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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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i dont know if i hate him or love him - July 11th 2010, 12:04 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of death or grieving, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

oka... well me and my mom were in the car on the way to a store when she told me my dad beat her and he died of suicide in january and i dont know i hate him for hitting my mom but i still love him ughh idk
   
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Re: i dont know if i hate him or love him - July 11th 2010, 12:38 AM

i think that it's okay for you to be confused.
you hate him because he abused your mom
but you love him because he's your dad..

just relax;
don't put to much pressure on yourself
because you hate or love him.
it's okay for you to have these feelings.
and your mom should understand why you have these feelings towards him.
don't stress out too much.


   
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Re: i dont know if i hate him or love him - July 13th 2010, 10:55 PM

Hey Kristen.

I am sorry to hear about your dad. It sounds like you are really confused with how you are feeling at the moment. After all he was your dad so of course you are going to still love him even if he did beat your mum. But you may also hate him as well after what he did and that is only natural.

Stay strong.
   
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Re: i dont know if i hate him or love him - July 16th 2010, 12:53 AM

I don't think you hate him, you are just angry with him. You have to understand, he probably felt really guilty about beating your mom, and people who beat up their spouses usually grew up watching that themselves, which is what turned them that way. So it's sometimes not entirely their fault. But the thing is, he was still your dad and you still have a right to miss him and love him, but him commiting suicide was wrong of course.
   
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