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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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Bibliophile Offline
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I can't help thinking she should be here. - January 20th 2009, 03:05 PM

Right now its like part of me has gone.
A close family friend,what,a week ago.
And my mother,all those years ago.
I can't help thinking she should be here,for my 16th.
I miss them.
Where has that part of me gone?
   
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Jess-10 Offline
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Re: I can't help thinking she should be here. - January 20th 2009, 04:48 PM

Mariesh.... branch branch leaf!

I'm sorry for you're loss hun. I'm here if need an ear or a shoulder. Text, call or pm me anytime hun. You're not alone.
Jess xox
   
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Re: I can't help thinking she should be here. - January 21st 2009, 11:54 AM

i know it's hard. be strong.
things will turn out okay
your here for a reason
we all are <3
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Re: I can't help thinking she should be here. - January 21st 2009, 06:42 PM

aww, i'm so sorry that you lost your mother. If you ever need to talk, please feel free to PM me.


You are beautiful just the way you are.
Looking like a fallen star.
Don't listen to what people say.
They don't know the real you, anyways.
   
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Re: I can't help thinking she should be here. - January 21st 2009, 06:51 PM

Marie,

I know youíve heard it before, but Iím so sorry for your losses. Death, no matter our age, can affect us in profound ways. It can leave you feeling lost and alone. It seems youíre feeling those things, due to the loss of your mom and a close family friend. Even though you lost your mom years ago, there is no time line for grief.

Please know that you arenít alone. When it feels impossible, when you feel close to giving up, when it seems like no one in the world could understand, reach out to others. Ask for their support, or just to talk. Sometimes a companion is more than we could have hoped for, and talking to someone about how weíre feeling fills a little hole in us. Iím so glad you decided to postóitís a step in the right direction.

I know how hard it is, to cope with loss. I want you to know that it is okay to feel that it is unfair. But I hope youíll take time to remember your lost loved ones for the good they brought to your life. You can never make new memories with them, and that is tragic. But the memories you have with and of them are yours to keep, forever. Nothing can take that from youónot time, not death, and no person. If you think it may help, make memory books of your mom and your family friend. You can write in them, draw pictures, tape things in, or do whatever youíd like.

Personally, I think itís perfectly okay to talk to lost loved ones. I believe that they can hear usóbut even if you donít, know that it is still okay to speak to them, out loud. I donít know what it feels like to have a birthday without my mom. I canít even imagine how hard it must be. Youíre very strong. If it helps, talk to your mom about how your birthday went. Let her know that you missed her. And maybe, as a present to yourself for your birthday, spend some time feeling carefree. When I want to feel free, I lay outside and look at the stars. I find it humbling to stare into something so large as the sky, to look at something so small as a star in the sky and know that miles and miles away, itís bigger than I can imagine. I donít know if that makes any sense, but maybe it does.

I think when the people we love die, we lose a part of ourselves. That is the part I think of as infiniteness; as the feeling that all young people have that they are unbreakable. When someone we love passes, we realize that no one lives foreveróthat no one is eternal. Weíre only human. We are fragile, breakable; weíre made of souls and of feelings and sometimes we can hurt so badly that life seems to be insignificant. I donít think we can ever get that piece of ourselves back. But I donít think that means we have to live with holes in our souls forever.

I donít really believe that everything happens for a reason. Some things hurt too badólike people dying. But I think we can learn from everything, I think that every life experience is a chance to grow. Through heartache and pain we become stronger, we learn what it is inside of us that keeps us going, and we eventually are able to remember our loved ones and feel an absolute calmness surround us. One day, although I donít know when, it will be easier.

Remember that no matter how alone you feel, youíre never truly alone. And talk, donít ever stop talking. Let me know if there is anything I can do.



Someday I will be strong enough to lift not one but both of us.
I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
   
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Re: I can't help thinking she should be here. - January 22nd 2009, 04:23 AM

Marie.

i know you've went through a lot.. however, there's a few things i'm going to say over here..

firstly, the ones you love.. never, and i mean NEVER, truly leave. they're going to watch over you.. blessing your every move. No matter what happens, they'll be in your heart forever.. so that part, i TRULY believe, has never truly went at all. i know you miss them badly.. and its going to be hard to deal with. however, you can be VERY VERY sure they're high up there blessing your every move. that i'm very sure.

besides that, i would like to add that no matter what happens, you've all of us for support and strength. Whenever you feel down or in case there's any day that doesnt exactly go well.. you know you can talk to us You can count on us..because we dont want people or anyone to feel sad.. so yeah.. you can count on us

up to talk to in case there's anything !


Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

we come, we help, we stick and never leave. pm me anytimeee!

Official member of the completely Unofficial free hugs Club !

I'm firing mah Hugs!
   
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