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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Name: Achava Elah
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Exclamation It makes no sense at all... - June 13th 2009, 12:06 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of death or grieving, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

It makes no sense at all... in about 3 weeks it'll have been a year since when my Grandma died of 2 heart attacks and other stuff...

She died on her 78th birthday. July 5 2008.

I keep having random nightmares, of her coming back, and it scares the crap out of me since I KNOW that she is gone, I KNOW that she isn't still alive. I KNOW it is impossible. But it scares me.

I don't even have my best friend here to help me with it. He is at camp... just like last year... he was gone when I needed him the most... oh well..

It still feels like, surreal. Like, it has just happened again.... Why is this? I mean, i was sad for a month or so, like crying everyday, and I was completely up until today, after two nights ago I had a night mare that she was alive again, and I KNEW that she was gone... Why is this happening to me? Everyone else has like, moved on, but I am left with random nightmares, and now I don't want to sleep at all cause I am scared that I'll have another nightmare....

And I still feel bad that I wasn't able to visit her, I was on that stupid trip with church, and my mom didn't want to have me worried, I KNEW I should have brought my effing phone, but I didn't want my mom to call... I found out once I got home, and then that NIGHT SHE DIED AND I DIDN'T GET TO SEE HER! I never got to ask her to fill out a family tree, NEVER! She was the only one who knew all of that stuff for sure...

I guess help? PLease, I feel so guilty still that I didn't get to see her....

"Others say there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I just say Crud, there isn't... I'm stuck in this stupid revolving door..." -Me
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eunoia Offline
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Re: It makes no sense at all... - June 20th 2009, 06:38 PM

Hey there, Achava.

I'm really sorry for the late response to your thread. It seems to have been lost in the forum, but I hope that I can at least be of a little help, even late.

Losing a loved one is so tragic. I cannot imagine losing my own grandma, it must be so hard for you, Achava. The anniversary of a loved one's loss can be really hard to cope with. I hope, during this time, you have someone to lean on, like your family and friends.

Nightmares are very hard to cope with. Have you tried talking to a doctor or therapist about the nightmares you have been having? Sometimes just talking about them can be very helpful, you know?

Although your best friend isn't there, who else can you talk to? Maybe, also, you can write him a letter about everything that is going on. Sometimes writing our feelings helps, too, and he could always write back.

Please know that TH is always here for you, that includes me. I'm just a PM away. Take care.

Someday I will be strong enough to lift not one but both of us.
I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
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Re: It makes no sense at all... - June 27th 2009, 12:37 AM

I know you're having a hard time, you may be having nightmares because you're dwelling on the facts that she's gone, it may even be that you feel guilty for not seeing her. Maybe you can talk to your parents about how you're feeling, it might make you feel better to go and take flowers to her gravesite and sit and remember her. It may seem impossible to do but celebrate her life instead of her death and reach out to your family members and let them know you're having a hard time with this.

"When it comes down to it I let them think what they want, if they care enough to bother with what I do then I'm already better than them." Marilyn Monroe.
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makes, sense

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