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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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Zemie Offline
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I did something stupid - June 23rd 2015, 09:12 PM

A little over a week ago I lost my cat. He was only 5 years old and died very suddenly due to an untreatable neurological disease he was born with so there was nothing that couldve saved him. This cat was my best friend and I've never had a bond like I had with him with any person or animal and it was just like he was my soulmate which feels kind of dumb to say but whatever.
Anyway yesterday I was at petsmart with my friend and there was this cat there that I just really liked and I don't know why I let myself do this, I haven't been sleeping well and that's not an excuse but I ended up adopting this cat. And I mean its not like I can't take care of him and he's a cool cat and all but something about this just made me really depressed. My old cat used to follow me around and he was with me constantly and I had been so lonely I just wanted something to love me and I know that bond i had was like irreplaceable but i dont know. I didn't mean for this cat being a replacement because i know that's bad but I think that's basically what I did. I just feel really bad that I let myself do this. Like I know impuslively adopting animals is incredibly wrong and I just feel like a bad human being, Like i'm leaving for college soon anyway so now my family is stuck with this cat. I should have thought it over more im so stupid. I could probably take him back but I don't know if that will make me feel better or worse and I mean this poor little cat has a home now so that's good and I dont think I could deal with having to take him back, he seems to love being with us. But basiclly I just know I did the wrong thing and I feel horrible about it and I dont know what to do
   
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Re: I did something stupid - June 23rd 2015, 09:45 PM

Omg my laptop just crashed and i did a really long reply okay take two.

Everyone copes with loss differently but i think we'd all agree that loosing something you love is really really hard. We can do things then out of desperation that we wouldn't normally do to try and make ourselves feel better- it doesn't usually work that way.
But you should not feel bad at all. You are just coping- something no one can blame you for doing- and hey now you have a new cat Replacing someone or something is not bad because it doesn't show that you don't care but instead (as I said) that you are just dealing with it.
Sounds like you're a animal person so you should be happy that this cat is in your care rather than someone who wouldn't treat your cat very well.
I hope that everything goes well,
Good Luck xx


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Re: I did something stupid - June 24th 2015, 04:25 AM

I'm sorry for your loss. I lost a cat last month and it's incredibly painful. I don't think it was wrong of you to adopt a new cat, though. Like it was said, everyone grieves differently; there's no right or wrong way to grieve. You missed the unconditional love of your cat, and you happened to adopt another one and that's okay. It doesn't mean that you didn't love your other cat or anything like that. I don't think your family will mind taking care of this new cat. Taking care of it might be therapeutic for you and your family because you were used to having a cat to take care of before you lost one. This new cat is not a replacement for your old one. I bet your old cat would spend all his nine lives with you if he could.


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Re: I did something stupid - June 28th 2015, 07:46 AM

Hi, Ryan!

I'm sorry to hear that you lost your cat. I know that losing pets is never easy especially since they become family to us. Which is why I don't see your actions as "stupid" at all. Everyone grieves differently, and this was your way of finding comfort since you were so used to having your other cat keep you company.

You're right, with each pet is a different bond that you can't replace with another pet. This cat doesn't have to be a replacement, just a new pet. You must really like cats so think of this cat as a new addition to the household, and a new pet that you can form a different, new bond with.

He won't ever replace your old cat as your old cat was special with his unique personality-traits and the bond you had with him. But it could be therapeutic for both you and your family taking care of the kitty. I don't think your family would feel "stuck with it" while you're away, they actually may find comfort in having another pet around the house. Plus, think of it this way: this new kitty is lucky to have a new home with people who care about animals. You didn't do anything wrong, you gave a cat a good home.
   
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