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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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Late emotions? - August 13th 2009, 01:06 AM

Hey =/
I recently lost my grandmother to colon cancer, a few days before this past Christmas. It's really been starting to hit me though in the last couple days.. I never delt with these emotions. I cried once, which was at the funeral, and I did not go to her burial.. Do I regret it? yes.

I remember the very last time I held her hand, I don't think it clicked with her of who I was because of all the medications and such she was on. She chose to just let the cancer run its course and not do chemo.. I don't know why now it's hitting me that she's gone.. and I really just don't know what to do :[


Be soft.
   
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Re: Late emotions? - August 14th 2009, 04:27 AM

Many people do not feel the immediate emotions when a loved one passes due to it being such a shock to the mind. What's important now is to talk to someone, anyone, a person in your family, a counselor, or even us to process how you feel so you can express your grief and begin recovery.
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Re: Late emotions? - August 18th 2009, 08:19 PM

Hey Liz (:.
There are many people who have these 'late emotions'. Simply because you realize its actually happen perhaps. Its normal for you to feel this way so dont be afraid of talking to any one about how you feel. I cant imagine how hard it must be for you to lose your grand mother. People are there for you. It could be a parent, someone in the family, a family friend, A teacher, A school nurse, or you could talk to your doctor and get councilling. They all want to help you, and you only have to talk to someone you wish to.
I hope you feel better soon!
-Jess


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Re: Late emotions? - August 18th 2009, 08:30 PM

Hey there lover;

Late emotions are normal, they're a part of grieving. Everyone handles it differently and so far, you've been handling it so good.

I hate that you feel like this, and I hope that you can work your way through these feelings safely and effectively. I don't like seeing such a sweet girl hurting that badly. You know I'm always here to talk to, anytime I'm just a PM away!

<3
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Re: Late emotions? - August 18th 2009, 10:22 PM

It's just really frusturating for me because when I think about her, Dyl, you know I think about other people as well.

I've been through and still dealing with alot of other deaths that have happened recently and are starting to pile up. I feel like i'm suffocated by it and when I get frustruated, I get.. idk the right word. Just really upset, everythings heightened

I just dont want to hurt anymore :[ I used to self harm to control things and i'm still trying to find other ways but when I thinkof death it gets so hard..


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Re: Late emotions? - August 19th 2009, 03:56 AM

I really, really think you should talk it over with someone. Don't do what I did, letting the feelings rot within you until it changes you. I never talked to someone about my best friend's death and it fermented into so many things.

Good luck. Really. I vaguely remember talking to you before the board went down, I really hope you do okay.


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Re: Late emotions? - August 26th 2009, 06:57 PM

its okay that it didnt hit you until later, maybe you didnt see her every week or daily or anything so you really wouldnt notice anything different. but i dont know, but just know she is watching over you and wants you to be happy. talk to her, she is listening. when you want to cry, cry. cry to her. she'll help. message me if you need to talk =] good luck
   
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Re: Late emotions? - August 27th 2009, 12:24 AM

Hey Liz<3

Dealing with the death of a loved on is undoubtably one of the hardest things to do. Sometimes it takes awhile to process a pain that big and there is nothing abnormal about that. Now that these emotions revolving around what happened are arising within you, you're going to want to deal with them or things won't be able to get any better. I'm not saying facing this is going to be easy but you can do it if you try. Reach out to someone you trust and let them support you through this. You don't have to make this any harder on yourself by trying to go through this alone. I'm sure there are people who care about you and want to help you. If you need someone to talk to you can PM me anytime and I'll do my best. Talking about this can help a lot more than you might think. Give someone a chance to help you. Take care and hang in there. You can make it through this.

Lots of love<3 Mimi



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Re: Late emotions? - September 5th 2009, 06:59 AM

I lost my cousin around the same time and it also didn't hurt until months later, I'm still sore from it. I don't know how some of my family seems to have moved on or they're just not talking about it. It triggered numerous other feelings and fears in my life as well. First time I ever really had to deal with death, plus never knew how young people could die before. What I'm trying to say is, late emotions is normal.
   
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Re: Late emotions? - September 5th 2009, 06:06 PM

Hey Liz,
Different people deal with grief in different ways.
Some let it all out and deal with it in the moment and others just ride it out and eventually things hit them.
Other people don't get affected by grief at all.
It's just one of those things that can't be explained.
It's okay that you're dealing with things in your own way.
Liz, have you thought about speaking to your mum and dad and letting them know how you're feeling.
Try and look at things that remind you of your grand-mother, try to find nice memories, it's always good to think about the good times rather than the bad, okay it hurts to do so but it's all part of the process. When I was seeing my counsellor she told me to make a memories book or box. We went with the book idea and it really helped me.
I just wrote down the way I was feeling, what I would say if I was speaking to my grandad, I would draw in there and afterwards it gave me something real to hold onto and gave me something I could go back and look through whenever I needed to.

Maybe you could think about that or an alternative, maybe a memory box with loads of photos, birthday cards, things that just remind you of your grand-mother, a favourite perfume of hers, favourite flowers, even pictures of things that remind you of her can help.
It means when you are feeling down and you're thinking of her you can look through all these things and it will cheer you up.
Write poems, put all this sadness, pain and anger into something constructive.
If you're arty paint or draw, get everything down so you can see it.
It really helped me getting everything down and in the open and it was good when I was just sad and wanted to reflect on things a little.

Pm me anytime if you just want to speak about things, Paige x
   
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