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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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kat17 Offline
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dad died 2 weeks ago. help? - September 11th 2010, 11:40 PM

ok so my dad died very very unexpectedly 2 weeks ago from asphyxiation. At first, I was in shock and was very numb. Then after a few days it really hit me and i was crying all the time and I couldn't stop. now, 2 weeks later, I feel like it didn't happen, i don't even feel sad! I hate this because I really really love him and I miss him. He didn't live with me so maybe this is why? I don't know. I feel like I'm not grieving normal or is this just normal denial? ughh please help me not feel so guilty!!
   
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Re: dad died 2 weeks ago. help? - September 12th 2010, 04:00 AM

I really think there is a point in grief where you just cannot cry any more. And it is normal, its okay, its good to be 'happy' as opposed to a complete mess. He will want you to be happy also, its not as though you are disrespecting him at all.
So sorry to hear about your loss, stay strong xx
   
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Re: dad died 2 weeks ago. help? - September 21st 2010, 12:18 AM

I know how you feel there. I lost my dad when I was 8, and the only time I cried was when I found out. I felt terrible, but my mother got me a counselor and she explained that people deal with their pain in different ways. unfortunatley i deal with mine through nightmares, I had nightmares for about a year and now I have them again because I suffered another loss
   
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Re: dad died 2 weeks ago. help? - September 23rd 2010, 02:50 AM

maybe u accepted he was gone and its ok not to cry anymore it may feel wired cuz u feel like u should cry but maybe u know he is in a better place now




Life is too

Short to spend

It at war with

Yourself.

Iím catching stars in the sky because I am fixing the soul within me. May it be from the heart a girl broke years ago or my soul simply repairing itself as it was shattered on my walk on this earth. May the stardust fill those cracks within my soul making me brand new, but never forgetting who I once was.


   
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Re: dad died 2 weeks ago. help? - September 23rd 2010, 03:29 AM

I think what you are going through is the stages of grief. Since it has only been a few weeks, I think you may be going through stage 1: Shock and Denial. You did mention shock and feeling numb. Some may deny the reality of loss at some level in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. Each stage of grief is different and can last for weeks until the next stage develops. But like previously mentioned, we all deal with grief differently and there isn't a right or a wrong way...its YOUR way. There is no time line of when you should be moving on with it because no matter what...he was your dad and he was a special part of your life.
Constantly remember the good memories and keep him alive in you...by remembering how much he meant to you. He was in your life for a reason...he was a gift to you.
You continue grieving any way you want...you are allowed and it is a good idea to talk to someone to about this...just as you are here. No need to go through this alone...we are all here for you
   
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Re: dad died 2 weeks ago. help? - September 23rd 2010, 05:31 AM

Hey there,
I do think you are going through the stages of grief. Just let yourself grieve. We all do in different ways. Don't keep your feelings in. And don't feel bad for feeling this way. You can talk to me anytime, my Dad passed away, 2 years ago when i was 16 years old. We both got into a car accident and i was the only one that survived. I know what its like, and i know how bad it hurts.
I also lost my Grandmother on the 10th of this month. Don't be afraid to reach out for help.
I'll be thinking of you.




   
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Re: dad died 2 weeks ago. help? - September 23rd 2010, 11:50 PM

I just want to clear up your misconception that you aren't grieving normally. Because there is no one "normal" way to grieve. Everybody grieves differently; some cry, some get angry, some wake up and feel ok the next day, some can't escape the grief for years, some only realize what "hit" them until years after. Whatever is happening to you in the grieving process is meant to happen. The fact that you even feel guilty that you don't feel sad enough shows what a wonderful, caring daughter your Dad raised. My Grandma, who I was so close to, died over the summer, and I only cried at her funeral. I felt little remorse, and I too felt guilty. But I realized that it's not an issue of whether I cared, but whether I was at peace with her death. I understood that she would always maintain a presence in my life, through my thoughts, actions, and in my memories, and that made me feel happy. And it's ok to feel happiness or smile, because that's the kind of reaction your Dad would hope you would have when he left his legacy and memories upon you. Chin up, everything is fine. I hope this helped...PM me if you'd like to chat further.


"A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person."

   
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Re: dad died 2 weeks ago. help? - September 24th 2010, 03:21 AM

I know exactly how you feel. My mom passed away a little over a month ago now and I'm feeling the same thing. I have lived with my dad since I was 5 and I wasn't as close to her as I would have liked to have been.
   
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