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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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BertBunnyMN Offline
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Name: Bert
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Location: Minnesota

Posts: 15
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Join Date: December 8th 2009

Grizzly Gramps - December 12th 2009, 06:03 AM

My grandpa died in august. I don't usually think of it, but now that its between thanksgiving and christmas, the thought of everything is just coming back.

Back when he was on his deathbed, I would spend 9 hours a day at work, and the other 15 hours of the day at the hospital, pretty much. In the last 4 days or so, i didn't get a wink of sleep. We decided to go home one night, and about an hour after, the call famous phone call came that said we'd better get there quickly. It wasn't that much of a shock. I knew it was going to come sometime, I accepted it.

I got in my car, and drove to the hospital. VERY fast. When i got home, I figured I could sleep, since there was no use worrying about a dead person anymore. The funeral came, I was a casket bearer. It only took few days to get over and push to the back of my mind, forget about it, and continue life as normal.

But then thanksgiving dinner came, and the old man wasn't there to say grace, or tell stories. Now christmas is approaching, and the old man won't be there to say grace, or tell stories.

Every time I think of it, it just gives me a painful feeling. I know I didn't do anything wrong, I mean, I was up for four days straight just trying to be there - and knowing the call would come soon.

I just get the feeling, that I'll forget about this, until thanksgiving and christmas come around, every year, and then I'll start feeling like this again. It gets to the point where sometimes I'll just be in public, with a friend, having fun, and suddenly have to try to not :'[.

I don't like this... I dont know why. Why I can accept it throughout the whole rest of the year, but not during times when family is supposed to be together?

I don't wanna be feeling like this... I don't wanna rant to people about it, as if I'm just begging for attention...

Last edited by BertBunnyMN; December 12th 2009 at 08:06 AM.
   
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