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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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TakeTheLeap Offline
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241 Morgan <3 - January 30th 2010, 06:46 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of death or grieving, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Many of you may have seen on the Current Events & Debates forum that the Virginia Tech student who went missing in October was found dead last Tuesday.
Morgan and I went to school together from the time we were in the middle school up until about 10th grade when she moved to a different school. We were members of the same church.
I can't say we were close, which is something I deeply regret, because her smile would light up the room. Even though we weren't close, she was always a sweetheart to me like randomly saying hi in the hall or including me when I felt like an outcast. No matter who she was around or what she was doing, she could always make someone smile. She just had that way about her. I hate that I don't really know much about her other than the group she hung out with in school. Then again, I didn't really need to -know- her to see the beautiful person she was since she showed it all the time. Despite the fact that we weren't close, I still consider her to be a friend. And no matter how close we were or weren't, my heart still breaks knowing that we'll never be able to be close.

Morgan was taken from the world way too soon. She was studying to be a teacher. She was very active in community involvement. She was the kind of person everyone wanted to have in their life because the moment you met her, she made some kind of a positive impact on you. In her mom's words, "That girl even had some lovely bones." Beautiful from the inside out.

Her death was a tragic one. She was abducted and murdered by someone who was too indulgent in what -they- wanted and didn't care what the world needed. Why was -she- the one who had to die? I don't understand it... Why is it that the best people are the ones to get hurt? Murderers always seem to pick the wrong target. If murderers are going to kill, why not kill someone who has had a negative impact on the world? And why is it that the good ones are the ones to leave while the criminals are left to walk freely and hurt other people at any given second of the day?

I've been having such a horrible time dealing with Morgan's death despite the fact that I didn't know her. I don't know how to feel, what to feel, or when to feel it. I cry randomly, and other times I want to scream out in anger, and other times I find myself happy that she's not being hurt. Sometimes I want the person who did it to be caught for the sole purpose of avenging her death, and other times I want him caught just so others won't have to go through the same thing she went through, what her family and friends are going through. And sometimes I'm just glad that she's now in a more peaceful place and her parents can have some kind of closure and that they can bury their daughter rather than constantly wondering what some asshole is doing to their precious girl.

I'll be fine one minute and devastated the next. Yet no one seems to really understand what I'm going through except for my high school friends who are going through the exact same thing with me. What's tough is that I can't really talk to them about it because I'm over 100 miles away from home.

I just want to know that things will get better. Right now, I really don't know if this emotional roller coaster will ever stop. I feel like I'm going 100mph and there's no end in sight. What am I going to do? Why don't I know what, when, or how to feel?
I want to be numbed from all feeling. I want to have a permanent anaesthetic.

My mom says I need to rely on my faith, which has never been a problem before, but right now, I'm at the point where I just don't know why God had to choose her when He did. I know God has a reason for everything, but I just wish that I knew the reason. I wish I knew God's plan for her... For her family... For her friends... For the future. God will help us through it all, I know that... I just wish it was more apparent. I wish I knew what was going to happen from here.

241, Morgan. I love you TOO much. FOREVER. And ONCE more. Rest in peace, pretty girl. We'll see you again... One sweet day.


“Don't get too comfortable with who you are at any given time. You may miss the opportunity to become who you want to be." ~Jon Bon Jovi


Last edited by TakeTheLeap; January 30th 2010 at 06:52 AM.
   
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Re: 241 Morgan <3 - January 30th 2010, 05:10 PM

This is so sad. I'm sorry for your loss Em,
May she rest in peace.




   
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