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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Hear my whispers in the dark..
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Unhappy She's gone... - September 16th 2009, 12:21 AM

So I as at work yesterday, finishing up. I checked my phone really fast, and what I saw made me feel like someone just punched me in the stomach.
My friend, Marleea, had been riding on her motorcyle the day before when she got into an accident and was killed. She was 22. She left behind a husband and a 2 1/2 year old son.
I just can't believe it. We hadn't talked lately, since she lives in San Diego now and was in the army (her husband is in the army too), but we'd known each other basically since I was born, 20 years ago. She came to my birthday parties when I was younger, and I still have a journal she gave me, as well as pictures of her and I together. I'm still close to her brother, who is 3 days older than me.
I'm so sad, I feel like I will never stop hurting. I'm trying to be brave but I keep tearing up everytime I think about her. People keep asking if I'm okay, and I say "I'm fine", just because I don't know how to say that no, I'm not okay. I feel like my world just shattered. I take deaths very hard, no matter who it is. I was feeling sad anyway because on October 1st it will have been 4 years that my brother died. I don't know how to process death, so I just don't deal with it. But deep down my heart just aches over everything I've lost. I don't know what to do...
I miss her. I miss my brother. I'm just completely falling apart...


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
*Jen* Offline
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Re: She's gone... - September 17th 2009, 02:29 PM

Hey Jen,

I am so sorry to hear about this. It is so sad and you should let yourself cry; you never know you might feel a bit better after a good cry. You say you don't deal with it and not dealing with it will only mean it will come back to you at a later date. Jen you really need to allow yourself to grieve and come to terms with it because blocking it out doesn't help. People ask if you are ok because they care. You should tell them the truth so then they can help you and be there for you. You shouldn't keep it all to yourself.

Hold onto the happy memories you spent with your friend and brother. I bet there are many and when you feel sad you should try to remind yourself of these. Also even though they are not here with you, they will be watching over you and be proud of you for keeping on going.

If you ever need anything then I am always happy to listen. You can get through this, keep going. Stay strong
   
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Re: She's gone... - September 18th 2009, 04:05 AM

I know how it feels like to lose a loved one close to ur heart. i lost my nana who was my best friend to cancer. what was most disturbing about that was that i saw her in her final days and it was heart wrenching. that was 4 years ago. plz dont make the same mistake i did by shoving down all the feelings just to go on in life. it ended me up in depression, SH, and fights with family. i know how it feels to give up and want more than anyting to get them back. what i do is when i miss her, i look to the sky and start talking as if shes there. try it. it helps to make y feel like theyre less gone. im here for you. everyone is. plz pm me! i can help with anything. Good luck!
   
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Re: She's gone... - September 19th 2009, 03:48 PM

i no death and loss is hard. trust me. i no this. i lost my great grandmother to brain cancer when i was 5 and i new she was going to die about a month before anyone else did. and ive had to leave alot of people behind me until now and i no there will be more for me. im still greiving, but it does get better eventully. one of my best friends almost died last month, and as soon as she was able to ride a plane, her parents moved her out of the country. it hurts alot, i no. it may take some time, but things do get better after awile. when im angry at the world for all thats happened, i either beat my pillow, cry in rage and sorrow, read, write, or scream. it helps and i no you can get through this. there are different kinds of greiving over loss as well, but those tecniques can work for most of them. dont give up. message me if you need anything. i might be able to help. hang in there. you can hold on.

Last edited by Le Papillon; September 19th 2009 at 03:50 PM. Reason: huge typo
   
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Re: She's gone... - September 27th 2009, 10:11 PM

hi sweetie. talk to them. they ARE listening to everything you have to say. and will help you! i know how death is, its hard. and it never gets easier, in fact it gets harder. let me know if you ever ever need to talk, hang in there! <3
   
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