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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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claire.ellen Offline
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Unhappy im such an idiot. - January 24th 2010, 01:12 PM

im really not coping tonight.
i miss cass and melissa so much.
why was i such an idiot and not go to cass' funeral.
i need her.
she was my strengh.
and now shes gone.
i dont know what to do.
i really wish things were different.
i cant do this tonight.
sorry.


Melissa. My biological mother. Thank you for making the hardest decision anyone could ever make. I miss you. I forgive you.
I love you.
5th December 1976 - 2nd December 2007.

Cass. My close friend. You were a truely amazing and inspirational person. Thank you for teaching me how to be strong. I miss you. I love you. Always.
3rd October 1990 - 27th December 2009.
   
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*Jen* Offline
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Re: im such an idiot. - January 24th 2010, 04:16 PM

Hey Claire,

I am so sorry to hear about this. It is horrible when you lose people so close to you but I think they would be looking down on you and be proud of you to have kept going despite how you are feeling. You were not an idiot for not going to your friends funeral. You may have all sorts of reasons why you didn't go and sometimes going can make you feel worse and bring up all sorts of emotions so in some cases it can be better not to go. It is a personal decision and there is no point in having regrets on what you should have done because you can't change that now.

I know the feeling about wishing things were different. Life isn't fair at times but I guess you have to make the most of what you have and hopefully things will get better in time.

I am always here if you want to chat. I have lost my mum so I can relate somewhat to how you feel. Stay strong.
   
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Re: im such an idiot. - January 24th 2010, 04:33 PM

I take it this happened fairly lately?
For the first...three months after I lost my latest (and closest) loved one, I just didn't function. I cried all day and all night, no sleep, no work, no thoughts. Just...feeling how you said you're feeling.

You have to force yourself out of it. Live for them, take the chances they never got the chance to take.

I wear something that reminds me of my lost one every day, it makes me feel like he's with me, makes me feel safe.

You're still here, by faith hill makes me feel better.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnQIXFYHibc

I hope this helps.
Life is too precious.



If the world is a cold place
Make it your business to start some fires




   
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cherryqueen1248 Offline
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Re: im such an idiot. - January 24th 2010, 05:44 PM

keep your chin up and talk to them because they are listening, they're watching over you!
   
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silentmuffin Offline
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Re: im such an idiot. - January 24th 2010, 10:05 PM

Don't beat yourself up about not going to a funeral. Some people consider it a way to gain closure and say goodbye to their loved ones, but not everyone is comfortable with that and it's certainly not the only way to prove that you loved that person and miss them. Everyone grieves differently, so don't feel like you should have to do the things other people do or feel the way other people feel. Love is something that never dies and even when you lose a loved one, you can still feel that love. I lost my grandmother in July and there are random moments where I have a feeling that just shoots through me and I know it's her love, and that's something I will never be without. The same goes for you.

It's perfectly okay to be upset. It's also okay to be angry or have regrets and wonder if you could have done things differently. Losing people you love is such a hard thing to deal with, but you have to let yourself feel your feelings. Don't try to stop them or hide them. But also, you have to let yourself smile again and be happy. That's what Cass and Melissa would want if they were with you...and they are with you.


Aš tave myliu, Nanny. I'm carrying your love with me.
   
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WillO'Wisp Offline
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Re: im such an idiot. - January 24th 2010, 11:15 PM

I'm sorry for your loss. I know it's hard to lose people you're close to, and you grieve for awhile, but the pain goes away. You just remember the good times you had with them, and they always live on in our hearts.
   
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