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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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Nightblood. Offline
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Unhappy I never thought I'd post in this forum.. - May 24th 2009, 12:43 AM

How ignorant of me to think so. The kid that bullied me to an extent, as well as the first guy I truly liked that much..and the last, died today.
I just can't believe it, the thought of not running into him when I visit my old town, no prank phone calling him with friends, no more apologizing. I keep waiting for someone to say "oh just kidding, all those facebook statuses about him are a joke" but I know it won't happen. I'm sick of hearing "do you remember him? well, he died" I already know, facebook being flooded with RIP statuses, and the texts from friends still in that town...it's all too much.
RIP Matt.

I need to watch movies with my mom, I'm afraid of what I'll do if I'm alone.



"We all have battle scars, Finn. Suck it up and build a brace for yours."
   
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Re: I never thought I'd post in this forum.. - May 24th 2009, 11:23 AM

I'm so sorry Keena. It's so sad when people loose someone close to them. Please stay safe and come on to TH if you need anything.


P.M me anytime you need or want to talk to me. God Bless.
   
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Re: I never thought I'd post in this forum.. - May 24th 2009, 10:30 PM

It's so weird, I just keep waiting and waiting for someone to say its a joke, a senior prank of some kind, but its not...I've seen the news articles. I used to take walks where he died.
Finding out how he died exactly, he really didn't deserve this, despite anything he's done.
He was going 80 down a hilly farm road, it was narrow and he just passed another car. I guess he lost control, and the car flipped 8 times, his part of the car, the driver's seat was the only one damaged. Something went through his heart, or head...I don't know what I was told. There was blood everywhere, and one of the other two kids in the car with him checked his pulse...he had none.
I guess the most I can pray for now is that it happened fast, and he felt no pain.

I keep going between shock, numbness, and devestation. I don't know how I'll handle exams this week..



"We all have battle scars, Finn. Suck it up and build a brace for yours."
   
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Re: I never thought I'd post in this forum.. - May 24th 2009, 10:57 PM

sorry to hear about your los but hey, you can get thrugh it i have faith.

pm me any time. night or day./


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Re: I never thought I'd post in this forum.. - May 25th 2009, 12:07 AM

Hey Keena.

We all think, and hope, that we'll never have to post about the death of someone we know. We're all in the mind set that ''Death is something that happens to other people''. But unfortunately, death is something that touches everybody. Young, and old. And it's always hardest when it's somebody young. All you can think about is how much longer they could have lived and what a great life they could have had. I'm truly sorry for your loss, Keena.

I once lost someone I knew in a car accident, and it really is devastating. You don't see it coming, it's completely out of the blue and it hits you so hard to hear the news that someone who you supposed was perfectly fine and safe, has died. But you have to keep telling yourself that he isn't in pain anymore. Whether he felt pain or not at the time, will never be known. But it's okay because he's safe and nothing can hurt him anymore.

Denial is completely normal. Everybody grieves in their own way and at their own pace. It's all about going through the motions, until the pain starts to subside and thinking about the person is no longer painful- it's a happy feeling. Keena, nothing can take away any happy memories you have of him. You can remember him anyway you want. You can forget anything bad and focus on the great things about this guy. You can have whatever memories you want. He may be gone physically, but he'll always be in your mind. He hasn't left you in that sense.

Keena, wherever you believe your friend is now, he is safe. He's okay. He's not in pain. Nothing can get to him where he is. His nightmare is over now. And you know what? You're still alive. You have to go out there and show the world that nothing can get you down. You can live the life that was taken away from him!

I know it's difficult to try to get on with every day tasks, but just hang in there, Keena. Talk to your mother or a friend if you need. We're here for you. I'm here for you. You can PM me any time you need to, and I promise to reply. You can keep talking here. You can talk on LiveHelp when it's online or send a request to HelpLINK. See, Keena, there are so many people around to help you through this tough time.

Everything's going to be all right. You're strong, you can get through this. Take good care of yourself, okay? Remember, you're not alone.
   
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Re: I never thought I'd post in this forum.. - May 25th 2009, 12:30 AM

I'm so sorry that happened, Keena. I also lost a friend to death, though I was far younger than you. After the reality sinks in, and you can cry about it, it will get better. Eventually everyone will stop talking about it, and you'll get over the shock. Once you get over the shock, and can grieve properly, it gets better from there. Whatever you do, don't hold back. If you feel sad, cry. If you're angry, scream. Have you ever noticed how children stay so carefree? They throw tantrums when they're upset, and they feel better afterwards...give it a try.

Also, know that you're not going through this alone--meet up with and talk to other friends of your deceased friend. They're bound to be going through something similar if they were as close to him as you were. Supporting them, and being supported by them will give you the strength to overcome this. It also wouldn't be unwise to seek professional help, or see a counselor, if you are truly overwhelmed. They're there specifically to help you, so don't be afraid to go to them for help.

PM me if you ever need someone to talk to We're all here for you, Keena.
   
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Re: I never thought I'd post in this forum.. - May 25th 2009, 01:20 PM

Thats the thing, i don't live in that town anymore. or even that state. its a small rural town, so the entire town is devastated, and its like time there has just stopped. saturday was also the graduation at my school so everyone here is celebrating and things are just flying by and im just stuck in the middle. i've barely stopped crying since saturday afternoon, and he never even liked me. and i liked him more than i should have, he made fun of me all the time and pretty much bullied me but he also had his sweet moments.
he has his own facebook group now, and everyone is saying how no one disliked him, everyone loved him but really i know it isnt true...so many people thought he was annoying, but didn't dislike him really.
i have exams this week and i dont know how ill be able to go, i think of one little thing that even reminds me of him and break down crying.



"We all have battle scars, Finn. Suck it up and build a brace for yours."
   
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Re: I never thought I'd post in this forum.. - May 27th 2009, 10:19 PM

Hi Keena, I don't know what it is like to lose someone that was the same age as you. But I lost my dad three years ago. You can get through this. You have faith and you can find the strength to get through this. If you ever need to talk to anyone, PM me.
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