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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
OhMyLorde Offline
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My friend - November 8th 2018, 03:29 AM

I don't really know how to deal with loss since I haven't really experienced it before, but one of my best friends from high school died a couple weeks ago and I'm really struggling. I don't really know what to do because I'm in college 8 hours away from home and I don't like loading it on my friends. I should be happy because I have friends and I haven't really had that before and I'm having fun but I'm just sad all the time. It's really hard...

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Celyn Offline
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Re: My friend - November 8th 2018, 07:25 PM

Sorry to hear about the loss of one of your best friends. That must be devastating for you, especially if you are away from home.

Grief can be difficult and there can be many other emotions like sadness, disbelief and anger that you may notice. It can help to talk to others about what you are going through.

It's really good that you have friends, more so if you haven't had many friends in the past. It's understandable that you wouldn't want to unload onto your friends, but maybe you can just let them know that you lost someone recently and it's affecting you. You can decide how much to tell them. If not, maybe you can reach out to mutual friends or your family instead? You may also be able to talk to a counsellor at your college and at the very least you can journal your feelings or talk to us on here!

It's okay to feel sad and cry, or find ways of remembering your friend. But you don't have to go through this alone

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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Golfing girl Offline
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Re: My friend - November 9th 2018, 01:51 AM


I am truly sorry for your loss and I hope that you will be okay soon. When we have lost somebody it's okay to not know what to do. We can feel lost or upset or crying or angry or want to be by ourselves or be around your family or friends or pets or go and do something or so many other things and that is totally fine. You want to do what helps you and keeps you going through this time. They do not have a rule on how we have to grieve. Everyone is different when we have lost somebody and that is okay, we do not want to be like everybody else. So if someone else is talking all the time and bringing up stories or they want to be alone, let them do that. If you want to be around all of your friends or family or you are crying or you want to punch your pillow or be along too because you are so angry, you go ahead and do that to get out what you are feeling inside of you. You want to get out all of the emotions out of you. When someone has passed away we do not want to keep everything that we are hurting inside of us because it will keep bringing us down and down more and more no matter. Also this is not good for us physical or mentally.

Would you be able to talk to the school counselor about what you are going through and let them know that you are having a really hard time and you need someone to talk with. They really enjoy talking to all of us to help us out with whatever we are going through. None of them want us sad or hurting with anything. Or would you be able to talk to a teacher that you really like and ask them for help with this. Talking helps because you are able to get out what you are feeling and they can talk back with you. Sometimes when you start talking we may cry or feel different things and that's okay just keep going if you can. Or if you are able to, would you be able to write a letter and put everything in it and you can give it to them to read to help you out with this. And you can write a letter to get everything that you are feeling out of you and then you can rip the paper into a whole bunch of pieces and throw it into the garbage to help you feel better.

Also would you be able to do different types of things to get your mind off of this to help you out. For example, would you be able to get out and go for a walk or put on some music or grab a book or drawing or put on any funny movie or TV show or calling someone to talk with or being with someone for a while or anything else that you enjoy doing. It is going to take something, and I know that you are not able to see if right now but it will get better. You are going to have good days and some not so good day, but on those days try to keep going and do something if you can. I hope that you will be okay soon. Hugs.

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Re: My friend - December 4th 2018, 04:11 PM

K, I am so sorry for your loss of your close. I have never lost a friend so I really can't say i know what you are going through, but I can only imagine it being awful. As for you being a distance away at college they do probably have counseling resources for you to be able for you to talk to someone and at least for the time being while away and before you return home for break release some of what you have inside. It may not be the ideal situation but it is better than keeping it all inside. You may also have a trusted teacher you could talk to as well. I hope you can find some relief before you go back home for the holidays.
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Re: My friend - December 4th 2018, 10:01 PM

So sorry for your loss. I lost my best friend when I was 16. There should be some counselling services on your campus. If you need anything, PM me Grief is so difficult to handle, I struggled for a while but after speaking to a counsellor it really helped me.
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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Odyne Offline
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Re: My friend - December 13th 2018, 08:43 PM

Hey lovely. <3
So sorry to hear that. Itís never easy when people die.
If you ever need someone to talk to, just send me a message - link is in the bio.

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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
~Scooter~ Offline
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Re: My friend - December 16th 2018, 01:48 AM

K, there is no way to deal with loss. I lost my Mom in early October and I can't tell you how I am dealing with it or some days it feels like not dealing with it. The main thing is you try to take it one day at a time.

As for being away at school you need to deal with your grieving the way your going to deal with it. If that is going to be sad and crying back in your room then so be it. If it is trying to go out with friends from time to time to cope then that is fine to. Only you can find the right touch to deal that until you get home.
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