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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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My friend has died and I don't know what to do. - December 8th 2016, 04:28 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I am a recovering Alcoholic. I have been going to AA meetings every Sunday for maybe a year and a half.

I can't go into detail here. But A from the meetings has died. My sponsor text me telling me and I feel heartbroken. I have been crying for hours. Another friend passed away at the beginning of the week, a friend who died earlier on in the year had her birthday this week and A has gone this week too. And it also reminds me of Josie, Peter and Hannah dying.

I feel like I need to self destruct. I've grieved so many times. I don't know if I can do it again. And I am so scared of losing the people close to me like my mum and sister. The fear is unreal.

I feel so sad and I don't think any words can even explain any of this.


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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Re: My friend has died and I don't know what to do. - December 9th 2016, 09:43 PM

Jessie,

I am so sorry for your loss. Having a loved one pass away is never easy, and it so often brings up painful memories. A couple of years ago one of my friends unexpectedly passed away, so I can emphasize with how hard it is. If there is anything I can do for you, or if you just want to rant, please don't hesitate to send me a message.

I know the urge to self destruct must be overwhelming, but you are strong enough to fight it. It's going to be hard, but I believe in you. We all believe in you.

Please take care,

Eclipse


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Re: My friend has died and I don't know what to do. - December 10th 2016, 12:09 AM

Hi Jess,

I saw your post online and I wanted to message you but I have been so busy this week that I haven't had a chance to yet. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Losing friends so close together is always so hard to deal with and you can't do it on your own. You need to surround yourself with people who can support you.

Your friends would not want to see you grieving their deaths. They would want to see you happy and remaining strong. You have come so far and it would be heart breaking for you to stumble back to where you worked so hard to get out of.

I am always here for you to talk to if you need anything. You know where to get a hold of me

Love you Stay strong
Brittany <3



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Re: My friend has died and I don't know what to do. - December 10th 2016, 08:18 AM

Jessie,
I'm so so so sorry for your loss. It must be so insanely hard to deal with losing people in such a small time.
I agree with Brittany, and I have to say I'm sure that your friends would want you to be strong and not self destruct. Something that I use, is asking myself what would the deceased person want. Would they want you to hurt yourself? Of course not. It's insanely hard, I know, but you can find the strength to get through it. I know you have the strength.

If you want to talk, PM me anytime. Stay strong


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And remember, you matter. You're awesome. You're beautiful. Stay strong, the world will get better.

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Re: My friend has died and I don't know what to do. - December 15th 2016, 03:59 AM

Jessie,
Im really sorry for your lost! Ive been through similar thing myself. So if you need anyone to talk to i am more then willing to talk! A agree with aguy, they would not want you to self destruct in anyway and it is a good thing to keep asking yourself "what would they want me to do?". When i was going through this, it help to talk to someone. Talk to anyone on here or in your family or friends to make sure they can help you get through this!

If you need to talk or want to talk, PM me anytime!
   
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Re: My friend has died and I don't know what to do. - December 15th 2016, 04:48 PM

Jessie, I am so sorry for your loss. You've lost quite a few people in the past year, but this is no reason to feel the need to live in fear of someone else dying; such as your mum or sister. Maybe you can communicate your fears with them? They can help reassure you that they are not going anywhere if they can help it. I think another important thing is to talk to a professional about it. Nobody expects you to deal with grief on your own, and it's best to get it in the open instead of resorting to self-destructive behaviors. I know you don't want to go back to the hospital again. You can do this, Jessie! I believe in you.
   
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Re: My friend has died and I don't know what to do. - December 16th 2016, 12:31 AM

i'm really sorry for your loss. No one could live forever, i know it's hard to think it over but there're some friends who have to pass away before others do so i think you have to accept this truth.
You should find a friend/family members to tell them about your grief. it will make you feel better, or start a new hobby.
   
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Re: My friend has died and I don't know what to do. - December 18th 2016, 06:38 AM

Hi Jessie,

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.

If there is anything you need, my inbox is always open.


   
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Re: My friend has died and I don't know what to do. - December 18th 2016, 02:15 PM

Thank you for all the replies. You're all too lovely.

I have no one to talk too. My CMHT (Cpn's and support worker) tell me that they're only allowed to talk about skills and distractions with me and not how I feel or anything that is going on. That has to be talked to with psychology which is a 3 year waiting list. So I am so alone.

I know tonight we're all writing in a card to A from AA to his dad to send our love etc and we're all putting in a donation to AA so I am putting in ten pounds in memory of him but I am still heartbroken and Hannah's court trial starts next month because she was murdered and so that could go on for a while too.

I am trying but its been a bad week or two. But thank you for all the responses. It means a lot to me.

Jessie


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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