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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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I really need advice. (Can't think of a title) - August 31st 2009, 12:12 AM

Basically, like last month my Grandad died, and It's a really hard thing to get over obviously, I can't go one day without thinking about him atleast once, and I know It's probably a good thing I still think about him, but even though I know he's gone and isn't coming back, I still can't jam it into my head that I can Never talk or see him again, I mean, well I can talk to him through Prayer or In my head probably.

I want to be able to get over this though, I have no idea how either, I'm sure there's something I have to do, because since the day he died It's like It's troubling me and, there's always those sayings when people die or before they die they must fulfill something? Well maybe It's something like that, what I must do? I hope that made sense, I really have no idea why I can't get this into my head.

I can't really walk past the graveyard he was buried in now without being really scared, I really need help and advice out this, please.


Thank you for reading this. xXx
Callum.


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Re: I really need advice. (Can't think of a title) - August 31st 2009, 01:12 AM

Hey Callum,

I am very sorry to hear about your grandad. Of course it is a very hard thing to get through. Losing someone so close I think is one of the hardest things you go through in life. Your grandad was obviously a very special person in your life and it isn't something you will just get over just like that. It takes time to grieve and move on from what has happened. You will never forget him but hopefully in time it will hurt less and you will be able to look back and remember all the happy memories you shared with your grandma. Even though he is not physically with you he will be watching over you and be proud of you to be fighting through this. Just remember no one can ever take away the memories you have of your grandad. Hold these memories close and when you feel sad remind yourself of all the good times you spent together.


It was only a month ago and there is so set amount of time it takes to grieve over a loved one. Everyones experience is different but Callum you will get through it; you are strong.

Do you have any close family members who might be feeling similar to you? If so you should try talking to them. More than likely they are missing your grandad too so it would be good to share your feelings with someone close who will be able to relate to how you are feeling right now and hopefully support you through it.

You are never alone with this Callum. If you ever need someone to talk then my PM box is always open Stay strong.
   
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Re: I really need advice. (Can't think of a title) - August 31st 2009, 01:22 AM

Thanks for the help and It doesn't feel anyone in my family does feel the same way as I've talked to a few of them and well, they do say they miss him, obviously. But I can't even go one day without thinking about him, others do think about him, but it's not as much as me I guess. I believe I probably will get over this in time but for now I guess I'll have to cope with it.
Your response made a tear trickle down my face, It was a tear of remembering my Grandad but at the same time, how much some people can care and help you, even without knowing a thing about you. So thank you.

Cazzum. x


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Re: I really need advice. (Can't think of a title) - August 31st 2009, 01:52 AM

I am glad I helped

It does make it so much harder when people around you don't seem to miss the person you have lost as much as you do. But you never know how much others are thinking about your grandad. For all you know they could be thinking about him lots more than you know but you never really know unless people say. Some people don't like to admit how they really feel because they are scared they will hurt other people and many other reasons. So you never really know.

You don't have to cope with alone though Callum. Everyone here will support you through it and I am always here because I care If you think it is really affecting you then perhaps you should see a counsellor or something? It might be something to consider if you don't feel able to move on on your own. However, I know it is only very early days and you must be so jumbled up right now and feeling so many different emotions that it is difficult to think straight.

I just had a thought you could try writing a letter to your grandad explaining how you feel. It might help to get out some of the things you are feeling right now. It is always good to let out your emotions. But then again you might feel like writing a letter will increase all the hurt and everything you feel right now. It is up to you.

You can get through this Callum. You are ever so strong to have got this far. Keep on going
   
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Re: I really need advice. (Can't think of a title) - August 31st 2009, 02:23 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JenJen View Post
I just had a thought you could try writing a letter to your grandad explaining how you feel.
I really like the Idea of doing this, also I've been to his Grave around 5times since he's been gone, and I think everytime I've burst out in tears, I'm not sure, but I think I have. Maybe It would be a good idea to put the letter I write actually on his grave? I wish there were some way I could bury it at his grave but I can't really dig it up...
But I love the idea, thank you. x

Cazzum. x


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Re: I really need advice. (Can't think of a title) - September 1st 2009, 12:58 AM

my dad died when i was ten, and sometimes still i really want to talk to him, tell him things, have him say he's proud of me, you know? and i still can't go a day without thinking about him either. it's perfectly natural to dwell on it for a while. just don't let it destroy you. don't do or not do things just because "it's what he would have wanted", do what you want, and you are right, it does get better with time. i mean, i still miss him, but it doesn't ride up my every thought and feeling. it'll get better, i promise.
   
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Re: I really need advice. (Can't think of a title) - September 2nd 2009, 02:43 PM

Yeah, I'd love to be able to talk to my Grandad, and just even for a minute to tell him how much I miss him and for him to say something to me like "Make me a cup of tea?". Just something small like that, it would feel much better, but at the same time I'd be to scared to talk to him, say if it's possbile that people can appear as a "Ghost" or "Polterguiest" (I can't spell that word haha), but I'd be scared because, he's gone, and it wouldn't be natural, although i'd love to just talk to him, for a minute :/

Cazzum. x


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