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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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When does grief become unhealthy? - October 10th 2016, 03:41 PM

At what point does grief become unhealthy?

I lost a friend to suicide two and a half years ago when we were 16. We were not close at the time but we had been earlier on in life. Her death was sudden and I am still struggling to come to terms with the fact she's really gone. I know that grief doesn't have a time table, but my friends are becoming concerned for me. One is especially concerned that I may be struggling with PTSD since the fear of losing anyone else to suicide occupies my mind so much.

I feel as if my grief is now unhealthy, but I'm not sure. What would be the steps to take if it is?
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Re: When does grief become unhealthy? - October 11th 2016, 02:13 AM

Hello Eclipse,
Welcome back to TH. I am glad you made a post here and reached out.
I recall a professor whom I had for one of my classes, she's a social worker as well. She said the average grieving time is 3 years. Then if it's still interfering with your daily life, it may be worth going to see a professional about it. You can look for someone who specializes in grief and bereavement. If you already see a counselor or therapist, have you spoken to them at all about it?

That said. I am really sorry to hear about your loss.
Do you do anything to remember your friend? Some people find writing letters helpful. Another idea would be to light a candle for her or planting flowers. If there's something you know she liked to do you can do it in her honor, or if there were any places that remind you of her, you can visit it.
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Re: When does grief become unhealthy? - October 12th 2016, 11:59 PM

Like you said I think everyone grieves in their own time and I don't know if we ever stop grieving; maybe the pain slowly lessens. I think grief becomes a problem when it is impacting your quality of life. It seems like your fears of losing someone else are intense, do they get in the way of daily tasks? Regardless, you still deserve help for how you're feeling. Maybe talk to a professional and see if they can give you some coping skills to help you improve.

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