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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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xoJust_Juliaxo Offline
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Unhappy Hmm i need some advice for how to help my dad - January 24th 2009, 02:17 PM

Ok so this morning i wake up and learn that my dad's uncle paul passed away this morning . He is really upset because it reminds him of when my grandfather ( his dad) passed away. An i guess what i am trying to say is that i need advice on how to help him and how to help him cope. The horrible thing though is that he can't even go up to the funeral because we live in florida. I feel so bad for him and i just want to make things easier for him.




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Re: Hmm i need some advice for how to help my dad - January 24th 2009, 02:42 PM

Hey Julia.
First off I'm really sorry for the death of your great uncle Paul.
Secondly, people mourn in different ways. Some people just need a bit of space, need to be on their own and others enjoy the company of others to get their mind off things. I think the best way you can support your dad is being strong and just acting as normal as possible with the occasional "alright dad?" maybe thrown in. It's logical that your dad is going to be upset but just being there to support him is really going to help him through the first few days. Good luck and again my condolances. x


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Re: Hmm i need some advice for how to help my dad - January 24th 2009, 05:49 PM

Thanks. An yeah i have been asking him if he is alright , but he kinda of just sighs and walks away. So yeah and i am giving him space ... but what about after giving him space.... i mean this is like losing his dad all over again. See his uncle stopped taking his medication just like my grandfather (his dad ) did ... so it just makes my uncle passing away that much harder.




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Re: Hmm i need some advice for how to help my dad - January 25th 2009, 04:08 AM

I see what you mean... Have you tried talking to your dad at all? Like properly, making him a cup of tea and just having a chat? Sometimes laughing and remembering good times can really lift spirits. What really matters is letting your dad know that you are there for him and he doesn't have to hide his feelings from you. I'm sorry I can't be of much more help but thats all there really is to do in hard times like these. Stay strong! x


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Re: Hmm i need some advice for how to help my dad - January 27th 2009, 08:07 AM

Julia,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your great uncle. I would imagine that now is a sad time in your home and family.

I don't think there are any magical things we can do, for our loved ones, when they are faced with loss. We can be there for them to talk and to listen, we can offer the comfort of a hug, but we cannot ease their pain. The best thing you can do for your dad, right now, is to be there as he needs you. He will know when he needs you, and if he knows you are available to him, he will seek you out when the time is right, for him.

I think that some part of him is probably playing the protective role of father, still, even while he's hurting. He may feel he has to appear strong, for you or other family members. Let him know that you can, you will, you want to be there for him.

Also, remember to take care of yourself. Let me know if you need anything at all.



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