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Death and Grieving Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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my friend just commited suicide - February 22nd 2009, 12:27 AM

hey,
just when i thought life as going good i find out my pretty much one and only TRUE friend commited suicide because her parents hated her no matter how hard she tried to please them , i dot know what to do, im freaking solid, bawling, punching shit.. ugh



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Re: my friend just commited suicide - February 22nd 2009, 12:38 AM

Brendan!!

I'm so sorry. I hate that feeling when someone close to you is just.. gone. It's a lot to swallow. If you want to talk about it, you should find some mutual friends and focus on celebrating her life. Maybe get together, play some music and talk about memories together and maybe share things she gave you guys?

Remember that even though she's gone, she certainly wouldn't want you to live a miserable life because of it, okay?

PM me if you want to talk, I'm here.


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Re: my friend just commited suicide - February 22nd 2009, 12:45 AM

Brendan, I'm really sorry about the loss of your friend. I've lost friends before as well, so I know how hard it is. However, I've never lost anyone near to me to suicide. How are you handling it? Take a deep breath and try to calm down. I know she was your good friend and it is hard to lose someone. Whatever you do though, you can't blame yourself for your friend's death. She made a decision and you had nothing to do with it Brendan. You can't allow yourself to feel any guilt over this.

Are you going to go to your friend's funeral? I think that if you were go, it would provide some closure for you. I always suggest going to events like these, even though I know they will be horribly hard to sit through. In the end, it is better to have gone. It helps make things more real in your mind, so you'll know that she is really gone.

I'm going to try to provide you with some resources that could help you deal with the death of your friend. This site has some tips to help you deal with the loss of your friend and how to help others that are trying to cope as well. This has the phases of grief listed on the site and I think you could find some things that will help you know where you are at and how to deal with these feelings. Brendan, if you ever need to talk I want you to know that you can always PM me.


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Re: my friend just commited suicide - February 22nd 2009, 12:52 AM

thanks guys.. and i cant, i mean, she lives in florida and i live in up west canada.. she.. shes gone.. and not only was she my best, only, true and close friend, i pretty much loved her. and she never let on anything that was going on, i coulda done something if i knew and it is my fault.. and i cant even go to her funeral or get together with mutual friends, i know one or two of them and we were talking and thats how i found out and now im freakin solid.. bawling, throwing fists, ripping hair out, i cant take itt. i m ready to give up.



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Re: my friend just commited suicide - February 22nd 2009, 12:54 AM

don't give up. giving up isn't going to help you or anyone else.


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Re: my friend just commited suicide - February 22nd 2009, 12:57 AM

yeah i know that but i dont know.. i just cant take this, i lost a friend 3 months ago to suicide, but we werent close but it stil lafected me.

you know.. out of all the supplements in this house, i could be gone in 5 minutes and painless.



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Re: my friend just commited suicide - February 22nd 2009, 01:00 AM

Giving up is not what she wanted, and it's not the healthy way to deal with this. It's NOT your fault even though it may seem this way, but oftentimes with suicide, there's not much you can do. It's not your fault.

Dealing with grief is a long and troublesome thing but it must be done. And it'll take time. And it's ok to be mad.

Just be careful with yourself, okay?

*hug*


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Re: my friend just commited suicide - February 22nd 2009, 01:14 AM

Thanks but I don't knoww. I can feel myself falling apart now.

Everything running through my mind, giving up training, getting expelled from school, i just wanna lash out and feel it all just fade away.

The adrenaline in my body can't be safe, because I feel lke trashing my house and picking fights up town.



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Re: my friend just commited suicide - February 22nd 2009, 01:22 AM

i don't know what your friend was thinking when she comitted suicide... but i really doubt she wanted you to follow her, or to do all these things because of her death. you've just go to go on. you've got to pick up the pieces and just keep moving, no matter how much it hurts.


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Re: my friend just commited suicide - February 22nd 2009, 01:39 AM

i know that it was her parents fault, because she left a note.

and i know i dont but i just cant take it, how would you feel if your girlfriend or boyfriend got taken away? Well thats bascially what we were, just unofficial.



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Re: my friend just commited suicide - February 22nd 2009, 01:45 AM

I am so sorry about your loss. I can't imagine losing a friend to suicide but I can imagine how horrible it must be. I know it's scary and painful losing a friend; really, I do. But don't give up. The pain will start to subside and soon it will just be an ache. And it WILL get easier. Not right away but it will. If you can't go to her funeral try having your own ceremony to get a sense of closure. Maybe write her a letter and bury it or plant a tree in her memory.
If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me. Take care.


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Re: my friend just commited suicide - February 22nd 2009, 01:52 AM

its horrible, awful, body shaking, heart stopping pain. the pain that i cant stop. and i dont know what to do and i dont really give a shit anymore, about anything. right now, i want to be with her. and every frickin' second i just picture her pretty face and cry. haha, some man i am !



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Re: my friend just commited suicide - February 22nd 2009, 03:20 AM

Men are allowed to cry. Just because you are crying does make you any less of a man. It's okay to be hurt and upset. Just don't hurt yourself. She wouldn't have wanted that.


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Re: my friend just commited suicide - February 22nd 2009, 03:35 AM

Hey Brendan.
You don't have to be a 'man' right now.
Even men can cry... there's nothing wrong with it. Doesn't make you any weaker.. or less strong. I am sorry about your friend, I really am. But I can tell you that your friend is a lot closer to you then you think. Idk what religion you are or anything like that, but it doesn't matter, because above all else she's in your heart, and that's the closest she can ever be. Stay strong, okay? x.x.x





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Re: my friend just commited suicide - February 22nd 2009, 03:53 AM

i will second what amanda said because the loved ones who you think are gone are keeping a watchful eye over you from your heart hence, this friend of yours, will definitely want you to enjoy , with a smile and get every joy out of life stay strong for herrr!!

and the thing is ... even a man breaks down. lets face it, in the very deep uncharted areas of a tough guy's heart is just really, another human being asking for a hug and love hence, there's nothing in this that means that you're not a man.

always ready to help in case there's anything.


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Re: my friend just commited suicide - February 22nd 2009, 04:21 AM

This pisses me off so much you have no idea. I keep hearing about parents that insult there children and it makes want to kill them. The only good thing that came out of this is that her parents are going to live with what they've done, they deserve no better.
   
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Re: my friend just commited suicide - February 22nd 2009, 05:00 AM

I know it's going to be tough and go ahead cry about it but don't beat yourself up over what happened.


You can't live a positive life with a negative mind and if you have a positive outcome you have a positive income and just to have more positivity and just to kind of laugh it off. ~ Miley Cyrus




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Re: my friend just commited suicide - February 22nd 2009, 01:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrittneyNicole View Post
Men are allowed to cry. Just because you are crying does make you any less of a man. It's okay to be hurt and upset. Just don't hurt yourself. She wouldn't have wanted that.
I know they are but still, I get shit for it if I do. Midas well slap this fish on the table now, to be honest I've been on and off about not wanting to live for the last few months. And now, I don't know, I just want to be with her but at the same time I feel like she's watching me because when I get a crazy thought like to go get drunk I just picture her face and forget about the idea.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Concrete Girl View Post
Hey Brendan.
You don't have to be a 'man' right now.
Even men can cry... there's nothing wrong with it. Doesn't make you any weaker.. or less strong. I am sorry about your friend, I really am. But I can tell you that your friend is a lot closer to you then you think. Idk what religion you are or anything like that, but it doesn't matter, because above all else she's in your heart, and that's the closest she can ever be. Stay strong, okay? x.x.x
I know, I know. Thank-you, means a lot to me because it's bad enough her own parents made her think they hated her, to the point that she took her own life 3 days ago. I'm Roman Catholic, I'll try and I know she is.

Quote:
Originally Posted by darrenboy! View Post
i will second what amanda said because the loved ones who you think are gone are keeping a watchful eye over you from your heart hence, this friend of yours, will definitely want you to enjoy , with a smile and get every joy out of life stay strong for herrr!!

and the thing is ... even a man breaks down. lets face it, in the very deep uncharted areas of a tough guy's heart is just really, another human being asking for a hug and love hence, there's nothing in this that means that you're not a man.

always ready to help in case there's anything.
I'm trying but it's so hard. My life is a war right now, every-day a new area, a new soldier to go against and another bullet or bomb flying past my neck. And I knew that because all the guys and some snobby girls are always like "Brendans just a meathead, with his protein shakes and chesseburgers" But the ones that get to know me realize I'm pretty deep, they just don't look past the 10 lbs of whey I go through in a month. Another thing that pisses me off in this situation, her parents must not have seen the true beauty in her, she was really gorgeous, had goals and was set for life and her parents took that away from her by stating they hate her. Now if my parents did that, I wouldn't have killed myself but i damn sure wouldn't be in that house. So I think something else was going on and it IS my fault because I didn't ask how she was doing and blah blah blah, she always found a way to figure out what was wrong with me and fix it and everytime i asked her she was all fine but I could feel something wrong, I know the differences when we talk. But yet, I didn't push to find out and look where she is.

Quote:
Originally Posted by wtp View Post
This pisses me off so much you have no idea. I keep hearing about parents that insult there children and it makes want to kill them. The only good thing that came out of this is that her parents are going to live with what they've done, they deserve no better.
Her parents probably don't care. They kicked her out and made her go to her aunts house in Florida, all the way from Barrie, ON. And you know what, when I found out, I wanted to curb stomp her dad but I thought long and hard and that won't do anything, just gives her more satisifaction

Quote:
Originally Posted by irish_eyes View Post
I know it's going to be tough and go ahead cry about it but don't beat yourself up over what happened.
I know and I can't friggin' take it anymore. Screw life.



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R.I.P Brittney <3 I'll never forget you! - February 23rd 2009, 01:03 PM

Hey,

So as some of you know my friend commited suicide a few days ago. Her name was Brittney, she lives in Florida and sadly I cannot attend her funeral. I need to try and make a post or something to get this out, so to speak. So if anyone feels that this post shouldn't be here you can delete it and I will understand, but I am asking to please leave it open.. And up.

Brittney, she was actually a one of a kind girl. Really cheery, really nice, really preppy too but she had a pretty chill side to her; Although she did smoke weed, and drink, and have sex partys a lot she was an amazing girl and there was nothing wrong with her that meets the eye. She was a good friend, there for me when I needed it, never stabbed me in the back like the rest of my friends, she kept me on my feet with a smile at that. I honestly think without her I probably wouldn't have made it this far in my life, I mean, she's what kept me going and driven. I will never forget her smile, the things she said, our conversations together, I just can't get her off my mind for two reasons: One and only best friend & I love her. I still picture her pretty face all the time, and break down in tears. I know she's watching over me, last-night I said "Brittney, if your watching over me, there won't be school tomorrow" Sounds stupid but today there isn't school. That was a sign, in my opinion. I decided to post a picture too. The sad thing here is she had so much potential, she was truly an amazing person and she wasted her life away because her parents hated her. If only I knew something about what was going on, maybe i could have stopped her

R.I.P Brittney, I'll never forget you ! <3

[Photo removed. -Jessie]



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Last edited by eunoia; February 24th 2009 at 06:05 PM. Reason: Out of respect for the family we request that you do not post photos in this forum.
   
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Re: R.I.P Brittney <3 I'll never forget you! - February 23rd 2009, 01:15 PM

Brendan,
Like I've said, I am so terribly sorry for your loss. She sounds like an amazing girl and she is gorgeous. And I'm sure she was lucky to have you for a friend and to have your heart. Please, Brendan, do not blame yourself for her death. I know that is so much easier said than done but believe that this is NOT your fault. You couldn't have stopped her; She had made up her mind. Let yourself grieve but it will get easier, I promise.
If you need someone to talk to, feel free to contact me.
Take care. :]


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Re: R.I.P Brittney <3 I'll never forget you! - February 23rd 2009, 01:21 PM

Thanks, I appreciate that. And your wrong, I was the lucky one. You know, when you looses omeone like her, you relize a lot of things and value people a lot more. What I've come to realize is yes, I might not have been able to stop her, but I might have been able to help. I know it's technically not my fault, just the fact that she didn't even seek help, she just wanted to be happy, it bothers me because this is what keeping everything inside comes to, one big explosion, your either dead or emotionally wrecked.

I will say one thing, that I hope EVERYONE will learn without going through what I'm going through now. And I'm putting this in red letters for a reason:

When you die, even the people who you just say hi to in the hallway in the morning will cry and be hurt from this. There will always be people you can talk to, people that support you and people that care about you and love you. And your feeling depressed or upset, talk about it before it gets too bad and you end up doing something drastic.

The fact that I don't want to live right now, won't change. But the fact that I am going to live right now, is written in stone, I know she would have wanted me to live and live the happiest and fullest because I can sometimes feel like she's sitting beside me, strange but it's true. And although many of you guys will think it's not okay to cry, it is. I've spent my whole weekend crying, it's like the atlantic ocean over here.



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Re: R.I.P Brittney <3 I'll never forget you! - February 23rd 2009, 01:25 PM

It's totally okay to cry. I recently lost a really good friend as well, although not by suicide. So I sort of know how you feel. But trust me, it WILL get easier. I promise.
Hang in there, okay?


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Re: R.I.P Brittney <3 I'll never forget you! - February 23rd 2009, 01:31 PM

Sorry to hear that! And all I can do is try. I've been 'hanging in there' since last March, and I just keep going back down the hill everytime I go up a little bit more and more. One day I'll just fall all the way down an that'll be that.



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Re: my friend just commited suicide - February 24th 2009, 01:56 PM

just remember you always got our support


Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

we come, we help, we stick and never leave. pm me anytimeee!

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Re: my friend just commited suicide - February 24th 2009, 03:28 PM

- It's me, brendanmonline. And thanks!!


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