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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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Should I be worried? - December 23rd 2015, 01:30 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I try and label all my miscarriage posts as triggering, because I understand this is a touchy subject. So keep that in mind.

So clearly the miscarriage situation has only been an 'issue' for a few days now, and at first, I was very upset, very emotional. My faith has a lot to do with my everyday life. I've prayed constantly over this situation. Before I actually had the miscarriage, when I knew it could be a real possibility, and of course when and even now. I pray for the courage to understand that God has a plan for me and my family, and that Riley (The name of the baby we had picked out) was needed in Heaven for a reason beyond my knowledge.

Since, I've been very calm about this. Jordan has even started to show signs that he his grieving, and everyone just assumes I'm upset and need support, and while it's nice to hear that there are so many people here for me, but I'm not upset. Truly. I'm at peace with this entire situation. I firmly believe that God has given me the peace I've prayed for, and even though I don't know what's going to happen in the future, God does, and I leave it in his hands.

Is it odd of me to have this feeling of peace so soon after something like this? Should I be concerned about this? I feel like I'm okay, but some people have asked me if I'm just saying I'm okay when I'm really not, ect.

I mean I feel fine, and I know there will be times when I get down about it, but for now I'm at peace, and I'm okay, and I just want people to know that I'm okay, this is okay, and this is normal.


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Re: Should I be worried? - December 23rd 2015, 01:38 AM

There is no right or wrong way to feel about anything, grief is no different; everyone grieves in their own way. If you are okay and at peace with this right now, that isn't wrong and it doesn't mean something is wrong with you. You're right that there will be times when this gets hard, I don't think your reaction (or lack thereof) is cause for concern. People care and want to make sure you have the support you need, just because they're expecting you to feel certain emotions doesn't mean that not feeling them is wrong.


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Re: Should I be worried? - December 23rd 2015, 04:30 AM

You're handling it amazingly, which is okay. And even if you weren't handling it good at all, and you were tangled up in all sorts of emotions, that would be okay too because either way is understandable. As Katie said, everyone handles grief differently even if it's similar to other people. There is no right or wrong way to feel because loss is a deeply personal experience for each individual.

You acknowledge and trust in God that he has a plan, and you find a lot of comfort in knowing he is there for you and your family; that's wonderful and healthy that you loved and still love your child, but you've found contentment and peace in your faith. I believe God has a plan for us as well, even if it's incredibly confusing and painful to us. I believe Riley's safe and happy with God in Heaven now, knowing love and care.

Don't be afraid to process this at your own pace, feeling whichever emotions come to you. You can continue to talk with us about any thoughts or feelings you have about this situation as well. Take care, Ade. I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers during this time.
   
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Re: Should I be worried? - December 24th 2015, 12:20 AM

Thank you both.


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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Re: Should I be worried? - December 31st 2015, 11:49 PM

Hey Ade.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Like the others have said, though, there's no "normal" or "right" way to grieve, so you shouldn't feel that what you're going through is odd or worrying. If it feels right to you, then that's the right way for you to be grieving at the moment. It may not look like how those around you are grieving, but that's okay.

While it's perfectly fine that you're at peace now, just remember that this may be a stage of your grief - so, like you said, you may feel down about it later on. That's okay too. It doesn't cheapen this feeling of peace or mean that you were mistaken in coming to terms with it so quickly. It's all part of the process, and it's okay to be sad or angry or anything else about it later on.

So, no, I don't think you should be worried about how you're feeling now, and how you're dealing with the situation. Just remember that you're not alone, and if you do feel worse in the future, you've got a support system right there waiting for you.

Take care, okay?


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Re: Should I be worried? - January 1st 2016, 02:14 AM

Thank you.


"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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