Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!

Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

Closed Thread
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
marsimegan Offline
Welcome me, I'm new!
marsimegan's Avatar
Name: Amara
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Location: NC- US

Posts: 2
Join Date: March 18th 2014

does anybody understand? - March 18th 2014, 07:45 PM

Unfortunately my younger brother committed suicide in November of last year.
I always felt like it would be me before him.
He was such a happy guy, it sucks because I could never fully understand why him.
I deal with depression myself.
My mom lost her son, knows her daughter is depressed and does nothing to help.
Is it wrong that I would trade my life for his if I could?
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Thereishope Offline
Skittles Minion & Fish Thrower
I can't get enough
Thereishope's Avatar
Name: Michael
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Location: Maine, USA

Posts: 2,778
Blog Entries: 76
Join Date: November 9th 2012

Re: does anybody understand? - March 18th 2014, 09:22 PM

First off, my condolences to you and your family on the loss of your brother It's not wrong at all to wish you could trade places with him. Actually I think it's quite a normal feeling when you loose some1 you care about.

Can't stop now, I've traveled so far. - Foreigner

I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance. - Garth Brooks

Assoc Live Help Mentor from 11/23/2014-1/17/2015, 8/8/2015-

Live Help Mentor from 1/17/2015-8/8/2015


  (#3 (permalink)) Old
DeletedAccount12's Avatar
Edit avatar

Posts: n/a

Re: does anybody understand? - March 18th 2014, 10:32 PM

I'm really sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how that must have felt for you. Have you gotten any therapy to help you deal with this? I think it might help, especially since you were already dealing with depression and now grieving. To answer your question, I think that is normal to feel the want to trade places. I hope you and your family find peace in the situation somehow.
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
I can't get enough
Eternal Dreamer ♥'s Avatar
Name: Kayla Christine.
Age: 26

Posts: 3,076
Blog Entries: 213
Join Date: June 15th 2010

Re: does anybody understand? - March 18th 2014, 11:14 PM

I agree with them. Its completely normal to feel like that when loosing someone close to you, specially with depression taking a toll on you too. I think you would benefit by being able to talk to someone who can help you grieve and deal better with depression. I believe after your 16, you can make a self referral to a therapist, at least I know you can in Canada.

I hope this helped.
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Chris Offline
Outside, huh?
Chris's Avatar
Name: Chris
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Location: Illinios

Posts: 4,247
Blog Entries: 3
Join Date: November 28th 2011

Re: does anybody understand? - March 19th 2014, 01:34 AM

Hey there, Amara.

I'm really sorry to hear about your loss. Losing someone (especially someone you are close to) can be one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do. And I'm sure having a mother (or parents) that don't want to help or don't understand what you're feeling can make the situation even worse.

While I understand and think it's normal to have want to switch places, it's wasted time and energy to focus on that. You're here, and now it's your time to continue and fix the issues that have been lingering in your life. Find help, become a better you, become happy with the life you have, and of course, don't forget your brother throughout the process. Doing this will ensure a better, healthier, and a much more successful future.

Best wishes,

I hope you know that you deserve it all. The best, the most honest, the most beautiful purest love in the world. Not only to be loved by others, but to be loved by yourself. To look in the mirror and think "Yes, I'm exactly who I want to be". To speak up and be proud of yourself. To be brave and open. You deserve the nicest and most caring people to walk into your life. You deserve it all, you know. The whole world...
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Rivière Offline
Par la rivière
I can't get enough
Rivière's Avatar
Name: Sarah
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Wales, UK.

Posts: 2,539
Join Date: June 7th 2013

Re: does anybody understand? - March 19th 2014, 02:29 AM

I think that you must have cared a lot for your brother to want to trade places with him and I think you also feel this way because you yourself are going through a lot of issues. A lot of people when they're suffering depression, they tend to put up a 'front' in order to get on with their daily lives and to ensure no one suspects anything is wrong which is one of the biggest reasons why people's depression develops even further. Your brother may have also been this way, so what may have looked to you like he was really happy, underneath he was really hurting to the point where he felt he couldn't go on anymore.

It's really sad that your mum chooses not to do anything about it, but from my perspective and through my own experiences where my mum doesn't always do much to help me either, it's not because she doesn't intend to, it's because she not only doesn't know how but is going through her own pain and may not be able to deal with anyone else's. I know we expect our parents to be there, to understand us, to look out for us and to help catch us when we fall but we have to remember they're only human, they're also suffering in their own way.

Have you considered talking to your mum about how you feel? If you haven't maybe it'd be a good idea to and to help shed some light on why she's not taking as much action as you think she should. You could even see your GP and they may be able to help you to get some help for yourself. Sometimes talking is good, bottling things up, isn't.

Finally, I'm very sorry that your brother committed suicide and although he can't be around anymore, know that he's with you in spirit.

Life is for living, not for losing.
Closed Thread



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All material copyright ©1998-2020, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints | Mobile

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.