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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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Dog died yesterday - June 13th 2017, 01:32 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I feel like this is kind of stupid because he was a dog while everyone else seems to be posting about family and friends but I imagine that if I posted in a different sub-forum, my thread would just get moved here anyway.

He was very old. Labradors usually only live 10-12 years and he was turning 13 this year. I'm 17 this year, we'd had him since I was 4 years old and he was just a pup so we grew up together. He had a tumor too but the vet said it was too risky removing it at his age and so, it was only a matter of time before he'd pass. That was maybe mid last year. And he was doing so well, he was on pain meds but he was still pretty happy until last Saturday. He just took a turn for the worse out of nowhere and we ended up taking him back to the vet. The vet said that the tumor had grown too large and he was probably anemic too, that he wouldn't last the day and so, we had him put to sleep because he was in so much pain that not even the meds would help him.

And I didn't actually go with my mom when he got put to sleep, I kind of wish I did now. We didn't really know if he'd need to be euthanized or if they could prescribe something. But she'd taken blankets to put in the backseat of the car, where my dog always sat. When she came home, I watched from the window. She opened the back door and I thought she was going to let him out of the back because I thought they must've gotten meds and then come back. Then I saw that she just took the blankets out and then shut the door behind her, that's how I knew he was gone.

I didn't cry (well, I am now) but I just felt weirdly empty. I feel bad because I knew him since I was 4 and I didn't even cry. It's like it didn't really register with me, how much everything would change. My mom told me he was gone but I just didn't feel anything? I felt pretty mad actually, I don't know why. I feel like it should have been preventable, even though it obviously wasn't, like they should've done more to save him. And then that night, I cut badly and I still didn't cry afterwards. I usually cry after I self-harm that badly, I don't know why.

Then I went to school today and one of my friends hugged me because I'd text them to let them know he'd been put to sleep the day before. They asked if I was okay and I said I was fine. I actually didn't feel too upset at all. And I had pretty normal conversations and went to all my classes. I was fine for most of tonight. It's about a quarter past eleven right now and I can't stop crying? I actually put on Fall Out Boy to try and distract myself but I think I'm crying worse now because I don't feel like listening to music I don't know what I hope to get out of posting here. When do you start to feel better about this sort of thing?
   
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Re: Dog died yesterday - June 13th 2017, 06:28 PM

Hi there, I am so sorry for your loss. First of all, never be afraid to post what's on your mind even if it's not mentioned much in the forums. Everyone has the right to share what they want, whether it's a common topic or not.

It's never easy to lose a pet, I know. I've lost three cats that I grew up with between the ages of 20-23. It takes a long time to recover from it and you may never truly do. My cats still visit me in my dreams from time to time, not as often as they used to but they still do. I always wake up in tears because I just miss them so much and the thought of not hearing their mew, feeling their purrs, cuddling with them ever again breaks my heart just a little bit each time. But at the same time, I cherish the memories I have with them, and you should do the same when it comes to your dog.

Everyone grieves differently, and there's nothing wrong with the way you are grieving. Can you speak to your mum or any siblings about this? Maybe your friends have lost a pet, so you can reach out to them for support during this time. A dog is still very much a part of your family as a human, so don't be afraid to reach out to someone. Grief is the same no matter who has died. If you need to reach out to us again, or want to chat privately, don't be afraid to make another post or send a PM.
   
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Re: Dog died yesterday - June 13th 2017, 09:37 PM

someone who was a childhood friend and well into your teen years is going to have the most impact for a 13 year stretch, as you say and he will have releated to you just as much as a person would have
i have to think of it being a matter of accepting this is how it is now and there's also the times you would have spent together. I know the dog i have does all sorts like going for walks, coming on the sofa with us. I'm sure you have had a lot of quality times all the same and the void is there because its just stopped.
   
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