Mom passed away

[JessicaGDA]

I lost my mom to an accidental drug over dose April 26th of this year. Even though it's soon to turn to 2011. Which means... it's getting closer and closer to being a full year. I'm having a really tough time with handling her loss. She and I were very close, and I'm only 16 which makes it a lot harder. I also lost my grandmother one month after I lost my mom. And I lost my grandpa two years ago. It's been a lot of loss in 2 years.

I've been very angry with her, and am trying to forgive her now that she's gone for what happened. As we tried to get her off of medication for quite some time, she always chose the drugs over us. And I'm just angry and hurt over that, is that wrong?
I'm just trying to figure out how to move on, there's so many emotional scars she left me with. I'm not sure how to fix that now that she's not here. And just letting go of it is even harder.

[Yours Truly]

Im so sorry for all of your losses. /: That has to feel terrible. I lost 2 close family members within days of eachother, back in 08. I know how rough that is. /:

"I've been very angry with her, and am trying to forgive her now that she's gone for what happened. As we tried to get her off of medication for quite some time, she always chose the drugs over us. And I'm just angry and hurt over that, is that wrong? "

Thats great that you're trying to forgive her. That doesnt make it okay what she did and just because she passed on, doesnt mean it will be easy for the hurt to go away. It wont. She was your mother. Im sorry she put you through that. It is not wrong that your so angry and hurt over it. Its not your fault, and any child would be upset if their parents continually chose a substance or somthing like that, over their own children. Thats how I was with my mother.

You can forgive, but you probably wont forget. I suggest you go to a counsler to work through the loss of your mother, along with the other emotional scars she left you with.

But if you cant do that right now for whatever reason, or if you can but still want extra support, feel free to pm or vm me. Even if you just need to vent or somthing.

Everything will be okay. You can get through this rough time. The first year is always the hardest. But things will start to get better, eventually. Imsure of it. (:

[*Jen*]

Hey Jess,

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. It is understandable you are having a tough time with it because after all she was your mum and nothing will ever be able to replace her. I can understand you would feel angry with her but I don't think she would have wanted to leave you. She may not have realised just how much taking all these drugs were killing her. She may have been that addicted to them and not felt able to just stop taking them and then it was too late.

It is going to be a tough journey moving on and learning to cope with it. But I believe you can do it. You just have to take little steps at a time. You are of course always going to miss your mum but hopefully in time it may hurt a little less than it does right now.

Ashley is right about seeing a counsellor. I think it would really help you to work through your pain and come to terms with what has happened.

I am always here if you do want to chat. Don't go through this all alone. I will do anything I can to help

[ALLorNOTHINGforCHRIST]

Hey I am SO sorry about your mother, as I KNOW it is hard. It is OK to be sad or even angry this far in that is perfectly acceptable. My grandmother on my father's side lost her husband either in Jan or Feb 15 years ago this coming year 11. His birthday was the other month; which is why I can not remember which one is which. But do you know she still gets upset when that time of year comes around sometimes after FIFTEEN years. It is perfectly acceptable to be upset about a loss like that 8 months a year even 20 or 30 years on.

[JessicaGDA]

Thanks everyone.

It's hard knowing she's not here, and of course going through the holidays, new year starting, and my Birthday is in March. So there's going to be a lot of firsts still coming up. I'm not looking forward to it. I've always heard that it's normal to be angry when a loved one passes away, but it seems more intense when there was addiction, alcoholism and such involved. Not sure why, but it always feels like it could had somehow been prevented. Like we could had done more.

[xxpaigiexx]

Hey Jess,
I can understand how hard it must be the new year coming a long and not having your mum.
Everyone deals with grief in different ways, some people do get angry and other people just don't appear to have anything wrong.
I can see exactly why you're angry, but nothing could be done. I'm sure you and everyone around you did as much as they could for your mum. You can't blame yourself or anyone else for what happened.
I know right now this is probably difficult but you have to try and think of all the good things about your mum and all of the good memories that the two of you shared, try not to focus on the negative things.
Just try to think of your mum when she was at her happiest before the drugs and things.

I'm sorry for your loss, things will eventually get slightly easier.
I'm always here of you need me,
Paige
xx

[Mrs.Cox10]

Its going to be tough after a loss. Im not going to tell you to suck it up because you dont need to. Its okay to feel these emotions. Its part of life. And yes its even harder loosing a close parent. Mainly you need to forgive, not her, yourself. You dont need to blame yourself or hate yourself. You need to feel at peace. Once you do that, letting go of the hurt wont be as hard. Its going to be hard and you will Always remember her and hurt over her. Its normal. But dealing with it will be the best. You want fond memories and a life of happiness. If you are feeling at worst then remembering the good times will be hard. I like writing letters to my uncle that passed away. He used to smoke ciggarettes so i will put one in the envelope when i think to do so. And it makes me happy knowing he is watching me while i am doing it. Just like your mom. She is watching over you and wants you to make the right decisions. If you ever need someone to talk to im here. I understand completely with that you are going through.