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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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TakeTheLeap Offline
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Name: Emily
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Virginia

Posts: 1,309
Join Date: January 5th 2009

RIP GrandPop - August 5th 2009, 04:44 AM

This morning at about 7:45 (August 4th), my mom got a call from her brother - he left a message saying it was serious and to call back as soon as possible.
Yesterday, my grandfather was supposed to have a valve replacement surgery. They had been putting it off for a little while because of his emphysema and diabetes. His kidney function went below 15% yesterday, so they were talking about putting him on dialysis before proceeding with the surgery. They didn't do it. GrandPop went into cardiac last night, just before midnight.
I'm having the worst time coping with it all... I've been on the verge of tears all day long, after the initial hour or so of just crying and crying. I haven't seen anyone on my mom's side of the family for 8 years now. It makes it so hard, because I barely remember what he looked like. Now, if I can even get up to NJ for the funeral (which may or may not happen, depending on a few things), the only face I'll remember is that pale, cold face of death. As a kid, my family was only able to get up to visit the family up north once, maybe twice a year. I wish I could remember more about him, but it's just so hard to.

My grandma had a stroke about 7 years ago and has been left wheelchair bound because of partial paralysis. But... She was a fighter, she always held on, because of GrandPop. My mom and her brothers and sisters are SO worried that she's just not going to hold on any longer. I can't take losing them both. Neither can my mom, aunts, and uncles. It's too much all at once.
I'm scared to death about what's going to happen from here. I don't even know if I'll be able to go up for the funeral because of work and because we have pets that need to be taken care of (and I'm the most responsible of the 3 kids).

I've been dealing with a lot of stress this summer. There have been various other times when I just felt like banging my head against the wall. I'm getting to the point where I just can't take much more. I need help. I need a way to cope with all of this. I need freedom from pain and stress, if only for a little while. I need... peace.

“Don't get too comfortable with who you are at any given time. You may miss the opportunity to become who you want to be." ~Jon Bon Jovi

  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Casey. Offline
Dance with me
I can't get enough
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Name: Casey
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: Somewhere in my mind

Posts: 2,343
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Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: RIP GrandPop - August 7th 2009, 06:47 AM

I'm so sorry about your loss Emily. I know that doesn't even began to cover it. There really are no words for what you are going through. I know how hard it is to lose someone, it's not the easiest thing in the world.

My grandfather died when I was younger. I have trouble remembering his face, but we have pictures. Maybe, if your grandma has a few recent pictures of him, you could take one, so that you can remember him when he was alive.

I really don't know what to say, I'm at a lost for words here. I don't think there really are any words that I can say to make things all better. I wish it was that simple though.

If you need someone to talk to my pm box is always open.Take care of yourself Emily, TH is always here for you.

She whispered to her own reflection "I will be strong."

"I am not what has happened to me.I am what I have chosen to become."- Carl Jung

"If ye harm none, do as ye wish."

Sometimes things just happen.

Smile through the tears.

PM me

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AshtrayHeart Offline
Human Wreckage
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Name: Jess.
Age: 27
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Location: Suffolk, England.

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Join Date: July 11th 2009

Re: RIP GrandPop - August 8th 2009, 09:33 AM

I'm so sorry about your loss, but stick together as a family and you'll be able to get through this. Could you not ask for some time off at work? and your grandma just like i said stick together as a family maybe spend a holiday up there, look after each other.

'Cause there's no pride to be found when you follow sheep around..

<3 15/3/09 <3
11 months, I love you.
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grandpop, rip

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