Triggering (Grieving): Lost Gill <3

[Nutty Nat]

Hi this may be triggering i don't know

Well i lost Gill on wednesday 5th January 2011 to luekimia,that turned to aggressive cancer.
I am struggling to cope as i have never lost somenoe to cancer before and i don't know what to do.I will be attending the funeral when i find out when it is,one of my tutors is going to try find out for us because we can barely concentrate.
On the postivie side i got a distinction in my assignment that she persuaded me to do.
Gill i hope you are looking on proud of me,i am trying to be strong but its hard and i am trying to smile but it just turns to tears.

[Ellie]

Hey Natalie

First of all I'm really sorry to hear about your loss. It's always difficult to lose someone you care about, especially if you don't have any previous experience. It is tough knowing what to do but there isn't really a right or wrong thing to do or right or wrong way to feel. Try to listen to your body and to what it's telling you you need to do and don't try to push yourself too hard. You're allowed to be angry, you're allowed to be sad, and you're also allowed not to feel anything at all.

It's really important that you're not going through this on your own though and so I'm glad that you were able to post. It sounds like people around you are struggling as well; are they people that you'd feel able to talk to? Often when we lose someone it's good to lean on each other.

I'm sure that Gill is proud of you <3

[Nutty Nat]

Ellie - me and a tutor cried while hugging each other today when we attempted to comfort each other.theres a couple of people really to talk to my driving instructor and a friend that didn't know her. I miss her loads and the empty seat is killing me.

[Ellie]

Have you been able to talk to your instructor and friend at all? It's clear how much this is hurting you but it's good that you're able to let it out. You don't have to keep it inside or try to be strong; it is ok to let yourself feel and let yourself cry

Try to keep thinking of the times that you were able to share with Gill because nothing and no one will ever be able to take those memories or the place she has in your heart away from you.

[Nutty Nat]

I talked to them both abit driving instructor abit more though.I am unsure of what she meant by be brave and strong? i know what the keep smiling means though.I have to go to an event tomorrow and i really don't feel upto it.