Pointless ramble.

[Singing to the starlight]

Its been 20 months
It feels like he's slipping away.

I want to celebrate him but nobody wants to talk. I don't want to be sad or cry. I want to remember him how he was and not how he is. He is held in our memories as that shining little boy with all the energy in the world. Why can we not remember him. Celebrate him every day.

I suppose its my fault that I don't go back to the house to see the family more often, but so much has changed, it feels dirty and tainted now. Its not home. It doesn't feel like home. But maybe that's not because of the changes, maybe that's because he's not there. He made it home. He greeted me every morning when everybody else was at work or sleeping in.

I just want to talk about him to somebody who doesn't go awkward or try and come up with suggestions. Nothings going to bring him back, I just need to work this through. He's rattling around in my brain and heart and sometimes just talking about things helps you...organise it more?

I'm talking about him like he's a problem that needs to be solved. He is not. He's part of me. I want him in my head and my heart, forever. That's where he belongs. Just... I feel so tied up in knots.

I don't even know what this post is at all.

[someoneoutthere]

hey, if you're talking about something thats important to you, its not pointless. or just ramble. if you need to talk about it, just say everything you need to say. if you don't want advice, then i won't give it to you. PM me if you need to talk, i won't go all awkward, promise.