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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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Nope Offline
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My 3 friends were hit by a drunk driver. - August 21st 2009, 12:34 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of death or grieving, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Sorry I haven't been on in a bajillion years, but I'm having a tough time right now. I need help and advice.

A week ago I found out that 3 of my friends who are a year older than me were driving from the movies and were hit by a drunk driver. The driver, my friend Jason (who I had a crush on freshman year) died instantly from a broken neck, broken spine, and a severe concussion. My friend Ann, who was in the passenger seat died by the time the police and EMS got there. And my friend in the back seat, Amelia, the one I was closest to, was taken off of life support yesterday.

All the drunk driver got was a broken arm. A F%$&ING BROKEN ARM.

He KILLED MY FRIENDS! And all he got was a broken arm! I WANT TO KILL HIM!

He's going to court soon to hear his sentence. I hope he gets life in prison. Or better, the death sentence.

Those 3 were great kids. Straight A students, very popular, very athletic, and such great friends.

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Re: My 3 friends were hit by a drunk driver. - August 21st 2009, 03:45 AM

Hey Audrey

I'm really sorry to hear about what happened to your friends, it's terrible to lose someone close to you, and you lost 3.

I know how it feels to lose someone to a drunk driver, 3 years ago I lost my step mother to a drunk driver, he was also just fine. It doesn't feel fair that someone close to you should have to die because of the mistake of another, when that other person comes out of it pretty well clean.

I do share your hope that this man is brought to justice, 3 people had to pay for his choice to drink and drive, there is nothing right or fair about that. However, I doubt that him getting life in prison or the death penalty will make you feel better. It may feel like "him getting what he deserves" will somehow make the situation seem more right, but it won't bring your friends back. And, if he were to get the death penalty, then not just 3 lives, but 4, will be lost.

Try to think of it this way, no matter what the punishment for this man turns out to be, he will live with the guilt of what he has done. That's a harsh punishment as is.

I hope things start to improve for you, and if you ever need anything or want to talk, feel free to PM me anytime and I'll do my best to help out.

~Where death is I am not, where I am death is not, so we never meet~

I'd rather die terrified

than live forever.
We will all die so gloriously, that having ever lived will seem like folly.

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Re: My 3 friends were hit by a drunk driver. - August 21st 2009, 06:27 PM

i'm so sorry to hear this.
the best thing we can do is just not to be upset.
i know it's impossible to not be upset when friends die.
but they wouldn't want you grieving over their death.
they would want you celebrating and remember the life that they lived.
think about the memories with them and just remember that they would want you to not be upset.
i know what it's like to lose a friend.
he hit a tree, and went flying through the windshield.
died instantly.
try putting up a memorial or a remberance where it happened.
they way when you pass it, you will always think about them.
get your friends to go to the crash site, and just have time with them in rememberance.
i'm very sorry to hear about this. /:

When you can't find your way home,
and when life gets too hard to face on your own.
I will stand as a light through the darkness unknown,
I will walk with you, so you're never alone.
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