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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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In the morning it will all be better. - March 12th 2010, 07:23 AM

(I guess this is where it'd go..I mean, I am grieving over the death of my dog.)

It's not what it seems in the land of dreams
Don't worry your head, just go to sleep
When you wake up the world will come around...

-Lullaby, Fall Out Boy


My eyes hurt. They hurt and they're puffy.

I finally stopped crying just about two hours ago.

My grandma called my sister when she was still at work. I didn't know that, so when my sister came home, I went to go tell her. I couldn't finish my sentence. I got caught on "My dog" and the burst into tears again. My sister actually gave me a hug. I actually cried on her shoulder. And when I pulled away and composed myself there was a pint of Ben & Jerry's with a spoon sticking in it. Then she poured me a glass of Martinelli's. She actually bought me a pint of chocolate fudge brownie ice cream and a bottle of one of my favorite beverages. She then suggested I watch a movie. I chose Beauty and the Beast. Not only is it my favorite movie of all time, but my dog also loved it. So I sat on the couch with a blanket over me, cuddling my baby blanket and my handmade Ugly Doll, ate some ice cream, drank some Martinelli's, and watched the best movie ever. It made me feel a bit better. So much better than my family calling me to ask how I'm holding up and telling me my dog wouldn't want me to be sad. I know he wouldn't want me to be. He loved being happy and seeing everyone else happy. That was what he did with his life, he made sure everyone was happy. I'll never be able to forget what he's done for me.

I know in time the pain will fade. One day I'll wake up happy without noticing the pain has gone. I know it will take time. After all, he was my baby. He was my life. Some people may think, "What the Hell? It was a dog." But he wasn't a normal dog. He was more human than anything. I swear he could speak with his eyes. I always knew what he was thinking. He was super intelligent too. I taught him left from right, and he understood Spanish as well as English. He also a very modern dog. By that I mean he loved dressing up. Lime green was his favorite color...he always chose that color ribbon for his bow after a bath. He adored his sweaters in the winter. All his favorite toys were lime green and he got so excited when he got new toys that he didn't know what to do. He was the sweetest baby you'd ever meet. He was so overprotective of everyone, but especially babies. Did I mention that he loved fire? Every time we had a fire in our yard, he'd run around the pit trying to eat the embers. So he may not have been so intelligent sometimes, but he was one of the best dogs in this world.

Ok. I need to stop now before I start crying again. I've cried for at least three hours straight already tonight, I don't think I need to do so anymore. My only plan for the rest of the night is to turn Lullaby on repeat and let Patrick's voice bring me peace as I sleep for hours. I'm not setting my alarm. I doubt I'll be going to class. However, I will still be going to dinner and to see Alice with my friends. I think it'd do me some good. Besides, we've planned it before my dog died.


-B
--

R.I.P. my sweet baby boy. I miss you so much more than you could have ever imagined.


"There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one other moment when I was close to that. . . . But even in my most jaded times, I had some hope.-Gerard Way
   
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Re: In the morning it will all be better. - March 12th 2010, 10:15 PM

I'm really sorry Brittany - I remember you mentioning your dog in an earlier post and it was clear then how much he meant to you, so I know it must be very hard for you. I lost my dog about 6 years ago because of cancer, and it hurt just as badly as when I lost any other family member...because in the end, a pet is a part of your family. When they die the pain and grief are exactly the same, and it does take time to come to terms with. In time, however, the pain will be outweighed by the good memories you have of him, and from the sound of your post there are plenty to choose from.

It's really good to hear your sister was there for you like that - I know at times it's been hard with her, but it's good to know she pulled through when you needed it most. As far as the next few days go, take them as they come and look after yourself - going out with your friends is a good idea if you're up to it, as company sometimes helps with these things. It did for me when my nan died last year. At the same time, remember to give yourself time and space to grieve, and to deal with the grief in your own way. We're all here if you need us.

Take care.
   
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Re: In the morning it will all be better. - March 13th 2010, 09:36 AM

Thanks. I've always felt that my pets were my family. For some reason, I've always been closer to my pets than other family members. I guess it might be because there's much less drama with them. Their needs are simple and they're not afraid to show you how they really feel. I really do have so many great memories of him. I don't think I have a single bad memory of him. Not even when he chewed my glasses and I had to get new ones shortly after we first got him. I mean, I hated those glasses anyway.

I was really surprised that she did that for me. I don't mean to make her sound like a cold-hearted bitch, but that's generally how she portrays herself. I can think of only two times in my life when she was truly there for me. She gave me her jacket once when we were walking home from school and the weather turned from super warm to suddenly pouring freezing rain (she denies it, however. She says she did it to make me stop crying). The other time, I didn't personally experience it, but I got lost once walking home from school. I hear she was freaking out and crying.

Going out with my friends really did help, even though the movie was sold out. Being surrounded by eight other fantastic people really helped take my mind off things and give me things to laugh about. I do still feel very exhausted by the event, and I'm sure I'll have plenty of time over the next week when I'm home for break to allow myself to properly grieve by myself without others interrupting. But I couldn't handle being alone today.


-B
--

R.I.P. my sweet baby boy. I miss you so much more than you could have ever imagined.


"There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one other moment when I was close to that. . . . But even in my most jaded times, I had some hope.-Gerard Way
   
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Re: In the morning it will all be better. - March 13th 2010, 08:39 PM

I'm glad to hear going out with your friends helped - sometimes company is the best medicine with these things, especially so close to the event. It's a shame the film was sold out but at least the company made up for it. As for your sister, I think the fact that when it has come to the crunch she has been worried about you and looked out for you is a good indicator that she does care deep down - even if most of the time it doesn't show. People hide things for all kinds of reasons, especially at this age.
I think you're right about our connections with pets - for a lot of people they do come more easily, and it's down to the fact the relationship is a different kind compared with our families. Human relationships are always quite complicated for one reason or another - but if they weren't I suppose life would get boring!
As always, feel free to vent if you need to, and look after yourself.
   
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Re: In the morning it will all be better. - March 15th 2010, 01:13 AM

I just wish that people didn't feel the need to hide the fact that they really do care. It's like society, or perhaps just my family, has made it shameful to display any sort of emotion. Mind you, I'm not wanting to live my life over dramatically. I just want it to be acceptable to show my emotions when I need to.


-B
--

R.I.P. my sweet baby boy. I miss you so much more than you could have ever imagined.


"There was a moment in my life when I really wanted to kill myself. And there was one other moment when I was close to that. . . . But even in my most jaded times, I had some hope.-Gerard Way
   
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