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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
MercuryHalo Offline
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How do you deal with death? - January 28th 2014, 11:27 PM

So this may seem like the unanswerable question...and of course everyone has their own way of greiving but (Btw I am AmazonQueen, i cant log into my old account) I have finally changed my shitty childhood circumstances and I have been hit with a high concentration of death in 7 months. 3 People all under 30 years old have died, the man i lost my virginity (aka my ex) has got cancer again, they told him he has a year at best to live and now my friend who moved to australia for school MAY have cancer. I may play it off and make jokes to cover the shit storm that goes with but it's still getting to me
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Re: How do you deal with death? - January 29th 2014, 01:52 AM

Welcome (back) to TeenHelp! (On an unrelated note, you can try PMing Rob to see if it would be possible to gain access to your old account.) Since this thread is primarily about death and grieving, I'm going to move your thread to the corresponding forum.

I work with hospice patients and their family members/friends, both pre- and post-death. One thing I find myself emphasizing over and over again is that grief is a process. I don't describe grief as coming in "stages," because that implies you'll never experience [emotion/feeling] again once you've moved on to [different emotion/feeling]. Instead, I view grief as coming in waves - you may have some good days, then have a really bad day for reasons you can't quite explain.

Additionally, there are various "tasks" that need to be accomplished throughout the grief process. For example, when you first begin to experience grief (or come to the realization that someone is dying), you may need to work through the initial shock/disbelief. Then there's all the medical and legal paperwork to deal with (or funeral/memorial arrangements post-death). Your loved ones may support you at first, but over time, they may begin to spend less time with you as they begin to "move on." It can be a very frustrating and vulnerable time, and there's no shame in asking for bereavement support! There are usually support groups, but some organizations (e.g., hospices and non-profits) may offer individual counseling/therapy for free or at a low cost.

So what do you do? Acknowledge that you're hurting, and seek out support for yourself. It's okay to laugh, but laughing just for the sake of tricking people into thinking you're better off than you actually are isn't going to help in the long run. Certain therapeutic activities/exercises can help you process the grief and begin to incorporate the memories of your loved ones into your life, allowing them to hold a special place in your heart without leading to crippling depression or anxiety.

Last edited by PSY; January 29th 2014 at 01:55 AM. Reason: Moved thread to the Death and Grieving forum.
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Re: How do you deal with death? - January 29th 2014, 02:33 AM

Dealing with dealth is never easy.
For me, I cry, I try to be okay, I talk to people who care about me, who I can reach out too.
It's never easy and people deal with there own ways. Do what you think is right. Cry, talk, but remember they would want you to be happy they wouldn't want you to stop living your life and be upset all the time.

I'm sorry to hear about your friends, and loved ones. And I wish them all the best.

I really hope this helps.
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Re: How do you deal with death? - January 30th 2014, 03:22 AM

I understand how you feel over the past year I've gone to too many funerals. In the past 6 months I've lost a best friend and my best friends sister has died. And now I'm facing someone else's death because she has terminal cancer. Over the past months I've thought about how to grieve or deal. I've talked to a lot of people mainly on this sight because sometimes I don't want to deal with it in my personal life. It's been hard these months but I'm healing slowly I hope this helps.

Feel free to PM me to talk.
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Re: How do you deal with death? - January 31st 2014, 10:29 PM

I pretty much agree with what everyone else is saying. Everyone deals with death in their own way.The last time I was at a funeral was when I was in the 2nd or 4th grade, so I was still kind of young to understand things about death. As I grew older, I kind of started to understand things about death.

Some ways people deal with death is that they talk about the recently deceased person, instead of just letting it go. Remember all the good times a person had with the recently deceased person can sometimes help ease the pain of that person's death.

Member Since 1/15/2012
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Re: How do you deal with death? - January 31st 2014, 11:11 PM

I try and take my mind off of it by doing other things. When my nan died 2 years ago this February, I went back to college doing 4 AS-Levels. There was so much homework and projects, revision etc I needed to do that I didn't have much time or energy left to grieve, which was my aim in the first place.

Life is for living, not for losing.
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Re: How do you deal with death? - February 2nd 2014, 12:19 PM

Well I don't think I've honestly ever dealt with death well. My grandma just passed this week and I' m not as okay as I tell people I am. But, hat helps me is remembering the good memories and thinking about how whoever passed wouldn't want me to sit around and mourn them forever. It is okay to cry. If you hold all of your emotions in, you'll end up worse off in the end. Just try to take it as a positive thing that you met these people before their time and how much meeting them impacted your life for the better. Don't be sad that they're gone because then their impact would be negative and they wouldn't want that. I'm sorry if that doesn't help. I'm always a message away and if I don't reply ask wheels4life to contact me.

- Adalia

"Ghosts don't scare me. Flesh and blood people do." ~ Ellen Hopkins
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