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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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ThePunkAlien Offline
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How long is this supposed to last? - October 16th 2009, 03:39 AM

Anyone that's been through grief how long does this process take? It's literally driving me insane. Floods begins, floods end, floods begin, floods end - can't it just end?! My cousin died last christmas, I went numb a couple of months after that. Then memories of losing my parents came flooding back along with that. I've been turning to drugs, alcohol, even started rubber band snapping for highs. It helps letting substances take rid of all of the pain of losing my cousin, memories of losing my parents (although I hate my father), plus a girl I thought I shared something with dumped me - harshly. so, yeah, it's all great.
   
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BDF Offline
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Re: How long is this supposed to last? - October 16th 2009, 05:09 PM

It goes away if you're just left in peace. But it never goes away for good. You just need something to tip the balance and it will all fall over again. Ive never had enough time to myself to get over it before something else kicked in, so I don't know how long it frankly takes.
   
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Re: How long is this supposed to last? - October 16th 2009, 06:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Josh View Post
Anyone that's been through grief how long does this process take? It's literally driving me insane. Floods begins, floods end, floods begin, floods end - can't it just end?! My cousin died last christmas, I went numb a couple of months after that. Then memories of losing my parents came flooding back along with that. I've been turning to drugs, alcohol, even started rubber band snapping for highs. It helps letting substances take rid of all of the pain of losing my cousin, memories of losing my parents (although I hate my father), plus a girl I thought I shared something with dumped me - harshly. so, yeah, it's all great.
It can last a long time depending on the person,while the memories never truly go away.someone i lost 5 years ago, the sadness has only just finally gone away,i can finally talk about her without crying but you still get those days where you cry about them.Im also more emotional than others so maybe it just took me longer.Even then the grief doesnt always go away you just have to accept it and keep going because the world wont stop for you and u will have wasted parts of your life just over grieving. Even though those substances help now its only a temporary resolution that will not last.Dont let these be your way to deal with the grief because in the end it will only make things worse,i promise you.
im not sure if i helped at all but i tried.
you can pm me any time if you want.


Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
Cut free since March 6th 2013
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Re: How long is this supposed to last? - October 17th 2009, 04:18 AM

I'm very sorry for your loss, Josh. I can't imagine how much it must have hurt to have lost your cousin.

To be completely honest, the grieving process is different for all people. For some it takes less time, for others more. Some go through certain stages, others don't. For me, I know that losing someone I loved was an extremely difficult thing. The void is still there, and at times it hurts more than anything. Time, talking and letting out what I've felt has helped for me a lot, though.

I'm not sure what you've all tried for yourself, but I think it's important that you try to reach out for some support and try to work on your feelings in a more positive way. You say that you've been turning to drugs, alcohol and rubber band snapping in means of dealing (or highs). Have you considered anything such as grief counseling or talking to family or friends about it instead? Talking is difficult, for sure, but I think that bottling it all up inside makes it all just so much more difficult. Feeling alone with thoughts and deep emotions can be extremely painful.

Another thing which you can try is to write about the things on your mind. Whether you write a rant journal, poems, stories or something where you can write letters to get out your thoughts and feelings -- it can help to have that positive release. Or, at least it has for me.

Either way, if you ever need to talk, my PM box is always open.

Take care.



∞ 1.16.07 ∞ 7.4.07 ∞ 9.16.08 ∞

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