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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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My Boyfriend's Older Brother... - December 24th 2009, 06:57 PM

I have a wonderful boyfriend. We haven't been dating for very long, but we're very close and happy together.

Yesterday, I spent the day at his house. He was going to play guitar for me but he was too upset and distracted to play for very long. I asked him what was wrong, and he showed me the back of the guitar. There was a picture of a cross, and it said "In Loving Memory of Josh ..." and the date of his birth and death.

He died a little over 3 years ago, and my boyfriend has only told one other person outside of his family (who, apparently, didn't care about it). I've been through a lot emotionally, but I've never dealt with death. I don't know how to help him, or even how to help myself.

What can I do? I can barely think about it without crying.
   
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Re: My Boyfriend's Older Brother... - December 30th 2009, 10:58 AM

Hey Fizz,

It can be really hard to know what to say or how to help in this kind of situation. But I guess the main thing is that you are there for him and just tell him you are there if he ever wants to talk about it. Sometimes just having someone there for you can make all the difference. Perhaps if he is finding it really hard to deal with he should see someone like a counsellor.

You need to remember to look after yourself in all this as well. Stay strong
   
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Re: My Boyfriend's Older Brother... - December 30th 2009, 11:13 AM

After three years, it won't be so fresh in his mind. There's not much you can do, don't bring it up yourself because he may not want to talk about it. Wait for him to bring it up, and just make sure he knows you're there to listen if he wants to talk about it. Don't make him feel awkward or anything. Just, let him know you care and you're there for him.



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