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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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still hasn't gotten better.. - September 2nd 2010, 07:30 AM

idk if this fits better in Depression/Suicide or Self Harm or what i don't really care i need to talk about it..


ugh it's been three and a half years since she died... and i don't feel any different.. two years of therapy did nothing... my girlfriend (when she was with me) didn't really help i can't open up to anyone anymore... cept you all on TH i guess
seriously when is the pain supposed to stop? i can't fucking stand it anymore.
lol i fuckin cut myself everyday now, no it doesn't help and no i shouldn't do it i know perfectly well, but at least it's a goddamn distraction from the constant ache and.... need for her.
she was fucking everything to me, and she's gone.. i've tried so many times to just end it all and i want to again.. life is just so... painful and un-fucking-important now, i have no DRIVE anymore why am i still here?
she always told me to keep on, but it's not like she knew she was going to be taken out of life, she knew i wouldn't be able to SURVIVE without her here.. even when we weren't together, even when we hated eachother at least she was alive at least there was the comfort that the person i loved was breathing and i could talk to her whenever i needed to.. now there really isn't anyone.. i can come on here and bitch about my problems and yeah occasionally someone will respond but what good does it do any of us?
i know someone is gonna reply to this, and i know the advice that is gonna be given, because how much advice can you really give someone in this situation?
therapy doesn't help, all my close friends are pretty much gone, college and all that bullshit, i drove away my best friend, ugh i fucking sound like i'm whining and i hate it that's not what i want to do i just need to get this shit off my chest...

i need help, i know, i have a lot of unresolved feelings and i'm suicidal and i have bad self'harming tendencies
geez, every day just feels like a fucking drag, i feel worthless, christ....
i don't know how i'm gonna make it through this... sure i've made it three years but good lord i can't stand this... it gets harder every day, i think about her constantly...

idk i need someone to talk to... please....
   
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Re: still hasn't gotten better.. - September 3rd 2010, 04:28 AM

from what you've said i can tell that you really loved her, you still do, and you always will. i don't think you should change that. i also don't think that its advice that you need. its going to take a long time to get past what happened, and no words will be able to speed up the healing process.
just remember that people are here if you need to talk or if you just need to vent.


-i still believe,
that there is more love than hate, theres more heart than ache,
and we are stuck in this great big world together-
<3
-red jumpsuit apparatus
   
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Re: still hasn't gotten better.. - September 4th 2010, 07:35 AM

thanks.... i know, i know time is the only thing that's really gonna help. thanks for replying, i need someone to say that
   
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