TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Crazylady17 Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Crazylady17's Avatar
 
Name: Abbie
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Location: Nottingham

Posts: 34
Join Date: April 12th 2014

It's all my fault she died!! - April 12th 2014, 10:57 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So 5 months ago now my best friend in the whole world committed suicide, I didn't know she was going to commit so fast. She came to me once after college and told me her plans on how she was going to commit suicide, and she gave me a goodbye note and our memories together. She told me and made me promise NOT to tell a soul about how plans on what she was going to do...what sort of best friend am I? I let my own best friend take her life?!!! Why?!!!! Does that make me the murderer here? I feel so empty, lost and heartbroken without her. She was my everything, my rock and like a sister to me...

I was the one who found her hanging there in her room, pale as anything and she was already dead when I got to her... I just froze and tears was rallying fast down my cheeks, I hVe flashbacks of that day and I still remember it like it was only yesterday. It's awful.

I blame myself for her death more and more every single day. Nothing will take the guilt away, I feel pole hanging myself in to the Police..

It should of been me who died nor her!!!!

R.I.P beautiful angel! <3 <3


Never say never.
Keep smiling.
Never give up.
Stay strong.

Life is a roller-coaster ride.
Scars tells my real story.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Everglow. Offline
Did you miss me?
Outside, huh?
**********
 
Everglow.'s Avatar
 
Name: Hollie
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: London

Posts: 4,770
Blog Entries: 718
Join Date: January 19th 2011

Re: It's all my fault she died!! - April 13th 2014, 01:54 AM

Hey there,

It's hard to know what to say here, because I can't imagine what you're going through. I put myself in your position mentally and it's just unthinkable, and so I'm so sorry that you're experiencing what you are right now, especially with the guilt you have in your mind. I wish I had some magical words to make the pain go away, but grieving is a good thing and mourning will help. Don't be afraid to cry or to miss her, because death is full of pain and sadness, and it does leave you feeling empty sometimes, especially when someone who was such a massive part of your life has left you. I really am sorry for your loss.

I want you to know that it wasn't your fault, though. When people die, especially through suicide, there are always people looking back thinking about all the 'what ifs' or 'should haves'. It's inevitable that there is always something that someone could have done differently that may or may not have saved a life. I can pretty much promise you that you're not the only person with these thoughts. The thing is, though, that when people take their own lives, sometimes their decision has already been made and nothing would have stopped them. Even if something might have stopped them, you can't go back now, so there isn't any point dwelling on what could have been, because what's done is done now.

A lot of people also don't believe it will happen, and so they don't take the action they could have taken to prevent it. I think that suicide is one of those things. If I were given a suicide note, I might be a little reluctant to believe it too, but that's because suicide is so unthinkable that I think we dismiss it as a possibility. It's not your fault that she's dead. It's not your fault that you didn't tell someone. For whatever reason, you didn't tell them, and at the time it seemed like that was okay. You weren't to know that it wouldn't be and that's not your fault either. She is the person who killed herself - you didn't kill anyone. Please don't blame yourself, because it will eat you up inside and the last thing she would want is for you to feel pain like she did, I'm sure.

Death can be traumatic at the best of times, but something like this is especially terrible, and so I highly recommend talking to someone about what you've seen. A therapist or counsellor might be a good idea, because they are professionals and know exactly what to do to help you get through this. Chances are this is going to be hard and it will hurt for a long time. You may never get over this completely, but that's not a bad thing. You have the memories you and her shared stored away in your heart, and you'll remember her for years to come, and it's okay to miss her and be sad sometimes. It's okay to wish she was here still, but you will get to a point where the memory isn't quite as painful. You'll be able to smile at the memories and feel comforted knowing that she was a part of your life at all, and sure, it'll hurt that she isn't now, but you can continue to live a normal life yourself, with support around you to keep you on the right track.

As I say, I'm so sorry for all that you've been through. I really do wish you the best. <3


❤ Nana ❤
1953-2016

As far as we can discern,
the sole purpose of human existence
is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
- Carl Jung

   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Crazylady17 Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Crazylady17's Avatar
 
Name: Abbie
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Location: Nottingham

Posts: 34
Join Date: April 12th 2014

Re: It's all my fault she died!! - April 13th 2014, 02:31 PM

Hey there!

Thank you for your reply and such kind words! aw

Yes I know, but I'll always blame myself though? I mean I didn't tell anyone what she had planned and I should of mentioned it to someone, and then just maybe a professional could of kept her safe and helped her maybe? But no instead I let her go right ahead with her plans to commit suicide. What sort of friend am I? A terrible one!!!!
I have flashbacks to that day and it's so horrible and so scary.

I can't go on blaming myself, I have to hand myself in to the police. I deserve all this punishment, I deserve to be in prision yanno?
I feel like a murderer? Am i? :/

Thank you, means a lot!<3


Never say never.
Keep smiling.
Never give up.
Stay strong.

Life is a roller-coaster ride.
Scars tells my real story.
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
died, fault

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2018, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.