TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Kaneisconfused Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Kaneisconfused's Avatar
 
Age: 21

Posts: 1
Join Date: October 6th 2017

Exclamation I miss her please help me - October 6th 2017, 06:45 PM

I know it isnt as significant as deaths here but my dog also died last week and I miss her so much too
I'm so sad there's too much death around me
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Golfing girl Offline
Be Creative. Always Dance.

I've been here a while
********
 
Golfing girl's Avatar
 
Name: Emma
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 1,704
Blog Entries: 101
Join Date: March 6th 2017

Re: I miss her please help me - October 6th 2017, 07:03 PM

Hello and welcome to teenhelp I am so glad that you have joined and you are asking for help with this.
I am so sorry that you are having a really hard time with this and I am so sorry for you're loss. It is ok to cry and feel so many different things. When you have just lost someone you're mind is all over the place and you don't know what to do or say or feel. And you can feel whatever you need to, and if that is sadness or anger or anything else it is totally fine. If you don't want to talk to anybody that's okay too or if you do want to talk to people who can do that as well. You want to take care of yourself as much as you can. And it's hard because you may not know what to do to help yourself. Can you try writing a letter and get everything out that you can. Get all of your feelings and emotions out onto the paper and then when you're done you can rip the paper up into a whole bunch of pieces and throw it away. Try not to hold anything back when you're writing down you're feelings get everything out as much as you can to help you feel better. Also can you put on the funny TV show or movie to help you be ok, or music. You want to find things that you do for fun and do them, because it will distract you from on you're mind. Everyone grieves different and it's not a right or wrong way to do this. It's going to take sometime, you will be ok and start to feel better. I hope that you will be ok. Lots of Hugs.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Everglow. Offline
Did you miss me?
Outside, huh?
**********
 
Everglow.'s Avatar
 
Name: Hollie
Age: 24
Gender: Female
Location: London

Posts: 4,771
Blog Entries: 718
Join Date: January 19th 2011

Re: I miss her please help me - October 6th 2017, 07:09 PM

Hey there,

I'm so sorry to hear about your poor pooch! Don't be sorry for posting this - just because your dog wasn't a person doesn't mean she wasn't family. It's just as significant because you love her and miss her, and that's ok! A couple of years ago I lost my cat and went through very similar feelings, so it's natural. Pets become a huge part of our lives and then when we lose them it can really hurt, so it's a good thing to express that in the way you have done.

I would suggest doing something to help you remember your dog. For example, you could frame a photograph of her and keep it by your bed so you have something to look at when you get sad. Alternatively, you could hold a small funeral or memorial for her. Get your family together and say a few words so that you get to say goodbye to her in a nice way. I would also recommend chatting to your friends and family about her. I found this helped me, and I'd sometimes bring up a funny story about something my kitty cat had done which made me laugh, and although I miss her now and I did then too, it made it easier to get through. Because the truth is, even though your dog might not be there physically anymore, she was a huge part of you and has obviously had a big impact on you, so she'll never really be gone because you have the memories of her to keep with you forever. Hold onto them and let tat give you some comfort. It's ok to cry if you need to, and being sad is perfectly natural! Grieve in the way you need to, just because she's a dog doesn't mean the grieving process needs to be much different to that of a person. Take your time and know that it's ok not to be ok right now.

I hope you know you don't have to do this alone. If you need a chat, feel free to send me a message. Tell me a funny story about your dog! Or, if you fancy talking about something else, let me know. I'll help however I can if you need someone. Look after yourself!


❤ Nana ❤
1953-2016

As far as we can discern,
the sole purpose of human existence
is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
- Carl Jung

   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
del677 Offline
Member
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
del677's Avatar
 

Posts: 516
Join Date: December 28th 2016

Re: I miss her please help me - October 7th 2017, 07:54 AM

Oh I'm sorry your dog died. That's like having a member of the family die.

For me, when someone close to me dies (which has actually happened, unfortunately), I feel the need to go to support group meetings. I'll crash an AA meeting (even though I don't drink), or an NA meeting (even though I have never used drugs), or a Nar-Anon meeting (yes I do know a few people on drugs, so this actually counts) or an Al-Anon meeting (I don't know anyone who drinks, but I could pretend I do). Or a Families Anonymous meeting. Or a Bipolar and Depression support group.

Or, actually And, I went to Hospice and got free counseling there, and they have support groups there too, though I wasn't invited to join any.

I just know these types of "Processing Groups" where you can tell your story and they will listen, having that ability to tell your story of who you lost and how you're feeling about it, and having other people listen and acknowledge your loss, that can be very cathartic and healing. I just kept going back day after day for 2 weeks. After 2 weeks I was mostly over it. But I knew what I needed to do to take care of myself.

Surround yourself with friends, tell then your story of your dog, tell stories of who he was, what he meant to you, etc., if they are good listeners it will help.

They shouldn't try to "fix" things. Death can not be fixed. But the emotional reaction to the death can be lessened so it eventually becomes an accepted part with not so much troubling emotional attachment. It's called "Processing". You process your feelings by telling other people, other people acknowledge and say you're still a good person and he was a good dog, and you keep doing that with as many people as it takes, until the emotional need to tell people about it is satisfied.

You could also have a memorial service for your dog. Private or public. A private part for you, a public part for you and your supportive friends. (You could even ask a pastor or someone to officiate if you wanted. They can add structure and add a few comments. Pastors do funeral services all the time. It's part of their job.)

Best wishes. (People say "Don't bottle it up inside. Let it out." Not sure but I think that means tell people who will listen.)
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
xxpaigiexx Offline
Up In The Clouds...

I can't get enough
*********
 
xxpaigiexx's Avatar
 
Name: Paige
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: London

Posts: 2,383
Blog Entries: 96
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: I miss her please help me - October 8th 2017, 01:49 PM

Hey there,

I'm sorry for your loss. Pets become apart of our families, and when we have to say goodbye to them it's difficult. You have to think about it this way if your pet was ill/in pain then as upsetting as it is, then perhaps they are in a better place. Try to think of all the good memories that you and your dog shared.

I wish you the best of luck,
Paige


Facta Non Verba
Deeds not words
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Abbidabbidoo Offline
My life is my baby boy Jackson
Not a n00b
**
 
Abbidabbidoo's Avatar
 
Age: 17
Gender: Other

Posts: 51
Join Date: October 7th 2017

Re: I miss her please help me - October 8th 2017, 01:57 PM

Kaneisconfused, first off losing a pet is significant as they are an important part of the family and I am so sorry that you are going through this rough time. All I can really say to you as someone who has lost a pet is grieve as much as you want and also remember those good times you had with her. No matter what those times will never be taken away from you in your memory. Big Hugs.
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Fading Light. Offline
I'm sorry you lost.
TeenHelp Addict
************
 
Fading Light.'s Avatar
 
Gender: Data dog
Location: Outer space

Posts: 9,223
Blog Entries: 60
Join Date: September 20th 2009

Re: I miss her please help me - October 8th 2017, 09:54 PM

As the other posters have said, losing a pet is definitely significant. Any kind of loss is valid, and you should never feel like you're not allowed to grieve just because other people may have lost family members or friends and you've ''only'' lost a pet. It sounds like your dog was part of your family, and it's entirely understandable to miss her now that she's passed on.

I would recommend doing whatever feels right for you in the moment. For example, maybe you want to distract yourself for a while until enough time has passed for you to be able to safely process your feelings. Or you might want to just feel sad for a bit without trying to move on or examine your feelings yet. Or maybe you want to talk to people and share stories and happy memories of your dog. Regardless, remember not to let anyone dictate how you should grieve or what you're allowed to feel. There may be people who will tell you that your dog was ''only a pet'', but don't let that invalidate your feelings. You loved your dog, and she's gone now, and you're allowed to feel whatever you're feeling in response to that.

I hope this helped a bit, and I'm very sorry for your loss. Please feel free to respond to this thread or message me if you'd like to talk about it further.


if you know the hunter's coming
then you hide or keep on running
'cause she's slain the gods before.
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
hussamabd Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
hussamabd's Avatar
 
Age: 27

Posts: 11
Join Date: October 10th 2017

Re: I miss her please help me - October 10th 2017, 08:07 PM

i am very sorry about this , i passed this by making new friends and playing sport
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Hanna Banana Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
Hanna Banana's Avatar
 
Name: Hanna
Age: 17
Gender: Female
Location: The Shit Hole They Call Earth

Posts: 77
Join Date: October 9th 2017

Re: I miss her please help me - October 11th 2017, 01:58 AM

Pets are significant and you deserve to grieve in any way you need and for how long you need to for your little furry friend. I have a little dog who has gotten me through a lot of depressive episodes as well as severe anxious times and if that isn't someone who is significant I don't know who is. So grieve anyway you want and for how long you want and keep all those memories close to you.


"Every challenge is an opportunity to prove to the world that you are, Extraordinary."~ Lzzy Hale of Halestorm
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
miss

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2018, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.