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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
fall to romance Offline
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Name: Brittany
Age: 29
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Posts: 275
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Join Date: December 31st 2009

So There Goes My Life. (R.I.P) - March 12th 2010, 02:51 AM

I hurt. I can't breathe. And as soon as I feel my tears slow, a fresh wave starts up again.

My heart will combust.

I just wish I were numb.

My mom called me in tears earlier to say that they took my dog to the vet because he wasn't doing well. She said they gave him some medication. They said that should help. He got worse. Something ruptured. When I was on the phone with my mom, he stopped breathing.



My sweet baby boy...He was there for me when I needed him the most, but I couldn't be there for him when he needed me. My parents couldn't afford the surgery that could have saved his life.

He was just a little boy. Only 6 years old. He was so playful and loving. He cared about everyone.

I was going to take him on our usual walks this week when I was home for spring break. I was finally going to be able to spend some time with him.

My mom asked me several times if I was still there over the course of our conversation. "Yeah" was pretty much all I could say. She asked me if I was alright. "I dunno" was all I could say. We hung up and I've been crying non-stop ever since.

Nothing's helping. I wish I were numb. I wish he were still alive. I wish I could be there.

I want my baby boy. He meant so much more than life to me. He was most of my world.


So there goes my life
Passing by with every exit sign
It's been so long
Sometimes I wonder how I will stay strong
No sleep tonight
I'll keep on driving these dark highway lines
And as the moon fades
One more night gone, only twenty more days

But I will see you again
I will see you again a long time from now

And there goes my life
Passing by with every departing flight
And its been so hard
So much time so far apart
And she walks the night
How many hearts will die tonight
And will things have changed
I guess I'll find out IN seventeen days

But I will see you again
I will see you again a long time from now

My body aches
And it hurts to say
That no one is moving
And I wish that I weren't here tonight
But this is my life

And I will see you again
I will see you again a long time from now

And I will see you again
I will see you again a long time from now

Hello, I'm In Delaware-City and Colour


-B
--

R.I.P. my sweet baby boy. I miss you so much more than you could have ever imagined.


"There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one other moment when I was close to that. . . . But even in my most jaded times, I had some hope.-Gerard Way
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Nina Twin Offline
So It Goes
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Re: So There Goes My Life. (R.I.P) - March 12th 2010, 03:40 AM

I'm so sorry, Brittany. I know that Buddy meant a lot to you - he was so sweet and loving. I have never met a more friendly dog in my entire life, no joke. He will be missed by a lot of people. He won't have to worry about being sick or in pain anymore, though. He'll be running around with his squishy in doggy Heaven. <3


"Life should not be measured by how far we can fall, but how high we can climb."



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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
fall to romance Offline
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Name: Brittany
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Re: So There Goes My Life. (R.I.P) - March 12th 2010, 03:55 AM

I made myself a cup of tea. I haven't touched it yet.

It's been two hours since he died. I haven't stopped crying. I hurt so much still, but I think maybe the numbness is starting to settle in...if only a tiny bit.


-B
--

R.I.P. my sweet baby boy. I miss you so much more than you could have ever imagined.


"There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one other moment when I was close to that. . . . But even in my most jaded times, I had some hope.-Gerard Way
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Nina Twin Offline
So It Goes
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Re: So There Goes My Life. (R.I.P) - March 12th 2010, 03:59 AM

You should go take a hot bath or something. Listen to MCR. Watch Spongebob maybe. Have you thought about drawing Buddy? Would that help?


"Life should not be measured by how far we can fall, but how high we can climb."



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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
fall to romance Offline
Member
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Name: Brittany
Age: 29
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Location: USA

Posts: 275
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Re: So There Goes My Life. (R.I.P) - March 12th 2010, 04:06 AM

I'm listening to Hello I'm In Delaware by City and Colour on repeat. That seems to be helping a bit. I'm contemplating a hot shower. I might just try to sleep though. I doubt I'll go to class tomorrow. I've been wanting to draw him for the longest time. My parents have all the good pictures. I was going to take some more, but I never got the chance. Maybe I'll draw him over break.


-B
--

R.I.P. my sweet baby boy. I miss you so much more than you could have ever imagined.


"There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one other moment when I was close to that. . . . But even in my most jaded times, I had some hope.-Gerard Way
   
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