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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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Friend... - April 20th 2018, 08:15 PM

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I'm struggling a lot with my best friends death. She committed suicide when I was thirteen and I don't know why. It hurts. I had tried to commit suicide a little while before she did and I feel like I triggered her to do it. It makes me feel really guilty. i couldn't stop her. I let her die. It's been almost two years since her death but I keep getting flash backs and it's crippling me. They have gotten worse in the past couple months and I don't know how to cope with it ALONE anymore... I have talked to my counselor and therapist about it but they don't help much. I need some advise on coping from people who know how I could be feeling not just someone who prescribes medicine and asks "how are you feeling today"



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Re: Friend... - April 20th 2018, 11:45 PM

Hello,

I am so sorry that you are having a hard time with this. When someone passes away it is hard to figure out what to do and to make yourself feel better. It is really good that you are talking with others about this, and they are you're counselor and a therapist. When you see them, and they are always asking you how you are doing, you can tell them how that makes you feel.
Also if it is hard to say to them face to face, then you can write it down on paper and give it to them to read.
Also you can try making a scrapbook and putting all kinds of pictures in it. Or you can join a support group to help you with this. Or you can write a letter and put everything in it and get everything out and then when you are done you can rip it into a whole bunch of pieces and throw it in the garbage. This can help you to get whatever you are feeling out. You can put on music or funny movie's or going for walks or reading to help you. Or anything else that you enjoy doing. Also, it does take some time to heal when someone passes away. It is okay to feel different emotions. If you are able to talk with you're parents or friends about this or siblings to help you. I hope that you will be okay. Hugs
   
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Re: Friend... - April 21st 2018, 06:31 AM

Hello,

When we lose a loved one to suicide it can be really difficult. I think that it's common for people to blame themselves but you need to know that you didn't cause her suicide. You didn't let her die. You cannot control how others respond to things. While we want to protect the ones that we love we can't always and your struggles did not cause her to do this.

I am not sure the best way for you to come to terms with that but I think it's possible to work through it in therapy. I know you said your counselors are not helpful but maybe you could explain why that is or maybe you could write down the things you want to work on with them to help them better understand what your needs are. Therapists sometimes need us to point out what we want from them and what our goals are so that they can better help us.

What are some healthy things that help you cope when you are struggling with her loss? Maybe you could listen to music, read, color or watch shows. I know when I am struggling with the loss of loved ones it helps to distract myself for a bit. Something else that might help is taking time to write down your feelings. You could utilize our blogs, the forums or you could write it down in a journal. Do you think writing would help you?

Please know that if you need anything you can message me.


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