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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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don't know what else to do - July 25th 2009, 07:28 AM

my dad passed away almost 13 years ago and i'm still grieving for him. i'm so fed up of it. will it ever stop? i've done everything: councilling, groups, writing, talking. i'm just so fed up of feeling this way. i just got off my anti-depressants after being on them for 4 years and i don't want to go back on them. i don't want this to controll my life, keep ruining my relationships and keep me down. i'm just so fed up of this.
   
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Re: don't know what else to do - July 26th 2009, 05:33 PM

Hey there,

I'm sure you've heard it before: we all grieve differently. That means for some of us grief lasts longer. For others it is shorter. Some of us cry longer while others are more angry.

You seem to have tried, in a lot of ways, to make peace with the loss of your dad. I cannot imagine how painful it must have been to lose your dad at such a young age. It's understandable that growing up without him has affected you in a lot of ways and that you still struggle with his loss.

I'm just some random person you don't even know online, but I'm guessing that at least a part of what you struggle with is no longer having your dad there with you. It can be hard to live your life, even to achieve things, while wondering "what if...?" I know your dad cannot be there with you, to celebrate things, or even just to give you a hug. But I do think, in some ways, your dad can always be there with you. If you carry him in your heart he never has to be gone, you know?

Try to live in ways that would make him proud and in ways that make you proud. You will always have a dad and he will always love you; he just can't be with you.

Take care and let me know if you need anything; I'm just a quick PM away.



Someday I will be strong enough to lift not one but both of us.
I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
   
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Re: don't know what else to do - July 28th 2009, 06:17 AM

I have taken up some of his hobbies, which I enjoying doing as well. I've cleaned up his old fish tank and I started volunteering, I know he did that a lot. I'm the first in my immediate family to go to university right after high school, and I know he would be proud. It just makes me miss him more because I can't share it with him. I have made a lot of mistakes in the past and the thought that he'd be disappointed in me really hurts. It just ticks me off that it's taking so long to get through this.
   
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