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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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Mom - October 29th 2009, 06:13 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of death or grieving, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I put triggering just in case. February of this year, my mom was hospitalized for a brain aneurysm, she died a few days later. She was my best friend, along with being my mother. I miss her more than I can describe. I was the one who found her passed out on the kitchen floor, the last time I saw her was when the ambulance came. Sometimes I think she would be still alive if I had just stayed with her, instead of going into my room. I blame myself a lot. She was only 39.
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Re: Mom - October 29th 2009, 11:19 AM

words cant express how sorry i am to read that,
no one should have to experence that.
dont blame yourself those. its really not your fault. life is a serious of random events. you never could of known what was gonna happen. in times like these people always blame themselves, its natural. you have to remember that you couldnt of changed what happened. the best thing to do is remember the women your mom was, always keep her in your heart and just do your best to live your life, as impossible as that may seem. the pain will get easier to deal with in time. your mom wouldnt want you to feel guilty, she'd want you to learn and grow and be the best person you can be. shes always gonna be with you even though her body may be gone, your apart of her and if you live she lives on inside of you. your her daughter and she loves you and would want you to live your life without regret.
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Re: Mom - October 29th 2009, 02:54 PM

Hello there,
Im really sorry to hear that you lose your mum in febuary. I can not imagine how hard it must be for you. I agree with the user above. None of this is your fault. Your mum was ill, and there was nothing you could do to stop her dying. You going into your own room did not have any affect on what happend to your mum. Dont blame yourself. When someone dies, the people that loved that person often experience feelings of guilt, so i think its only normal for you to feel this way, but there is no need for you to feel guilty because you didnt do anything wrong. As time goes on you will feel as though its starting to get easier, you will learn to live with what has happend. Dont be afraid to talk to people about how you're feeling. Im sure family and friends would love to be there for you and support you through this. You dont have to do it alone. Im always here if you want to chat. Just PM.
Take care of yourself (:
Jess x

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Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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Re: Mom - October 29th 2009, 03:12 PM

Hi Bailey,

I am so sorry to hear about your mom. My sympathies are with you.

You shouldn't blame yourself though. Death is most of the times unexpected and most of the times no ones fault in actuallity. So please don't blame yourself. It's okay to miss someone but it is also necessary to move on. Move on but keep the deceased in your mind. Remember them when something good happens to you, in your happiness and appreciate what they did for you. At such a time, friends and family members can really be of help a lot. Sharing grief reduces it a bit.

And don't worry, I am sure your mom is in a much better place than us so you can be happy for her.

If you want to talk, I am just a PM away. Take care! ^_^
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Re: Mom - October 30th 2009, 12:25 AM

Thank you all a lot. It makes me feel a better just to hear all these responses and to be able to talk about it.
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Re: Mom - October 31st 2009, 03:41 PM

my dad died in march of 08 in a car accident. i was in it. and i sometimes blame myself that if i wasn't involved in basketball, he wouldn't have been driving home from the game. I'm sorry for your loss, i know what your going through if that helps. take care<3 im here if you need someone.
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Re: Mom - November 2nd 2009, 07:12 AM

Aww, thats soo sad im soo sorry. My mum and I are best friends too. I couldn't live without her.
And no it's not your fault one bit. That happens though, its all part of the healing process. But do not blame yourself.
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