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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Shonda Offline
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Unhappy Boyfriend Passed Away Yesterday - February 21st 2010, 11:36 PM

My boyfriend passed away yesterday morning from kidney failure. It hurts so bad and I can't stop crying. He was going to propose to me for Valentine's Day but he got sick so we never got a chance to see each other. We had plans to be together after he got out of the hospital.... I love him and I miss him so much. I wake up wishing this was all a dream. He was supposed to be the man I marry....we were trying to have a child with no luck. I don't really know how to feel. I know that when it's a person's time to go....there is nothing anyone can do to stop it.....but I'm sad because he's gone and kinda angry because he let go or maybe there was more that they could have done at the hospital. He was the sweetest person you could ever meet....never selfish and always thinking of other's before himself. All he ever wanted was happiness for me. He literally would do anything for me. I had the flu two weeks ago and he took care of me. There are so many things I wish I could have said to him....so many things I wish I could have done. When will this all end.......I'm hurting so bad.
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Boyfriend Passed Away Yesterday - February 21st 2010, 11:53 PM

i'm soooo sorry hun if you need anything just pm me ok?




Darlin' don't leave me out here in the cold
I'm begging you baby don't leave me out here on my own I'll die, If you don't hold me tight Tonight, I couldn't make it outside If I tried, So please let me in lover,
Be kind ♥
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Boyfriend Passed Away Yesterday - February 22nd 2010, 12:00 AM

TBH the way you felt about him, it wont be easy, I know it sounds harsh but its true, you need to remeber that he loved you for you, and that he will always be watching over you, looking out for you, he doesn't want you to be upset, he wants you to remeber all the happy times you and him had together. I know what its like to lose someone really close to you, My bf died from an over dose, and even though Im with someone else it still hurts.

If you'd like to talk or anything I'm only a message away, If not I respect your wishes, in time it will get easy, but he is your shadow, he's the brightest star you see shinning when you look out the window, and he is with you every single minute of ever single day.

xx





   
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Re: Boyfriend Passed Away Yesterday - February 22nd 2010, 12:16 AM

Im sorry Shonda, its rough i know, and it takes time. months, mabie even years so get over it. honestly, yes you may heal from it quite a bit, but theres still gonna probably be a part of you that will still miss him for the rest of your life. it may not be near as bad as it it right now. but still, you will miss him. and it is true in a way because my friend lost her mom just last year due to heavy drinking, and i can tell there is still a lot of sadness from her moms death. it will be a year since it happened in march. and me myself lost my cat (to me she was a huge part of my life and still like a person to me) that happened a year ago also, and im still not over it yet. when you think about it, im really not over it at all. For me, i really dont even have it in me to talk about it to anybody cuz i know i cant do that. so i ignore it, thats just how i deal.

I know its tough right now, But in my opinion everything happens for a reason. so there was a reason this did happen, it was just his time to go i guess, even though he was really young it probably was. And remember it doesnt have anything to do with you. there probably couldnt be anything you could have possibly done to stop it from happening. its not your fault,

and i wud just try to relax, if you have any close friends talk to em about it and hangout with them a lot right now, it helps a lot when you think about.
take a bubble bath, go to the spa, something like that is what always helps me a lot.
and when your ready, if you feel you want to, go into therapy mabie. if you get just the right councler, it can be the best thing to ever do to get help and its worth it.


Pm me if you ever need to

-winter


Met you from a tie between u and me buddy,
Saw you from my wired eyes with a twisted little lie, and my mind told me negative when i had a wish to own you with my heart, buddy and you split like twigs, senses told her i fell for him, and she told me "i loved him, and go get him" And while i said "negative he said "correct" <3


Me and ? = 3 days which =correct
   
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Re: Boyfriend Passed Away Yesterday - February 22nd 2010, 12:28 AM

I am deeply sorry for the pain you are undergoing. But whenever you feel like crying go on crying. Because you shouldn't hold this in, this is an emotional pain that you have to let out.

I am sorry.

I truly am sorry.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
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Re: Boyfriend Passed Away Yesterday - February 22nd 2010, 01:50 AM

Im so sorry. If you ever need to talk, just PM me.
Im here for you.
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Boyfriend Passed Away Yesterday - February 22nd 2010, 03:02 AM

Thank all of you for your kind words and I want to thank everyone else in advance. I have yet to stop crying. My heart is weighed down with sorrow.
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Re: Boyfriend Passed Away Yesterday - February 22nd 2010, 09:00 AM

My greatest condolence goes to you, Shonda. I am very sorry such horrible and unfortunate things have happened to your boyfriend and you. He is most certainly a loving and caring person to you, and it only makes me more sad to learn of such tragedy. Please let me know if there is anything special or of need I can do for you.

You and your boyfriend will be in my thoughts.
   
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Re: Boyfriend Passed Away Yesterday - February 22nd 2010, 09:39 AM

Dear Shonda,

My heart goes out to you and to all who loved him. It is so sad to lose such a lovely human being. I'm glad you said that you love him. So many people - when they lose someone they love - refer to their love in the past tense. In other words - they say that they loveD them. But as you know - the death of a loved one doesn't put an end to the love we have for them. And it's that love that will help carry you through this pain.

You were given a beautiful gift. The gift of his friendship. The gift of his love. Treasure that forever and hold on tight to that love as you work your way through the difficult days ahead. And in time - it's that love that will give you comfort and make it possible for you to enjoy each moment of every day. Honor your friend by making the most of your life. And know in your heart that wherever you go - he is with you. For love NEVER DIES.

GREAT BIG HUG
Craig!!
   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Boyfriend Passed Away Yesterday - February 22nd 2010, 04:07 PM

Shonda, I am so sorry that you have to go through something as horrible as this. Everyone's right- It isn't easy. But the pain will ease. Just remember he loves you. He's still there. He always will be. And I know he wouldn't want you to be so upset. But grieving is good, it helps relieve stress, and crying will help you too. I hope you feel better soon, and I understand if you don't. Just let me know if you need anything. I'm always always always here. Take care, love.
Kristen



I guess we are who we are for a lot of reasons.
And maybe we’ll never know most of them.
But even if we don’t have the power to choose where we come from,
we can still choose where we go from there.
We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them.

PM|VM|EMAIL
Colyn Riley ♥
   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
Shonda Offline
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Re: Boyfriend Passed Away Yesterday - February 23rd 2010, 08:20 PM

The funeral services are set for Saturday. I've been having panic attacks.....I almost fainted in the store yesterday when I went to buy somthing to wear to the wake and funeral. I'm shaking constantly.....my stomach aches and I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm going crazy. I have not been eating or sleeping and I feel sick. I try to eat but I take a few bites then I don't want to eat anymore. I don't want to end up in the hospital or anything. That's the last thing I want. Someone please help. I don't know what to do. What can I do to help myself stay healthy through all of this? I don't know if I'll be able to handle the wake and funeral. My friends said they would be there for me but I feel terrible and am hurting so bad on the inside.
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Re: Boyfriend Passed Away Yesterday - February 23rd 2010, 10:11 PM

I'm so sorry Shonda. There are no words of mine which can take away the pain you and those who knew him must be going through right now - losing someone in such a way, especially someone so close to you, is one of the hardest things in life and you have my deepest sympathies. The way you are currently feeling and the emotions you are feeling are all perfectly natural expressions of grief, and especially in situations like this it can really take its toll on you. As difficult as it will be, you need to try and make a conscious effort to look after your own health - even if your apetite isn't there, try and eat enough to make sure you keep up your energy and to sleep where possible, even if only for a bit. It is very hard, but anything you can do in this regard will help. Your boyfriend would want you to look after your own health and not to get ill because of what's happened. Try to remember on all the good things that came from your relationship - the love you share, the things you did together, the memories you have created together - and hopefully they will help you to go to the funeral remembering your boyfriend's time in this life for the good points. A funeral is as much a celebration of a life as the marking of a death.
Above all else, remember that as others have said he will always be with you, and that in time the pain you feel will gradually be replaced by the many positives your relationship brought to your lives. In the meantime, we're all here for you if you need it.

Take care.
   
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Re: Boyfriend Passed Away Yesterday - February 23rd 2010, 11:32 PM

i'm sorry that this happened. If you need anything at all please feel free to private message me or visitor message me.
Chandler
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  (#14 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Boyfriend Passed Away Yesterday - February 24th 2010, 02:42 AM

I'm sorry to hear about this. My eyes teared up just reading it. They say that time heals all wounds and I'm sure it does. I assure you, the pain will eventually go away. You won't ever forget him if he was the man you clame he was to you. You just have to remember all the happy times with him and how much he loved you. No matter what, you will always have the happy times to carry with you. Hope you feel better.


~Andie~


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hehe...it's a bunny!!!
   
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Re: Boyfriend Passed Away Yesterday - February 24th 2010, 03:14 AM

The exact same thing happened to my sister. At the wake she nearly passed out. When you lose someone dear to you, crying isn't a bad thing. I feel like crying is a way to help heal the soul. I will say this, for my sister, time dulled the pain, and to this day i can tell its still hard for her to think about it. Life sometimes means moving forward no matter how much it hurts, but losing someone doesn't mean they are gone. In your heart and your memories, he will always live on. My condolences.
   
  (#16 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Boyfriend Passed Away Yesterday - February 24th 2010, 04:37 AM

I just thought I would share this story with everyone.....it makes me feel good to talk about him and the good times we shared.


I see now that crying helps a lot. A few months ago....it was storming outside....he was afraid of lightning lol so we sat down on the floor wrapped up in a blanket and just talked. We talked about death that night because he had gone into cardiac arrest once. I told him to please please please never do that to me again because I didn't know what I would do if I was to ever lose him. I begged him to hold on if he could. He told me......he wasn't afraid to die and whatever happens that he didn't want me or anyone else to cry for him because he would be in a better place and there was nothing we would be able to do about it. I am trying to be strong. But he was my best friend. I secretly loved him since 5th grade. He developed a crush on me when we got to 10th grade but he said I acted like I didn't like him so he gave up. I told him that it just wasn't meant to be at that time. Then we got in touch with each other last summer through myspace. We realized we lived right around the corner from each other and decided to start hanging out. I was in a bad relationship at the time. And Travis kept telling me that I didn't deserve that and to leave and be with him. After getting a bloody nose one night.....I called Travis. He's slim and tall. He was a small guy with a big heart and he didn't hesitate to come to my rescue. He wanted to kill my ex. That's when I realized he was the man for me. He hated to see me hurt even in the smallest way. Everytime I got sick he was there for me and I did the same for him because his family was never around. We fell in love and he wanted the world to know. His name on Myspace still is "Travis A.K.A Shonda's Man" lol. He didn't mind telling people how much he was in love with me and would do anything for me...even complete strangers. Everyone he came in contact with loved him because he had this peaceful...loving...caring nature to him. My whole family loved him. He told me every single day that I am beautiful. He told me almost everyday that he still got butterflies everytime he saw me. I used to tell him how amazing he was because he loves me unconditionally and it showed. That's something I never had until him. There's so much I'm going to miss and he can never be replaced. His memory will never fade. Thank you guys once again for your kind words and for reading. I will be getting in touch with some of you guys because it's not easy right now and I don't have many people to talk to. I notice that after crying....I feel better and don't panic as much.
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Re: Boyfriend Passed Away Yesterday - February 26th 2010, 01:36 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss.
I can relate though, i lost my grandfather, dad and cousin in one year.
Hope things get better. Stay strong.




   
  (#18 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Boyfriend Passed Away Yesterday - February 26th 2010, 02:05 AM

I'm sorry hon, that must be a really rough situation. Take care time will heal.


I am waylaid by Beauty. Who will walk
Between me and the crying of the frogs?

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  (#19 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Boyfriend Passed Away Yesterday - February 27th 2010, 03:45 AM

I've been better these last 2 days. Except the fact that I have to damn near chase his mom down to find out the arrangements. I don't know if it's just me but I feel like she doesn't want me to know anything. She keeps giving me the run around about things.
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Re: Boyfriend Passed Away Yesterday - February 27th 2010, 06:56 PM

It may be hard for her to see you. But none the less, don't force her into anything, don't pressure her too much but give her time and space. And remember, cry whenever you want to and the pain will slowly pass. Don't worry, don't worry.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
  (#21 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Boyfriend Passed Away Yesterday - February 28th 2010, 04:35 AM

I AM SO SAD AND UPSET.....I KNEW THIS WOULD PROBABLY HAPPEN. WELL, TODAY I CALLED THE FUNERAL HOME TO SEE IF ANY ARRANGEMENTS HAD BEEN MADE BECAUSE i STILL WASN'T GETTING ANY INFO FROM HIS MOM. SHE KEEPS TELLING ME "I'LL GET IN TOUCH WITH YOU". WELL, THE FUNERAL HOME SAID THERE HAD BEEN DRAMA THERE EARLIER WITH HIS DAD AND HE HAD CHANGED ALL THE PLANS. SO, I GOT HIS DAD'S NUMBER AND CALLED HIM. HE SAID THAT MY BOYFRIEND'S MOM HELD A MEMORIAL TODAY WITH SOME OF HER CLOSE FAMILY MEMEBRS AND DIDN'T TELL ANYONE.....NOT EVEN HIS DAD. HE WENT BY THERE EARLIER AND HAPPENED TO SHOW UP WHILE THE MEMORIAL WAS GOING ON. MY BOYFRIEND'S OTHER BROTHER, OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS, AND FRIENDS WERE NOT INFORMED OF WHAT WAS GOING ON. IT'S HURTS BECAUSE I CALLED HER YESTERDAY. SHE COULD HAVE LET ME KNOW. MY BOYFRIEND DIDN'T HAVE INSURANCE OR ANYTHING AND HIS FAMILY IS ACTING REAL TIGHT WITH THEIR MONEY AND IT'S SAD. I WISH I HAD THE MONEY TO GIVE HIM A PROPER FUNERAL AND BURIAL BUT I DON'T........HE WON'T BE BURIED UNTIL HIS FAMILY HAS THE MONEY. I JUST HOPE THEY WILL LET ME SEE HIS BODY BEFORE HE'S BURIED. I WILL TRY TOMORROW OR MONDAY TO GO AND SEE HIM. BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT HAVING A FUNERAL OR WAKE.
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Re: Boyfriend Passed Away Yesterday - February 28th 2010, 10:19 AM

I'm really sorry to hear that Shonda - that can't be a nice thing to have to deal with on top of everything else. It almost sounds as though his mother is trying to close off the world while she's dealing with her grief, which while I can understand is not the right way to deal with this kind of thing and doesn't make it any easier for the rest of you. My advice would be to keep in contact with your boyfriend's father and the funeral home so they can keep you informed about what is going on - at the end of the day, you have a right to know and a right to be there when he is buried. It looks like contacting them may be a more reliable avenue than his mother at the moment. At the same time, if you feel able to - and if it's not going to aggravate the situation further - it might be worth trying to talk to his mother again and see if you can get involved with the arrangements. You may have to stick your foot in the door, so to speak.

I hope things improve soon.
   
  (#23 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Boyfriend Passed Away Yesterday - March 4th 2010, 05:13 AM

Thanks to my boyfriend's father I was able to see him for the last time today. It hurt so bad and only made me miss him more.
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Re: Boyfriend Passed Away Yesterday - March 4th 2010, 03:15 PM

Oh sweetie. I am so sorry for your loss. :hugs: Please know that I am thinking of you, his friends, and his family during this difficult time.


P.M me anytime you need or want to talk to me. God Bless.
   
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Re: Boyfriend Passed Away Yesterday - March 4th 2010, 07:58 PM

I'm glad you were able to see him again today - I know it must have really hurt, and the memory of what has happened will probably hurt for some time as well, but in time you will look back on it and (I hope) feel glad that you were able to see him one more time. The pain never really goes away, but it does get easier to live with - I've buried 3 grandparents, which isn't the same as what you're going through but I know how these things hurt for quite a while. With time, you will remember the good times you shared together over the pain his loss is causing. In the meantime, stay strong and remember we're here for you.
   
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Re: Boyfriend Passed Away Yesterday - March 4th 2010, 09:25 PM

Aww, I'm so sorry. I know losing people you love hurt alot, but eventually it gets better. It just takes time.
I know this may not be the same thing but I lost my Grandparents who were the only two decent people in my messed up family, and that hurt alot. I mourned them, I was angry for awhile, then I eventually moved on without feeling sad anymore because the pain fades away.
I believe when a person goes they live on in our heart and memories and are watching over us, and don't walk with us in person anymore but in spirit and are still there with us even if we can't see them. I also am always told whenever I was sad that when you die, you see them again on the other side. That always made me feel a little better.
If you need anyone to talk to just PM me, and again I'm very sorry for your loss and I give you my sympathy and regards. *Hugs*
   
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