Triggering (Grieving): Dad is diying in front of my eyes

teddylover · **Dad is diying in front of my eyes -** December 3rd 2009, 05:52 AM

Ok i am not sure how to handle all of this. My dad is slowly diying in front of me and I can't do anything about it. He has some kind of canser that is rare and he is on the bonemorw doners list for the VA hospital. He has to do kemo and im not ready for him to die. I mean he has just came into my life less than three years ago.I am not ready to let him go yet. He has so much to teach me and I have so much to learn for him.

landy · **Re: Dad is diying in front of my eyes -** December 3rd 2009, 01:41 PM

i cannot say i know how you feel but i can def relate.
my fiance's father wasnt apart of his life for very long
either. he was gone when he was young and came
back into his life and spent around 5 years w/ him before
his dad got cancer and passed away. it was a slow
death and very hard to see it all happen. he misses his
dad and thinks about him alot but he took the time he
had to say he loved him and wanted to let him know
that he would be ok and do the best in life that he can.
even though this is very scarey for you and hard...it
can be very hard on him as well...since he's been in ur
life for a short period, its probably best to let him know
that you'll be ok and take care of yourself. talking about
it is one of the best ways to deal with this. its going to
be hard but life happens and we have to make the best
out of it and cherish it. take care and once again i do
apologize you have to go through this. here if you need
to pm n e one my yahoo mess. is open 24/7

ThatpersonIusedtobe · **Re: Dad is diying in front of my eyes -** December 3rd 2009, 02:27 PM

I know exactly how you feel
my mom is too dying because of cancer
and i'm sorry you are facing the same thing and sorry i can't give you any advice
at least you can be there with him. I can't...
I know nothing can make you feel better right now, but just want to let you know that you are not alone. so, if you just need someone to talk to, you can PM me.

teddylover · **Re: Dad is diying in front of my eyes -** December 3rd 2009, 05:26 PM

Thanks its nice to know that im not alone on this one

Jacksonian · **Re: Dad is diying in front of my eyes -** December 3rd 2009, 06:15 PM

Spend time with him.

no.ordinary.dreamer · **Re: Dad is diying in front of my eyes -** December 3rd 2009, 06:45 PM

Hey,
I think I understand how you feel because my dad is dieing from a disease too. I find that it is helpful to spend time and make the most of the time you do have instead of constantly worrying about the future. It also sometimes helps to write how you are feeling. Its a good way to get your feeling out. I know how you are feeling and Im sorry you are going through this but you are not alone. PM me if you ever want to talk since I am going through the same thing. Id be happy to talk to you about it.

ThePunkAlien · **Re: Dad is diying in front of my eyes -** December 3rd 2009, 11:34 PM

I'm extremely sorry for your situation. I might not know what you're going through, but I've never known my real father and just imagining him coming back and then losing him so fast. I'm really sorry to hear that.

Evanescent · **Re: Dad is diying in front of my eyes -** December 4th 2009, 04:15 AM

Hi Beth,
I know that you are upset because your dad is in pain and you don't know how to help him, but there are ways. Of course you can't change his illness, but you can make him more comfortable. Be there for him to support him and show him that you love and care about him. You can also help by just checking up on him and seeing if he needs anything. Stay strong for him, because if he doesn't see you being strong he's not going to strong himself. I don't mean that you shouldn't be upset or that you shouldn't cry, because you should let yourself if that comes around, but just support him. I hope this helped.

teddylover · **Re: Dad is diying in front of my eyes -** December 5th 2009, 01:20 AM

Thanks but theh only thing is he is not my real father he is my step dad. I do spend time with him and i will do it as much as i can and thanks to everyone for letting me know that im not alnoe that makes it a little easyer to deal with.

dancerforever616 · **Re: Dad is diying in front of my eyes -** December 12th 2009, 10:38 PM

Hey Beth,
Unfortunately, I think I may know what you're going through. My mother lost a long battle with cancer in October, and her last few weeks were the worst weeks of my entire life. I saw my incredibly intelligent mother slowly lose her faculties. I was there when she lost controll of her body; all limbs and every organ. I watched her stop eating and I felt so guilty. I wanted her to die because I couldn't stand seeing her suffer so much. Words cannot describe the pain I felt, and still feel today. But even though it ruined me, I was there with her, and she knew it. Be there for your father, and let him know you will always love him, and he will rest in peace.