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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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R.I.P. Mom - July 1st 2009, 04:00 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of death or grieving, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

My mom passed away and its almost been a year. She passed away painfully on July 2nd, 2008. She had COPD which you get from smoking cigarettes and she had heart and lung problems. My mom was the best person in my eyes she was an RN and i've been wanting to follow in her steps since before pre-k. So far succeeding, but its a hard long road and its hard for her not to be there by my side or asking her for help. My dad is emotionally shut down we hardly talk at all since she passed. My mom wasn't just my mom she was my best friend and still is. The morning she passed she gave me a sign saying she is ok my whole room lost power for ten minutes and the rest of the house had nothing wrong my dad tryied to flip off the breaker and back on but still nothing.... I know its okay to still feel like crap and cry often but it really hurts and so much has happened since she has been gone.
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Re: R.I.P. Mom - July 1st 2009, 04:51 AM

Hey Daina,

I'm so sorry that you lost your mom like that. But it sounds like she is still there, like moms typically refuse to stop being no matter what, to look out for you. Any time you want to talk or just need a virtual hug or anything, feel free to PM me, okay?


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Re: R.I.P. Mom - July 2nd 2009, 10:07 AM

Hey Daine,

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. It seems like you were so close with your mum and she was very special. You will always miss her because after all she was your mum. It will hurt lots but hopefully in time that hurt will become a bit less and you will be able to think about your mum without feeling so much hurt. You will never forget your mum of course but it can hurt less in time. I have lost my mum so I do know to an extent what it feels like. It is a horrible thing to go through but I guess shit happens.

It must make things extra difficult with your dad for you to hardly not talk after losing your mum. That is kind of like you have lost your dad as well. Have you ever thought about trying to improve your relationship with your dad? It might just help to have that extra support from him. However, it is up to you.

I think you are making your mum proud by fighting through all this. It will be difficult at times but you are strong. I hope today goes ok for you because I know anniversaries can be really difficult days to get through. If you ever need anything you are more than welcome to PM me. Stay strong :-)
   
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Re: R.I.P. Mom - July 3rd 2009, 03:58 AM

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Originally Posted by JenJen View Post
Hey Daine,

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. It seems like you were so close with your mum and she was very special. You will always miss her because after all she was your mum. It will hurt lots but hopefully in time that hurt will become a bit less and you will be able to think about your mum without feeling so much hurt. You will never forget your mum of course but it can hurt less in time. I have lost my mum so I do know to an extent what it feels like. It is a horrible thing to go through but I guess shit happens.

It must make things extra difficult with your dad for you to hardly not talk after losing your mum. That is kind of like you have lost your dad as well. Have you ever thought about trying to improve your relationship with your dad? It might just help to have that extra support from him. However, it is up to you.

I think you are making your mum proud by fighting through all this. It will be difficult at times but you are strong. I hope today goes ok for you because I know anniversaries can be really difficult days to get through. If you ever need anything you are more than welcome to PM me. Stay strong :-)
I try with my dad and I do in way think I lost him too. He is emotionally shut down, well shut down period except going back and forth to work and doing his job so we don't go homeless. I go to the store, cook, clean, etc... I've taken care of my mom since I was 10 but i didn't ever think after my mom passed he couldn't take care of himself ( he can but he's out of it mom was his soul). Today was a major hit for both of us he requested the day off and I didn't go to my summer school today and we sat and cried all day and slept and now I'm calmed down so checking emails etc.., start cooking I know my dad hasn't eaten all day either. I'm trying to stay strong. Mom gave me the strength to fight; I quit smoking, started exercising with a diet lost a lot of weight, kickin my butt in gear to graduate over the summer, things like that i wouldn't have done and really couldn't since i was 14 someone had to be home at all times.. Or at least have a trusting nurse. Like I said today just really really hit hard.

Last edited by daina_aka_buffy_1989; July 3rd 2009 at 04:00 AM. Reason: misspelled words
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Re: R.I.P. Mom - July 4th 2009, 09:21 PM

Hey Daina (:

I know how hard it is to lose a parent. Anniversaries tend to unearth a lot of intense emotions that are buried just below the surface. It is easy to feel lost during your teen years especially if you've lost a parent who was such an important role model. Even though it is hard I know you are strong enough to achieve your goals even without her physical presence. I believe your mother is still with you spiritually and it might help you to try and draw strength and guidance from her memory. I also think it might be a good idea to really explain to your father how his emotional absence effects you. A lot of the time people get so wrapped up in their own grief that they forget about the people around them who are suffering too. I know when my dad died I felt like there was no one who I could talk to about it. Every time I tried to bring it up things got so awkward that I'd quickly drop the subject. If you ever need someone to talk to about this or anything else PM me anytime. I want to be there for you if you'll let me. Take care and hang in there.

Lots of love <3 Mimi



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Re: R.I.P. Mom - July 13th 2009, 10:01 AM

Aww Daina I am so sorry to hear about your mom I know how it is its been 6 years this October since my dad passed. The first year is usally the worst it gets better over times, your still have times where you wanna give up but just remember she would want you to keep going and live your life the best you could never ever give up and know shes always in your heart and memories leading you and helping you make it through this PM if you wanna talk<3


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