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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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Beautiful_Mess Offline
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Unhappy Why did he do this to me???!!!! - February 27th 2014, 08:11 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Today at 1:30am my best friend Micheal shot himself in the head..infront of me on camera. He was my best friend..I had known him for 2 years. He had a tumor and didn't tell me about it till last month... we were caming early this morning and he said " I love you more than anything, Goodbye"
and before I could ask him what he was talking about, he pulled the trigger. I saw everything..I..I don't really know what to say..


R.I.P Micheal, I miss you...







Waiting is a sign of true love and patience,anyone can say "I love you" But not everyone can wait and prove it's true.

Some say it's painful to wait for someone,Some say it's painful to forget someone,But the worst pain comes when you don't know whether to wait or forget.

Last edited by Eternal Dreamer ♥; February 27th 2014 at 09:05 AM.
   
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Re: Why did he do this to me???!!!! - February 27th 2014, 09:09 AM

Beth, I added a trigger warning, due to the content of your post.
I'm so sorry you had to see that, and that you lost your friend right infront of you. No one should have to go through that.
You've gone through a very traumatic event, and it would be best to seek help from a professional, to talk to about it. I know it's hard, and it's sad, and your hurting. You witness something you will probably remember forever, and it's alright to cry, and show emotion, and it's even okay to go talk to your parents.
They can help you, and be there for you.
Again I'm so sorry for your loss.
   
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Re: Why did he do this to me???!!!! - February 27th 2014, 09:17 AM

Thank you I forgot to add that...I;m a lil shuck up right now...I have told my mom..and my family knows..they just don't know what to say..I just don't understand why this has happened...my life is soo screwed up...but thank you Kayla.







Waiting is a sign of true love and patience,anyone can say "I love you" But not everyone can wait and prove it's true.

Some say it's painful to wait for someone,Some say it's painful to forget someone,But the worst pain comes when you don't know whether to wait or forget.
   
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Re: Why did he do this to me???!!!! - February 27th 2014, 10:10 AM

Beth, I'm very sorry you had to experience that. Kayla is right - you really need to speak to a professional counsellor. We can offer support and advice, but I honestly think that your best option is to speak to a professional.


Feel free to email/PM/VM/whatever me if you want. I'll answer as soon as I can.

New blog - http://www.trueartisangsty.com/
Trying to keep it updated more or less daily as I write.
   
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Re: Why did he do this to me???!!!! - February 27th 2014, 10:50 AM

Yeah..I know..







Waiting is a sign of true love and patience,anyone can say "I love you" But not everyone can wait and prove it's true.

Some say it's painful to wait for someone,Some say it's painful to forget someone,But the worst pain comes when you don't know whether to wait or forget.
   
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Re: Why did he do this to me???!!!! - February 27th 2014, 07:55 PM

You can do this beth. It just will take some time.
   
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Re: Why did he do this to me???!!!! - February 27th 2014, 09:33 PM

Hey there.

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. Losing someone, especially the way you did, is never a easy things to deal with. I can, however, relate to your situation. I have seen someone take their own life in front of me while on duty. In the weeks after that, I experienced bad dreams, horrible pre-PTSD-like symptoms, which ultimately effected majority of my daily life. However I did end up seeking help, and it took months for me to understand that I did nothing to cause the death, I couldn't do anything to save the person in that particular situation, and I was also a victim of that horrible situation.

There is hope; things will get better. Keep your head up, seek help, and keep pushing on.


Best wishes,
Chris


Chris
I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
   
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Re: Why did he do this to me???!!!! - February 28th 2014, 05:46 AM

Thank you Chris







Waiting is a sign of true love and patience,anyone can say "I love you" But not everyone can wait and prove it's true.

Some say it's painful to wait for someone,Some say it's painful to forget someone,But the worst pain comes when you don't know whether to wait or forget.
   
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Re: Why did he do this to me???!!!! - March 3rd 2014, 05:21 AM

I'm really sorry about your friend. I'm not sure what to say, although I agree with Kayla. I can't imagine how hard this is for you. But there'll come a day when you can think back and think of happy memories.
   
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Re: Why did he do this to me???!!!! - March 4th 2014, 09:49 PM

Hey,

I'm so sorry for your loss. I haven't been in a similar or so situation, but if you do ever need anything, please do let me know and we can talk about it!

There's something hollow about the numbness, isn't there?
   
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Re: Why did he do this to me???!!!! - March 5th 2014, 09:14 PM

Hi Binx,

I'm so sorry to hear that. What an awful experience.

It might help if you can try to think of what happened from a different perspective. My first thought was... maybe he wanted the very last image he ever saw to be something that had to do with love. He wasn't thinking of the impact his decision would have on you. So don't that that too personally. Whenever a person commits suicide their only thought is that of dying. At least he was able to leave this world - loved.

Try to forgive him - if you haven't already. I'm sure that if he were able to come back he would apologize for doing that do you.

GREAT BIG HUG
Craig!

Last edited by CanadaCraig; March 5th 2014 at 10:04 PM.
   
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Re: Why did he do this to me???!!!! - March 5th 2014, 09:49 PM

Hi,
I am so sorry this happened to you. I can't even imagine what you must be going through right now. You should look for help, and remember that he would have wanted you to be happy. You can always message me if you want to talk


Be yourself, because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.
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March 6th 2014, 10:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by CanadaCraig View Post
Hi Binx,

I'm so sorry to hear that. What an awful experience.

It might help if you can try to think of what happened from a different perspective. My first thought was... maybe he wanted the very last image he ever saw to be something that had to do with love. He wasn't thinking of the impact his decision would have on you. So don't that that too personally. Whenever a person commits suicide their only thought is that of dying. At least he was able to leave this world - loved.

Try to forgive him - if you haven't already. I'm sure that if he were able to come back he would apologize for doing that do you.

GREAT BIG HUG
Craig!
I've forgiven him..I forgave him because I know he would have forgiven me when I almost committed suicide..a lil while ago. and Yes he was loved very much, If not by his family for sure by me, he was my best friend..I miss him so much..

Quote:
Originally Posted by stelles View Post
Hi,
I am so sorry this happened to you. I can't even imagine what you must be going through right now. You should look for help, and remember that he would have wanted you to be happy. You can always message me if you want to talk
Thank you, you could TRY to imagine what I'm going through but it may be very difficult. Yes he would want me to be happy, but he also wants me to learn something from this, I'm just not sure what...His sister emailed me a few days ago and told me that he left a note telling her to tell me he loved me and that I need and will learn something from this...But he didn't say what..any ideas?







Waiting is a sign of true love and patience,anyone can say "I love you" But not everyone can wait and prove it's true.

Some say it's painful to wait for someone,Some say it's painful to forget someone,But the worst pain comes when you don't know whether to wait or forget.

Last edited by Eternal Dreamer ♥; March 7th 2014 at 01:18 AM.
   
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