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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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HeyMonday Offline
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Unhappy my grandad died today... - February 11th 2009, 11:24 PM

when i came home from school today, i saw my grandad lying on the floor in my living room. medics were all around him, an abumlance in the drive way and my mommar crying her eyes out. my dad sent me round to the neighbours who already knew about it and were waiting for me. as i walked in a machine went 'no pulse'. i broke down.

my sister, who is ten, was already there crying and crying and standing at the window at my neighbours watching the ambulance. she wouldnt move. she told me that he had collapsed in the living room while she was at school and my mommar was so shocked she didn't know what to do so she went to my sisters school and picked her up early. my sister saw the body and everything.

she rang my dad, who then rang an abulance and then rushed home to help. my mum, whos father it is, was at work the whole time and didnt get picked up or even called until almost after he was driven to hospital. everyone in the family was in shock and we are all devestated.

its the first loss of the family, and i dont know how to take it. my sister is taking it VERY badly and i cant stop crying. i feel numb.

my grandad was 68 and died of lung failure due to smoking. hes was a lovely man who spoiled us all rotten. i just feel like i didn't say what i wanted to say to him and i just feel completely lost.

i think honestly, i just need someone to talk to. i am a complete mess and i hate to think what its like for my mommar. shes now all alone in the world, can't drive to even see us (cos my grandad used to drive her around).

the fact it was all so sudden as well. i feel like reality hasn't hit me yet. i dont know what to do with myself.
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BrittneyNicole Offline
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Re: my grandad died today... - February 11th 2009, 11:37 PM

Oh my gosh. I am SO sorry for your loss. Losing a family member, especially a grandparent, is so hard. I remember losing my grandma and I remember being a wreck. I'm not going to lie to you here. The pain will never go away but with time it will get easier and it won't hurt as badly. Take the time to grieve in any way that works for you. Maybe plant a tree in his memory or make a memory book. Don't beat yourself up because you didn't tell him everything you wanted. He KNOWS that you love him. I used to beat myself up about not telling my grandma about how I felt and I know that was no way to live. Live to honor your grandpa. If you EVER need someone to talk to, lease feel free to PM me. I'm always here.
Take care.

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HeyMonday Offline
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Re: my grandad died today... - February 11th 2009, 11:38 PM

i cant stop crying and feeling bad for my sister, she is so upset its heart breaking.
but also, i feel so guilty that like i took him for granted.
i wish i could have told him that i loved him and stuff.
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Re: my grandad died today... - February 12th 2009, 12:12 AM

i'm so sorry.
like britany said the pain never goes away but it does get easier.

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Re: my grandad died today... - February 14th 2009, 05:34 PM

I want to, first, tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I'm sure you'll hear that a lot, just remember that people mean it.

Losing a loved one is never easy. It sounds like the lost of your grandad is really affecting you and all of your family. Lean on each other during this difficult time--talking about how you're feeling as well as spending time in each other's company may make this easier for all of you.

You say you never got to say things to him. Well, it's not to late. Don't be afraid to talk to him, even though he can't answer. It may help to say those things out loud. It's okay to tell him that you love him, now. I don't know if you believe this, but I think he will hear you.

Try to make now a peaceful time in your life. Think of all of the wonderful memories you have with your grandad--the things that nothing in this world, not even death, can take from you. Those are yours to keep, forever.

Someday I will be strong enough to lift not one but both of us.
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Re: my grandad died today... - February 14th 2009, 06:02 PM

As everyone above me has said, losing a loved one is never easy, but i'm so sorry for your loss, take some time to grieve, and remember all the good time you had with him.
Grandparents love their grandchildren unconditionally, so i'm positive he knew you loved him a lot


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Re: my grandad died today... - February 18th 2009, 11:45 PM

OMG!!! to come home to that and see your grandpa like that is just horrible....i know what it is like to lose a loved one....I lost my grandma when i was 12 to colon cancer that spread,,,,so i do know what it is like to lose someone....that you really cared about....and if you ever need to talk EVER....ANYTIME....feel free to pm me....i am here and ready to listen....i promise...i hope you will talk to me....and just try to remember the happy times even though you saw him like that like i saw my grandma when she passed.....it is really hard to get that image out of your head bc believe me i am still trying but jsut try and think about the good times......and remember anytime you need to talk i am here
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Re: my grandad died today... - February 27th 2009, 08:20 AM

oh so sorry for this news. this is very sad news. i know this time you suffer from serious pain. i also lost my grandad. i love him alot and i know whats the pain when any family member we loss.
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Re: my grandad died today... - February 27th 2009, 08:49 AM

Hi HeyMonday,

I am very sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you.

What a terribly traumatic day - for all of you. A day that none of you will ever forget. But as traumatic as it was - and as upsetting as it still is - try to keep in mind that the love you all have for your Granddad - and the love that he has for all of you - is STILL there. That love didn't go anywhere. It is still in your hearts - just as it always has been.

It's going to be difficult for awhile. And it's going to be confusing too. There are going to be times that - without warning - you'll become quite upset. That's to be expected. It's all part of the mourning process. But in the weeks ahead - the pain and the heartache will subside. Never completely - but enough for you to realize that your Granddad doesn't want any of you to be sad. He wants all of you to enjoy your lives. And when the time comes for each of you to leave this world - just as he has done - you will - once again - be with each other.

Feel free to talk about what you're going through. Even IF it doesn't always make sense to you. We are here for you.

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