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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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*Rainbow*Rider* Offline
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Red face The anniversary - January 5th 2010, 05:48 PM

Please, any comments. Any words to make this seem real.

Its the anniversary soon.
I'm feeling fragile, but not as bad I thought I would.
I've booked three weeks off around the day, just to..I dunno. I couldn't stand the thought of facing work.

But I'm not as broken as I thought I would, Im just...crying a little bit, then taking my mind off it with tv and stuff.

I feel like I'm insulting him somehow, like this means I love him less or I didn't care about it... I always felt like 'getting over it' meant putting him in a box in the back of my head like he never happened, but I don't want to do that, I haven't. He's with me all the time, every day, all day, in the corner of my head making jokes and talking like he used to. And no I'm not crazy, I'm just...I dunno. Everybodies a little crazy right.

I don't know what the point of this thread is.
How am I meant to feel?
Because I just feel numb, so numb.
I feel like someone should slap me round the face, like the tears are there but they're not coming.

If the world is a cold place
Make it your business to start some fires

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Jacksonian Offline
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Re: The anniversary - January 5th 2010, 08:23 PM

Don't block it out. What I am about to say may seem cold, but I don't mean it that way.
Accept it. Accept what happened.
If you feel like crying, then cry. The numbness you feel may be from distracting yourself from the fact. But accept it and the tears will flow and you shall stop feeling the numbness. Don't force the tears to come, just wait and they will come.
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emma01 Offline
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Re: The anniversary - January 7th 2010, 08:21 AM

By accepting someone's death, it does not mean in anyway we are 'forgetting' them or insulting them. And if you need to cry, cry all you want, Letting out sadness is always better than trying to hold it in.
Deaths are so hard to get a grip of, sometimes you feel as though you cant handle them, but in time you will get better
It's good you are taking time to yourself when you know you are going to be a bit more sad. It will keep your mind off it
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*Jen* Offline
keep smiling :-)
Outside, huh?
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Re: The anniversary - January 8th 2010, 09:41 PM

sounds like this time of year is a tough time for you. Anniversaries are always difficult days to get through; I know I struggle with them loads but remember you have got everyone here for you on those days. You know where I am if you ever need a chat. Stay strong.
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Re: The anniversary - January 8th 2010, 10:36 PM

I felt the same way when that happened to me. I wasn't completely devastated on the one year, although I was sad.

Just go with the day. Try doing something to remember him. Maybe write him a letter or something. <3

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Re: The anniversary - January 9th 2010, 01:16 AM

It wasn't as awful as I thought. It was just a kind of...realization of how much can change in a year. We all kept busy, had a cry in the morning, set him out some flowers.

With the snow, it feels like the whole country has come to a stop for him...but I'm okay with that. Its a bit of peace.

If the world is a cold place
Make it your business to start some fires

  (#7 (permalink)) Old
egirl_was_left Offline
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Re: The anniversary - January 9th 2010, 09:58 PM

Don't think you have to feel a certain way about it. It's a cliche but people grieve in different ways, and equally at different times not always on the quite 'forced' occassions. You are quite likely to suddenly feel his loss over something trivial and even unrelated, but go with it and let it out.
Glad to hear the day was ok in the end. The snow's quite pretty really isn't it...
E x
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