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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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Why does it hurt? - August 22nd 2017, 12:05 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of death or grieving, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

There was this guy...he was in his 60s and was a relative of mine. I don't even know how we were related but we were, I know his name but I won't share it online. I literally only met him once but I thought he was really special because we shared a birthday and he was actually nice to me. I'm scared of a lot of people because of my social anxiety so I was surprised when he wanted to talk to me. I also thought it was cool that he said he could feel the spirit of their dead cat, his wife said it was because he was close to death. Not worded like that. And I always wanted to see him again. I called up my grandma and asked if he was okay because he had terminal bone cancer. He was and he was supposed to come into town to see us again. We missed his visit and I was really upset but I thought I could see him again. He was supposed to come visit this year but he was on a roof, helping a friend and he slipped. And he broke his neck. I don't know why but I've been crying. A lot. Like until tears are just running down my face. I've been listening to blink-182's Not Now on repeat, just crying my eyes out and the words are:
I'm here
Hold on
To me
I'm right here
Waiting

I just imagine that he's watching over us and I'll see him someday but it might actually be making me feel worse. I tried to tell my friend about it and she just laughed, she thinks it's funny for someone to die by breaking their neck. I think it's a horrible death. I don't know why I'm so upset, I didn't know him that well anyway...
   
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Re: Why does it hurt? - August 22nd 2017, 06:22 PM

I think it's perfectly understandable that you are upset this person died. It doesn't matter how well you knew him, he still had a place in your life even if it was very minor. I'm sorry for your loss, and I think it's good that you're finding healthy ways to cope with your grief such as listening to relateable songs.

If you need to reach out again, don't hesitate. Hang in there.
   
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Re: Why does it hurt? - August 23rd 2017, 01:12 AM

It is normal to feel upset; you just lost someone. You said you liked him and given your social anxiety it must be difficult to lose someone you didn't feel anxious around. It is hard but try not to judge yourself based on your feelings. Instead, see if you can allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you need to so you can release everything from your mind.

Death by a broken neck is definitely a horrible way to go and it is unfortunate that your friend thought it was funny. Perhaps you can write about your feelings or talk to someone else you trust about what you're experiencing.

Imagining that he is watching over you and you will see him someday can be comforting but it is understandable to also feel like that is making things worse. Try to picture things that are comforting you. For instance, maybe tell yourself that he is still with you even if his body isn't alive anymore; he is still in your heart.

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