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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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Lisa111 Offline
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Aunt died... almost... - July 12th 2009, 02:57 AM

It's not like she was a distant relative. She lived down the street my whole life. She was amusing, and stubborn. Not like a "stares at you with a polite smile as you finish your rant about government conspiracies" adult. She actually held conversations with me.

She was misdiagnosed with MRSA, and, because of the doctors' incompetence, she is in a coma and will die any minute. And, in response to this whole situation, my only coherent thought is, "I told her to go to the other hospital..."

And, "I'm never going to trust a doctor with my life again..."
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eunoia Offline
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Re: Aunt died... almost... - July 12th 2009, 07:41 AM

Hey, Lisa.

I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am. I definitely understand what you mean about the type of adult she is--my own aunt is, and always has been, very similar. It sounds like your aunt really means a lot to you and although nothing I say could possibly make this time an easier one for you, I do hope you will reach out to your friends and family. You do not have to be alone in your grief; you never have to be alone.

It can be difficult when a loved one is ill or passing to find someone to "blame." The truth is, though, that there may not be anyone to blame. I think, sometimes, we find it easier to cope with things when we can rationalize them. In looking for answers, we believe that holding people responsible for something tragic will make us feel better. Anger, though... anger doesn't feel good. Instead, Lisa, try to make now a peaceful time in your life. Cherish the memories you have of your aunt and enable yourself to look back on her last days and smile; I'm sure that is what she would want.

Please know that TeenHelp is always here for you, and that definitely includes me. I'm just a quick PM away. Take good care of yourself, yeah?

Someday I will be strong enough to lift not one but both of us.
I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
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Lisa111 Offline
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Re: Aunt died... almost... - July 12th 2009, 03:21 PM

I don't think you understand. I'm completely fine. Don't feel a thing. It's others that I have problems with. The funeral, the crying, the hugging, the "You were so close to her, are you sure you're alright?" Every time someone dies, everyone else has this new outlook on life, where they want to cherish everyone who's still alive. This involves a lot of sympathetic feelings, and teary-eyed smiles, and touching... I can't stand it!
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soul Offline
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Re: Aunt died... almost... - July 16th 2009, 07:44 PM

Hey Lisa (:

After my dad died I felt like I was being smothered with concern. I wanted to avoid people just so I could go 30 minutes without a heartfelt word of advice, a too tight hug, or a pitying look. It can be hard to deal with all the grief that surrounds you after a loss like this but you have to try and understand that everyone mourns in their own way. You and I might want to keep to ourselves and deal with things more independently. However, others might feel the need to reach out and both depend on and rely on the people who share their pain. As long as you're doing okay with the way you're handling things then I don't see anything wrong with it. Just keep in mind that it is okay to let other people care about you and try to help now and then. You might want to let the people around you know that you want some space to come to terms with this. That way so you don't have to feel so overwhelmed by everyone anymore. I can tell your aunt was very special to you by the way you described her. It is so hard to lose someone who had such a positive effect on your life. If you do every feel like you want some help getting through this then I'm here for you. Regardless of whether you're fine with what happened or not it might help to talk and I'd be more than happy to listen. I hope things get easier for you soon. Take care and don't forget I'm here if you need me.

Lots of love<3 Mimi

As long as we can dream, there will be unicorns.
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