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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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lido Offline
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Guilt - June 6th 2009, 05:43 AM

Well at my school in the last month or so we've had 2 suicides and 1 other attempt and they were all in the exact same place and last year I was suicidal but now I feel like somehow this is my fault. Like because I didn't kill myself one year ago the universe has been thrown into a tail spin of imbalance, like my school has become a necropolis and that all we're all doing is pretending to be alive, like the walking dead. I just feel really responsible, even though I didn't even really know any of the people that well.

people like you and me, it's our job to care it's all we know it's what we were created to do. Even if the people we care about weren't real or didn't know us, we just keep on caring anyway. That way we make sure a little piece of that person lingers on watching over us, like the heroes in our dreams like the stars in the sky.
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Jen Offline
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Re: Guilt - June 6th 2009, 08:45 PM

Hey there-
What an awful feeling for you to be carrying around. I am so sorry to hear about the suicides and so incredibly sorry to hear that you are blaming yourself for it. I used to always blame myself for things like that, for things that happen in the universe that maybe I could be linked to. Just try to remember that it's not possible for you to have caused this. Your (amazing) decision to not kill yourself is in no way linked to these suicides. Each person is responsible for their own life and their own fate, in that sense.

Someone also once mentioned to me that maybe the reason we blame ourselves for big things like this is because it is our nature to want to blame something, to find a reason for it. Blaming ourselves is hard but it's even scarier to think that things happen that we don't have control over. I don't know if that resonates with you at all--I think it's more of an unconscious blaming but it might be a piece of it.

You are not at fault here, okay? Take care of yourself and I'm here if you want to talk more about it.

"Do not ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

“if nothing changed, there’d be no butterflies”

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