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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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Good Morning Offline
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Name: Sydney
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Unhappy My neighbor took his life. - May 12th 2009, 02:01 AM

I've known him since I was in the first grade and he was in the second. During lunch, my friends told me a student from another high school had committed suicide that night. I asked who to see if I knew them - and I did. Stuart. Just then, all the memories of the sirens wailing and lights flashing up and down my street late last night came back into my mind. I first thought an elderly neighbor had been injured, but I now know it was so much more. I just ran out of the room and cried. I came back into the room and cried. I've been crying periodically throughout the day. I just can't believe this would happen. He's always been a sweet boy, fun to be around, and just cared for everybody. I can't for the life of me imagine why he would want to kill himself. Apparently his mother was home at the time he shot himself - so it's like the worst mother's day present ever. Sure, I wasn't his best friend, but I knew him well for a long time. And now I just don't know what to do anymore. Do I visit his family? Do I just pretend it didn't happen? Do I suck it up? God, I just can't even seem to think straight anymore. I didn't see him around too much after middle school, but I miss him. I really do.

RIP Stuart - we all loved you.
   
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Re: My neighbor took his life. - May 12th 2009, 02:30 AM

Hey Sydney. I'm so sorry to hear about this

Do you think you'll go to the funeral?


Yesterday I saw you kissing tiny flowers
But everything that lives is born to die
And so I say to you that nothing really matters
And all you do is stand and cry.


Music is life. Start living.
   
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Re: My neighbor took his life. - May 12th 2009, 02:32 AM

I hope I can. I'm not sure if his family wants to keep it closed or not. Plus I don't know when it is. But I really hope I can go. I just want to be there.
   
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Re: My neighbor took his life. - May 12th 2009, 02:34 AM

I think you should, then. I'd just go and talk to them, ask them when it is, tell them you were a friend of his and everything.


Yesterday I saw you kissing tiny flowers
But everything that lives is born to die
And so I say to you that nothing really matters
And all you do is stand and cry.


Music is life. Start living.
   
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Re: My neighbor took his life. - May 12th 2009, 07:42 AM

Hey, Sydney.

I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. When we lose someone who has been in our lives for a very long time, especially a young person, it can seem unreal. In our ideal world, they will be around “forever,” and when they are taken from us too soon, and so suddenly, it can be difficult to cope with.

Coping with the loss of someone who took their own life can be especially difficult. Try to take comfort in the fact that Stuart isn’t hurting anymore—and although that doesn’t bring him back, he is at peace.

If you want to, it is okay to pay your respects to the family. If the funeral is closed there may be a viewing that is not. Don’t feel obligated to attend the funeral or viewing—you have to make that choice on your own, and either way you choose is okay.

Take care of yourself, Sydney. Let me know if there’s anything you need; I’m always around.



Someday I will be strong enough to lift not one but both of us.
I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
   
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Re: My neighbor took his life. - May 13th 2009, 01:43 AM

Thank you two for being so kind. It really means a lot to me. This site and my friends have been helping me through this, so hopefully I'll be 100% better in no time. Anyways, thanks again for being so understanding and sympathetic.
   
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eunoia Offline
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Re: My neighbor took his life. - May 13th 2009, 02:45 AM

Hey there, Sydney.

It's great to hear that you have a lot of emotional support. It's very important to identify the people you can lean on, and to feel comfortable asking them to listen or for help.

Remember that the grieving process is different for everyone, and you don't have to feel 100% better right away--it's okay to be hurting right now, I hope you know that. Remember, also, that TeenHelp is always here for you. =] Give me a shout if you need anything at all. Take care.



Someday I will be strong enough to lift not one but both of us.
I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
   
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Re: My neighbor took his life. - May 14th 2009, 02:28 PM

hey... so sorry for your loss. *hugs* let yourself grieve and do take care of yourself!



and the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid"
   
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