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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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Today is goodbye - May 18th 2015, 12:06 AM

Later today I will be saying goodbye to my nan for the final time. It feels like mentally I've not prepared myself for this. I've sat awake just thinking of my nan. I just don't want the afternoon to come, it just makes this loss real. My nan was suffering so I'm happy that she is now at peace and in a place where she is no longer in pain and not going through anymore horrible chemotherapy and no more injections and tests. Each time I saw my nan I prepared myself for it to be the last time I saw her. I am luckier than some. I have had 23 years with a woman on this earth who lived for each on of her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I'm lucky to have seen her the night before she passed and I'm lucky to have a family who are close and will support each other through this massive loss. But it's not the same as my nanny being here.

My nan was such a character. She was rude, she was unintentionally funny, she was kind, she was loving, she was straight to the point. She loved every moment that was spent with her family and she loved just being with us all. Now that she has passed the pressure has got to everyone and everyone is trying to grieve in their own way. My nan lived a good life and it was her time to go, it was painful to see her get so weak and so dependent on others, that was not the person my nan wanted to be. I know she was ready to die. But I wasn't ready to let her go. I know tomorrow we are going to do you proud and I am so blessed to have had you in my life for so many years. Nan I thank you for the strength that you have given me, even when you have not realised it. We shared such a bond. The weekends I spent with you, I know you loved every minute of it. I know you cherished having us girls around you and I know deep in my heart that we will always be your girls and I know as I stand up tomorrow in church you will be standing beside me making a comment about how depressing it all is and how you would not want all of the fuss for you and I know you will be appreciating all the beautiful words your children and grandchildren have to say about you.

Nanny you are in my heart forever. I just don't want to say goodbye tomorrow, I don't think I am ready yet.


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Re: Today is goodbye - May 18th 2015, 03:00 AM

I am very sorry for your loss. Best wishes to you and your family.
   
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Re: Today is goodbye - May 18th 2015, 08:26 PM

I think you view your nan in a very lovely and powerful way, never let go of that. Saying goodbyes can be hard but maybe you can get some closure to it at the same time but remember the grieving progress will continue still. We' here for you if you need us so don't be alone in this. I am so sorry for your loss but don't let it set you back. If you want a chat we're here.

Take care of yourself,
Jessie


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Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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Re: Today is goodbye - May 18th 2015, 09:47 PM

My grandma died a few years ago and I wasn't prepared for that either. She was an amazing person and I still miss her to this day. But having the good memories really helped keep her alive in my mind. Its always better to keep those good memories of her instead of the bad. Yes you may miss her, it might take a while for the realization that she is actually gone a while to kick in, it took me about 2 weeks for me to finally realize, but hold onto those good memories of her.


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Re: Today is goodbye - May 19th 2015, 04:54 PM

Thank you all. I'm going to try to do my best to start moving forward a little now, no matter how hard it's going to be.

Thank you again!
Paige


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Re: Today is goodbye - May 21st 2015, 11:52 PM

Just remember you aren't alone, okay? And moving on isn't easy but you CAN do it and we're here for you all the way.

Stay strong,
Jessie


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Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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Re: Today is goodbye - May 23rd 2015, 12:56 AM

I experienced something very similar to yourself when my Grandmother passed away in August. She also died of cancer.

It's really hard. Especially when your family is close. It will take a lot of adjusting to and the first few family gatherings when she isn't present will be difficult to handle. Grief is strange. It will creep up on you when you least expect it, but that's okay. It will be tough - but it get's easier. My family turned their attention to fundraising for a cancer charity as a way to keep her memory alive.

My advice to you would be to not feel pressured to act a certain way. Like you said, people grieve in different ways. There are different stages to grief. It can take some people years to go through the process, it can take others weeks. If you don't feel ready to move forwards and let go, you don't have to. Go at your own pace.

You're not alone in this. So many people lose loved ones to cancer and there's a huge support network out there.

All my love x




   
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Re: Today is goodbye - May 24th 2015, 11:23 PM

Hi,

Thank you for your support. I'm just going to try to take things one day at a time. I'm running the race for life in a few weeks in memory of my nan. It's definitely something to look forward to and something that would have made her happy and proud.

Paige


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Re: Today is goodbye - May 28th 2015, 06:37 PM

I'm so so sorry about your loss. Your nan sounds like a wonderful person and you're lucky to have had each other for the time that you did. I'm glad you're cherishing the memories, that's important for healing. I hope doing the run in memory of her helps a little too. It will take time, but you'll get through this.
   
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