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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
TheNumber Offline
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Name: Zach
Age: 26
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Join Date: April 4th 2010

I miss her - April 5th 2010, 01:55 AM

I lost my dog, Arwen, a few weeks ago. She and my other dog, Raven, got out at about 8PM. My mom went looking for them, but couldn't find them because it was so dark. I stayed inside .. they had gotten out before, i wasn't so worried.

The next day I went to school like normal. I didn't realize they were still out, I figured they came back home while I was sleeping and were up in my parents bedroom. I didn't notice them gone when I came back home either, until my sister pointed it out.

For about a week we were looking for them. riding bikes, putting up posters, and riding cars throughout the nearby neighborhoods. It was a waste of time .. but we didn't know that then. Later in the week, my mom picked me up from school. She started crying in the car. I didn't say anything to her, I was too afraid of what she'd tell me. She motioned at the area between our two seats while still crying .. there was black hair there. Raven's hair. For a second I felt so happy. I asked her if we had found the dogs. She said she found Raven.

when i asked her where Arwen was, she told me she was dead.

i was confused, and asked her if she knew for sure. She said yes.

to shorten this up ... the dogs had ran out onto the iced over lake. But the weather was warming up, the ice wasn't solid. They fell through. Raven is the younger dog, and she's a Husky/Border Collie/Chow mix, so she had a thicker coat and was stronger. Arwe,.n was Golden Retriever/Border Collie/German Shepard .. thinner coat and a smaller dog.

A boater went out on the lake, and found our dogs swimming. That is so unbelievably lucky, it was cold and icy. He found both of out dogs, but only Raven was still swimming. Arwen was already dead in the water, he didn't get her. We had to get her out of the lake later on.

I've had Arwen since I was eight years old. I'm really hurting over this. I loved all of my dogs to some extent .. Even Artemis, who had attacked me when I was a kid. We had to put him down. But out of all those dogs, Arwen was the one I was most attached to. She was quiet. Raven is hyper, runs around, howls .. which is okay too, but I didn't feel quite as close to her as I did Arwen.

Arwen would come up to me when I was on the computer and put her head on my lap ... wanting me to pet her. if you said 'do you wanna go outside?' she'd start dancing around, really .. really happy/excited. When I was petting Raven, she'd nudge my arm because she wanted to be pet, too. She got jealous. She'd sleep in my bedroom, sometimes, and pretty much never did anything but love.

I feel alone. And I feel stupid, too. I'm crying more over this than how much I cried over my Grandma's death. I actually WATCHED as she died from cancer .. and my dog is hurting me more. how messed up is that?

I feel so guilty, too. Why wasn't I out there searching for them the minute they got out? I went to sleep. Went. To. Sleep. And she died because of it. If I had gone out to look, they'd BOTH be back not just one of them .. i know they would .. it's my fault my dog is dead. i still call her sometimes expecting her to come over, and when i remember she isn't there anymore ... and it's my fault

Not sure why I posted this. Just ranting, I guess ..
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Spellbound Offline
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Re: I miss her - April 5th 2010, 02:48 AM

I'm so sorry that this happened I would give you a hug right now if I could.

Don't blame yourself for what happened. It's not your fault. You didn't know that your dog was going to pass on, so no one is to blame. I know that it's hard to accept, but don't beat yourself up about it and think too much about what could have happened had you gone out to look for her. You just expected that everything was going to be okay, so how could you have known?

Also, it's normal to be this upset about your dog dying. I know that I have seen any dog that I have ever had as a part of the family. I think that animals are family members and more than pets. The good pets are the ones who are your best friends and whom you form such a special bond with. So it's normal for the mourning process for your dog to be similar to the way it was when your grandmother died.

Just think about all of the good times that you had with your dog. Think of all of the memories that you have with her. I know that it's hard to deal with her death, but hopefully thinking or talking with a family member about the good times you had with her will at least make you smile, even if it's just a little bit.
I hope that everything goes well for you. PM me if you ever want to talk.

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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
TheNumber Offline
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Name: Zach
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Re: I miss her - April 5th 2010, 02:20 PM

A lot of people tell me to the think of the good times. It does help for about five seconds, where I might smile. But then it goes straight back to how that's never going to happen again, and I start crying. I've had dreams about watching my dog drown to death, and that really messes me up. I don't feel like I can talk to my family about it, because they're hurting too .. just, she was my dog. I was so attached to her, i'd tell her anything I couldn't get the courage to tell my family, friends, or boyfriend. I could pet her for hours.

Figured I might as well post a picture of her, to show what she looked like. She really was a beautiful dog.

htt p://i400.photobucket .com/albums/pp87/Neoscr yer/100_0247.jpg?t=1270477018

take the spaces out, teen help decides i'm not allowed to post links /:
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death, dog, dying, grief, loss, miss, mourning, pet

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