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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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ChanceS019 Offline
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Family Tree - January 13th 2009, 07:39 AM

Well yesterday in health class, my teacher told us to make a family tree with health problems and everything & to put down if someone was dead. This really set me off, cuz my dad died a year and a half ago, & I have enough problems with depression. I can kinda ignore the fact when i don't have to think about it, but writing out a family tree and putting died April 1, 2007 brings it right up into my mind. Idk I know that it's been over a year now & i should probably be getting used to that but i'm not & it's got me feeling even more depressed than usually. any advice??
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Re: Family Tree - January 13th 2009, 09:31 AM

Tell your health teacher that he/she is deeply insensitive.

My dad died when I was 8 - and I didn't deal too well with it at the time, I didn't grieve properly and when I was 14 I began having panic attacks and depression. I am okay now, but I would recommend that you talk to someone about how you are feeling and not keep it all bottled up inside. It's only been a couple of years since your dad died, and grieving takes different amounts of time for different people.

As for your school project, maybe have a word with your teacher and let them know how you are feeling.
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Re: Family Tree - January 13th 2009, 10:50 AM

I am really sorry to hear that you lost your dad. Doing a family tree must have brought up so many memories for you. It might have been over a year ago, but it doesn't mean you will miss him any less. When someone dies you can't just expect yourself to get use to it, because your dad sounds like he was a very special person in your life. Some days might be easier than others to get through. I guess you might tomorrow feel slightly more refreshed and able to cope. Maybe talking about your dad would help you to release some of those feelings. You are never alone and I am always here if you ever need someone to talk to so don't hestitate to PM me. Try and be strong for your dad.
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Re: Family Tree - January 13th 2009, 02:22 PM

I'm really sorry about the loss of you dad. Just because it has been a little over a year does not mean that it should necessarily be easier. Maybe talk to your teacher and ask if you can do an alternate assignment? Just explain the situation.

By no means do you need to be over the death of your father. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me.

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Re: Family Tree - January 13th 2009, 05:16 PM

I'm so sorry to hear about your father. I can only imagine how difficult thinking about this project must be for you. Maybe just let your teacher know that you're really sensitive about bringing up your father's death. I can't see her forcing you to do it if it's too emotionally difficult for you.

Again, I'm sorry about your father. It's never easy to lose people that we love. If you ever need to talk, let me know, okay?

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Re: Family Tree - January 13th 2009, 11:19 PM

I want to say, even though I know you've probably heard it before, that I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain of losing a parent.

When we lose someone, we experience a lot of feelings associated with grief--hopelessness, feeling lost, sadness, and sometimes anger, as well as others. It is okay to have these feelings and it is okay to share them. If you don't have anyone to talk to about how you're feeling, you could talk to your school counselor or even your health teacher. I'm sure they would understand and be willing to listen. I am also willing to listen, always.

If you don't, already, maybe try some things to help you remember your dad in a positive way. I find that keeping a journal of my memories with lost loved ones helps me to remember that, even if I can't make new memories with them, the ones I have are mine to keep. You could also draw, or paint.

Take some time out of your day to take care of yourself. Do something you enjoy, like a sport or artwork, or even reading or listening to music. Just take time for you.

Let me know if you ever, ever need anything.

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Re: Family Tree - January 14th 2009, 04:15 PM

I'm so sorry for you loss. That is bang out of order for your teacher to do that. If I were you, I'd go to your teacher in private and mention that it hurt you. If not, they might do this year after year with other classes and someone else might have to go through what you did. I think thats awful and really insensitive.

As for getting over your Dads death, you never will. You will adjust and get used to it, and in time it won't hurt so much. You never forget though, things just get easier to deal with. My Mum died when I was 13 and it doesn't hurt anymore. It bothers me and I think about it, but I don't feel upset and feel the need to cry like I used to when I though about it.

have you ever talked to a professional about this? Have you had bereavement counselling? Don't think just because it was a year ago you can't start now. It might really help x x
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