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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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delilah Offline
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I'm worried. - August 30th 2009, 08:33 AM

I know this sounds paranoid, and a little superstitious, but I'm very worried.

My boyfriend has had 7 close friends or family members die and 1 with cancer (that they survived) just within the past 12 months, that's not including before we started dating, when his best friend committed suicide. It's also not including his two close calls with death himself (twice he has literally been 2 minutes away from death and would not have survived had he been 2 minutes later to the hospital/ambulance).

I dream about him dying in a car accident, and i worry myself sick over him dying freakishly like everyone else around him seems to. He is been in hospital 4 times in the past year and a half we've been together. Both times he has meant to meet me and hasn't come, it's because he was rushed to hospital in an ambulence.. so now when he doesn't return my calls i feel like he is probably dying somewhere.

It's really stupid, just because he has lost a lot of people in his life, does not mean he is going to die, but I can't help but feel like I'm just biding my time. He is a healthy person, and minus the person with cancer every other death they have been healthy, and it's been a freak accident (death during birth, death from a car accident, death from drowning.. the list goes on).

I seriously worry myself, at least once a day I sit there and think, i hope he's still alive. I don't know how to explain it any better then this.. when you hear a friend got pregnant, or you know someone who died.. you sometimes think "Wow that actually could happen to me, or that actually happens to people I know.. adn it becaomes a lot more real"... well when that sort of thing happens 10+ times in just under two years.. we're talking something at that level nearly every second or third month.. it just starts to feel like everyone that i know and he knows drops like flies.. and i get so scared he is going to be next.

ugh i just needed to talk about it. he's tried to kill himself before, and he is on anti-depressants as it is, i just wish whoever it is up there that decides when it's time for people to go. would give him and his family a break for a while.
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Larrinda Offline
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Re: I'm worried. - September 3rd 2009, 05:59 AM

Yes I wish that we could just ask God to give us more time with the ones we love and he would.
My grandmother died in April and she was the first person close to me to ever die. I lived with her for my entire life just her and I.
I hate death I really do but what I can tell you is that make sure you just have faith that whatever God you pray to will keep him safe and if he goes it was his time.
I hated God forever. I told that guy that if he took her away id never pray again and for a long time I couldnt even be in a room when someone was praying.

I will pray for him and you too. I am sure he doesnt wanna lose you either.
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Darrenboy! Offline
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Re: I'm worried. - September 6th 2009, 08:33 AM


i understand that there is a lot of loss going on. But you have to stay strong. i believe that he's going to be alright, and he's going to have someone to help him i know that you will help him, and the fact that you're soo concernced about him , makes you a really good girlfriend yourself . so yea.. no matter what happens, stick by him. its definitely not easy for him to deal with everything thats happening, and definitely hard on him because losing loved ones is never easy.

i know that all this is truly hard on you as well, but never lose hope i believe that he'll be alright. i TRULY believe that the both of you are going to be together as a happy couple for a really,really long time , so stick by it. and never lose faith. got it..

and did i mention that you should stick by him? you're a really wonderful girlfriend, and you should be proud of yourself for caring this much. just needed to remind you

caring always.

Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

we come, we help, we stick and never leave. pm me anytimeee!

Official member of the completely Unofficial free hugs Club !

I'm firing mah Hugs!
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hopefaithlove Offline
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Re: I'm worried. - September 7th 2009, 06:31 PM

Me and your boyfriend sound very similar, and I definitely have the same worries as you. You just have to live for the moment and NEVER take anything or anyone for granted. Everything happens from a reason, and every difficult experience makes you stronger. Try and stay positive, and if you're religious, pray!

PM me anytime since I know what you're boyfriend is going through.

There is always hope. PM me anytime.
SH Free since 10.20.08
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